Prayer for the Irish

Kweiggie

Our Lager:- A prayer for the Drinking man!

our Lager,
which art in barrels,
hallowed be thy drink.
I will be drunk,
At home as in the Tavern.
Give us this day our foamy head
and forgive us our spillages,
as we forgive thouse who spill against us ( kill the bastids)
and lead us not into incarceration,
but deliver us from hangovers.
for thine is the beer, the bitter and the lager.
for ever and ever,
Barmen!
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Never ceases to put an 'absolut' smile on my face

aidan_walsh

Since when have prayers for the Irish taken the English format?

Kweiggie

Time we steal somethin from them I say and drink aint discriminatin' as the rest of us!!!

Kweiggie

A mother was working in the kitchen, listening to her five-year-old son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son saying, "All you bastards who want off, get the hell off now, cause this is the last stop! And all you bastards who are getting on, get your asses in the train, 'cause we're going down the tracks."

The horrified mother went in and told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for two hours. When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language."

Two hours later, the son came out of the bedroom and resumed playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say, "All passengers who are disembarking the train, please remember to take all your belongings with you. We thank you for traveling with us today and hope your trip was a pleasant one." She then hears the boy continue, "For those o f you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember, there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today."

Just as the mother began to smile, the child added, "For those of you who are pissed off about the two hour delay, please see the bitch in the kitchen."

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Its an old one but still one of my favourites


Little Lucy went out into the garden and saw her cat Piddles
lying on the ground with its eyes shut and its legs in the air.
She fetched her Dad to look at Piddles, and on seeing the cat he
said, as gently as he could,

"I'm afraid Piddles is dead, Lucy."

"So why are his legs sticking up in the air like that, Daddy?"
asked Lucy as she fought back the tears.

At a loss for something to say the father replied, "Piddles'
legs are pointing straight up in the air so that it will be
easier for Jesus to float down from heaven above and grab a leg
and lift Piddles up to heaven."

Little Lucy seemed to take her Piddles' death quite well.
However, two days later when her father came home from work,
Lucy had tears in her eyes and said: "Mommy almost died this
morning."

Fearing something terrible had happened the father shook the
girl and shouted, "How do you mean Lucy? Tell Daddy!"

"Well", mumbled Lucy, "soon after you left for work this morning
I saw mommy lying on the floor with her legs in the air and she
was shouting, "Oh Jesus!!! I'm coming, I'm coming!!!" and if it
hadn't been for the milkman holding her down she would
definitely have gone, Daddy".

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The attatched pic mimics real life so it does :rolleyes:

simu

aidan_walsh wrote:

Since when have prayers for the Irish taken the English format?

Ár mbeoir
Atá i mbaraillí etc

Will I go on?

Hagar

[Pedant] Shouldn't etc be srl?[/Pedant]