Help! Worried!

worried2

Hi, my girlfriend and I had sex today for the first time(with a condom), and I fear her getting pregnant. She says that its natural to worry on the the first time, and I believe her, but I think I worry too much. Her period is due tomorrow, and that is one of the reasons we chose to do it today. I have been worried that her period will not come, and the thought seems not to be able to leave my head. We checked the condom after,poured water into it, and it hadn't ripped, but I am still unsettled. Please help.

jcoote

i doubt she's pregnant tbh but don't lose the head if she doesn't get the period tomorrow it doesn't mean your gonna be a daddy...this has happen to most fellas i'd say and it will go away soon enough just don't get cocky and do it unprotected...you'll be grand

secret_squirrel

Well unless you have super sperm or the condom came off during the act I would say the chances of your GF being pregnant are slim to none.

Its worth bearing in mind that your GF being on contraception would add another level of safety. (at least for pregancy if not STD's.)

If you are worrying this much about it - stop and consider - are you mentally ready to be having sex???

You're GF sounds in a much mature state of mind to you tbh. Is she more experienced?

Aislinn

Well, forgive me for saying this but:

Are you out of your mind?????

Okay, now that I have that out of the way , my advice: Good job on using a condom, and you're most likely "okay". However, use a backup method if you are really determined that you don't want to have children, or get married, or both, or whatever...A condom is great for preventing some STD's, but it's not the best method for preventing pregnancy on a regular basis....In both cases, a condom is not enough...Certain spermicides are also useful, as well as more widely/commonly used methods such as implants, hormone therapy, etc.

if you've decided on your own and by yourself that you don't want children you could always be a TOTAL man and get a vasectomy....That is the ultimate in male responsibility and I have met many good guys who have had it done for one reason or another....

20 Times 20 Times

im sorry i think this is ridculous PI and its just another troll trying to grip everyone just look at the user name and how many posts etc



Edit

if im wrong im sorry but hey dont think i am , and another thing sex is a mature act of fun make sure your mature enough before you do it , if your not mature enough to cope with a child then your not old enough to have sex ,

angeldelight

Sarge wrote:

im sorry i think this is ridculous PI and its just another troll trying to grip everyone just look at the user name and how many posts etc

The OP may have registered a nick just to ask rather than wait for it to be approved if they do it unregistered.

As for being so worried, it's a risk you take every time you have sex, you've done a lot to minimise the risk but it's always there. As already said, use a condom yes but use another method of contraception?

As for the vasectomy comment, seems a bit over the top! People can have sex and not want children right now, but what about in 5/10 years time??

AARRRGH

Stop worrying. You are being totally paranoid.

And when the time comes that you have sex without a condom, it's incredibily unlikely you've caught HIV

Just relax. You're being silly

Rantorama

No not a troll.Just a kid that worries a bit too much.

Agree with secret squirrel the chances that youre girlfriend maybe pregnant are slim too none.

A lot of people obsess about the worst case scenario.

The OP is not a troll.

Aislinn

angeldelight wrote:

The OP may have registered a nick just to ask rather than wait for it to be approved if they do it unregistered.

As for being so worried, it's a risk you take every time you have sex, you've done a lot to minimise the risk but it's always there. As already said, use a condom yes but use another method of contraception?

As for the vasectomy comment, seems a bit over the top! People can have sex and not want children right now, but what about in 5/10 years time??

Agreed, however, if a person does not want children, why wait or depend on women to carry the burden of the decision? Many men out there (including those that are younger) do not want kids. If they don't want kids, then they should step up to the plate and be willing to take responsibility for THEIR decision. If not, I don't want to hear their whining about "her making all the decisions". Many men have had vasectomies (some procedures in the USA are now reversible) and I say GOD BLESS THEM! Why should women continue to put all sorts of chemicals in their bodies simply because the men they are sleeping with are too immature to deal with pregnancy? Why should men have to depend on women for the responsibility of taking a pill? Most women I know can't be bothered to take a vitamin every day, much less a pill that will prevent an "unwanted" pregnancy....
In any case, I went wayyyyyyyyyy off topic and I'm sorry...not unloading on you, just expanding on my own thoughts in answer to your excellent question...

AARRRGH

Even mildly suggesting this guy considers a vasectomy is completely OTT! He's just highly paranoid. He has nothing to worry about. Let's not fill his head with more food for thought!

OP: Stop worrying. Just relax. Put on your condoms. Everything will be fine. You're been totally paranoid. Stop beating yourself up. Sex is natural and fun. You are turning it into something guilty for yourself. Just chill...

angeldelight

Aislinn wrote:

Agreed, however, if a person does not want children, why wait or depend on women to carry the burden of the decision? Many men out there (including those that are younger) do not want kids.

I appreciate that, but most doctors would be against recommending this to a younger man purely because it is a situation many people change their minds about! Yes a guy who is in his early 20s may not want children now, nor envisage himself ever wanting them but then again who's to know that maybe in 10 years time he'll have settled down with someone, see friends with children and change his mind.... thats allowed too!

Why should women continue to put all sorts of chemicals in their bodies simply because the men they are sleeping with are too immature to deal with pregnancy?

That's making a lot of assumptions.... Most women who do use a hormonal form of contraception don't want to get pregnant themselves, you seem to suggest that if all men were "mature" about pregnancy, women wouldn't try to prevent it?? What about reasons they may have themselves?

Sorry, I went off topic too, that post just really irritated me

Aislinn

angeldelight wrote:

I appreciate that, but most doctors would be against recommending this to a younger man purely because it is a situation many people change their minds about! Yes a guy who is in his early 20s may not want children now, nor envisage himself ever wanting them but then again who's to know that maybe in 10 years time he'll have settled down with someone, see friends with children and change his mind.... thats allowed too!

You and I are saying the same thing here...I agree! That's why a reversible vasectomy is not a bad option for a guy these days...You're right! People do change their minds...and the good news is, now they can!

That's making a lot of assumptions.... Most women who do use a hormonal form of contraception don't want to get pregnant themselves, you seem to suggest that if all men were "mature" about pregnancy, women wouldn't try to prevent it?? What about reasons they may have themselves?

Sorry, I went off topic too, that post just really irritated me

I am sorry I even brought it up! LOL...didn't mean to irritate you; was only speaking what was on my mind...insofar as this goes, I agree completely with you...women DO make their own decisions about this and I completely agree...I did not intend to imply that they wouldn't try to prevent pregnancy, etc....that is of course, every woman's choice and privilege. I happen to think that putting chemicals in our bodies just so that some guy can have sex with us without "worrying", is rather stupid...that's my opinion... I was only speaking to the assumption in today's culture that assumes that women should bear all the responsibility for preventing pregnancy. Guys who wear condoms and/or choose a vasectomy are HEROES in my opinion...that was my only point...sorry to have irritated you or anyone else...

lazylad

TO original poster I hope you enjoyed it

embee

Dude, if her periods due tomorrow, she would have ovulated about 2 weeks ago. It would take a super-ovum AND a super-sperm and some major defying of the odds for her to be pregnant. Add the fact that ye at least used a condom into the mix and I would safely say you can relax.

embee

Aislinn wrote:

You and I are saying the same thing here...I agree! That's why a reversible vasectomy is not a bad option for a guy these days...You're right! People do change their minds...and the good news is, now they can!

Just off-topic for a second....

This is just as ridiculous as your suggestion that the OP have a vasectomy.
Why in the name of sanity would anyone have a vasectomy always with the notion "Well, I can always have it reversed". You are adverse to the idea of people taking chemicals as contraception, but surgery is okay? Come on. You make it sound like a vasectomy reversal is simple and works in every case. That is simply not true. A vasectomy reversal procedure has no guarantee of working, and generally speaking is a lot more complex than the original procedure. You shouldn't bandy about comments like "oh! Have a vasectomy, you'll be a hero!" (paraphrasing, but you get the point) because you make it sound like something easy to have reversed that won't carry any risk, which isnt true either.

_Turismo4

worried2 wrote:

Hi, my girlfriend and I had sex today for the first time(with a condom), and I fear her getting pregnant. She says that its natural to worry on the the first time, and I believe her, but I think I worry too much. Her period is due tomorrow, and that is one of the reasons we chose to do it today. I have been worried that her period will not come, and the thought seems not to be able to leave my head. We checked the condom after,poured water into it, and it hadn't ripped, but I am still unsettled. Please help.

You’ll be fine, I wouldn’t worry about it, just enjoy the act of making love. It sounds like your both responsible people, so suggest to her about going on the injection.

Rantorama

Can I just add that reading some of you're other posts you see to be of a worrier by nature.
Try to keep in check the times that you find yourself going to obsess mode and know that you're worries are based more on the worst case senarniro thats going on in you're mind rather than the real things going on around you.

Don't dwell too much on you're problems and let them get out of proportion.

Beruthiel

worried2 wrote:

Hi, my girlfriend and I had sex today for the first time(with a condom), and I fear her getting pregnant.

is your g/f on the pill?
if not, might I suggest that she gets on it before you have sex again

as for the rest of you

Aislinn
what are you doing suggesting a vasectomy?!
no surgeon in his right mind will give anyone something so permanent until at least the age of 30, not to mention a ridiculously ott piece of advice for this situation.
next time, think before you post in this forum please.

sarge
it doesn't matter if it's a troll, it's something that worries many people so no harm having a thread about it.