Ex with House Mate

Norinoco

Really should do this anonymously but anyway!

My relationship background!!:
Started going out 2 years ago.
Lived together for 1 and a half years in Dublin.
Have known each other for 6 years.
Broke up with each others boyfriend ( of 2 years)/girlfriend (of 5 years) to be together.

We broke up, as he was taking me for granted, treating me like of the girls we lived with.
Said that being single for a while would do us the world of good, and in 3 weeks we are heading to Thailand together and we would see what happened there.

He moved out a couple of weeks ago, to give both of us some space.

During the break-up, I said that I would seriously consider getting back together in the future. I said that I would not get back with him until i was certain that I wanted it. He kept pressuring me for an answer, so last Monday out of frustration I said I didn’t want to get back together.

Thursday night, he kissed one of the girls I live with, who has lived with us for the year and a half we were living in Dublin together. A good friend.

We were all going to electric picnic at the weekend; i decided to wait until Saturday morning to go down.
They were together again Friday night in the campsite.

Went down Saturday, had a great day hanging out with him.
Sunday morning I woke up before him (we shared a tent) - and read his text messages (I know I was in the wrong doing this but i just had a feeling there was something going one)
This is how I found out they were meeting each other - they didn’t even have the decency to tell me themselves. All of her friends know and none of them said a thing.

I confronted him and he told me that they were meeting each other.
I was completely devastated (I still am).
He has told me that they wouldn’t have been together if I had said that we would get back together.

It was only 4 days after we broke up, that they were together.

I really don’t know that to do now.

I still live with the girl, now seeing the guy i love, and have done so for 2 years.
I still have a holiday booked for 3 weeks time.

Should I still travel with him to Thailand?
Should I move out? Should I ask her to move out?
Should I just cut both of them out of my life?
Will I just continue on to australia from thailand and meet up with all my real friends? - there is nothing stopping me now.

Sorry for the length of this post! Any advise will be really appreciated

Beruthiel

Norinoco wrote:

It was only 4 days after we broke up, that they were together.

there's your answer right there
he really must have been gutted to wait all of four days before finding himself someone else :rolleyes:
find yourself somewhere else to live and move out, I wouldn't waste another second thinking about him, he certainly didn't waste any on you

conor-mr2

Norinoco wrote:

Really should do this anonymously but anyway!


Thursday night, he kissed one of the girls I live with, who has lived with us for the year and a half we were living in Dublin together. A good friend.

Agree with Beruthiel!

A good friend you say? I think not.

Id get out of that house and off somewhere else.
To be honest I dont think Id be travelling anywhere with that chap.
If you get the opportunity Id head to australia and meet up with as you say, your real friends.

Good luck

ShiverinEskimo

Aye, get away from them - out of sight out of mind. And go to thailand, enjoy it and go on to Oz, new life, new people, be yourself and not have to face that ****e on a day to day basis..and whatever you do don't have a go at either - it'll kill them more if you say nothing - trust me on this one..he's probably only doing it to make you jealous and so i'd almost guarantee they'll stop seeing each other as soon as he realises it hasn't worked - in fact, backfired.

SparkyLarks

you told him you wouldn't get back together.
He moved on. nothing wrong with that at all.

It might just be his way of getting over you.

Or he might really like this other girl.

The question you have to ask is. Do you want him back??
If you do then tell him.

If not then why cut them out of your life?
You say they are both friends be happy for them.

If you want to go to Oz do. a fresh start might be good.

narommy

Norinoco wrote:

We broke up, as he was taking me for granted, treating me like of the girls we lived with.

Said that being single for a while would do us the world of good, and in 3 weeks we are heading to Thailand together and we would see what happened there.

He moved out a couple of weeks ago, to give both of us some space.

During the break-up, I said that I would seriously consider getting back together in the future. I said that I would not get back with him until i was certain that I wanted it. He kept pressuring me for an answer, so last

Monday out of frustration I said I didn’t want to get back together.

i decided to wait until Saturday morning to go down.
They were together again Friday night in the campsite.

He has told me that they wouldn’t have been together if I had said that we would get back together.

Should I still travel with him to Thailand?

Really, What did you expect??? You initiated it.

You probably made his life fairly miserably in the run up to your break because you resented his treatment of you

Where do women get off?? Messing guys around and then getting pist with the consequences? If it's good enough to break up with for a few weeks then why not for good.

In saying that you could hope that he is getting back at you and now would be a good time to grovel and hopefully go to Thailand together. Either that or move on

narommy

Beruthiel wrote:

there's your answer right there
he really must have been gutted to wait all of four days before finding himself someone else :rolleyes:
find yourself somewhere else to live and move out, I wouldn't waste another second thinking about him, he certainly didn't waste any on you

He was probably getting even.

Can you imagine all the grief he was getting in the run up to the split?

And having a nice girl who seemed mellow-er and a lot less hassel in the background (probably sympathising with him for his troubles)? Something had to happen.

And then to have a break where he could legally try out the other girl. wow

The most surprising thing was that he tried to get back with her after she announced they were on a break

Norinoco

narommy wrote:

Really, What did you expect??? You initiated it.

I expected him to have a bit more respect for me and not start meeting the girl i ( and he) lived with.

I expected him to realise that this would hurt me.

The break up was to give us time to think - to get to know each other again and start having fun together again.

Norinoco

narommy wrote:

He was probably getting even.

Can you imagine all the grief he was getting in the run up to the split?

And having a nice girl who seemed mellow-er and a lot less hassel in the background (probably sympathising with him for his troubles)? Something had to happen.

And then to have a break where he could legally try out the other girl. wow

The most surprising thing was that he tried to get back with her after she announced they were on a break

The break up wasnt exactly a picnic for me either - so getting even is not a reasonable answer.

Maybe i expected too much from him.

Boston

So you and him where separated for awhile. Very much so in a grey area. Then you say to him you don't want to ever get back with him(which you obvious did) and he goes off with someone else. I fail to see how this is any of this fault. He's absolutely right about it being yours. IF you had been upfront baout your feeling he wouldn't have messed around. Also it was none of your business if they where going out. It was early days and I'm not surprised he didn't tell you.

narommy

Norinoco wrote:

I expected him to realise that this would hurt me.
QUOTE]

I presume that he did realise this and may have being doing this to jerk you into your senses.

Breaks are a bad idea. Either work things out in you relationship or they won't work out.

How could you have a break from somebody in the same house?

Again you told him to F**k off after he appears to have made efforts to get back together.

When most guys get a break they take advantage of it. He waited to weeks and only seems to have acted when you gave him the final release.

Norinoco

Well, in fairness - I wanted an impartial view on the whole situation and Im getting it.

I still dont condone what he has done, but I do understand that I could have stopped it.

Maybe Im the one to blame for this mess.

SparkyLarks

So you broke up with him and you might want to get back with him in the future but while you broken up and deciding he's can't kiss other girls?

you've broken up. He can do what he want's
.you either are in a committed relatinship or your not. There is no half measures. If you can;t respect him enough that you expect him to wait till you've decided what you want why should he respect you?

Is there a list of girls you don;t want him to se while your deciding?? or is it any girl? How long should he wait, 1 week a month a day. What if you break up and he meats his soulmate??

And he probably did know that it would hurt you. You said that you wouldn;t be getting back together so in his eyes, You just dumped him, probably broke his heart, he probably still loves you but hates you and himself for it.

How can a break up help you get to know each other again?? If you want to see if you can get on without each other then it has to complete and for more than 3 weeks.

Myself and my GF had a break for a month, got back together and things weren't better. We stayed together and started working them out and things got better.

If you want a break go to Oz and see him when he comes back things might be better. a 3 week break where your sharing a tent isn;t a break. that's not having sex. you haven't stopped your relationship you've just changed the boundries.

If you want to stay with him tell him what you want. You want him to be more spontaneous/responsible/whatever. and he does the same and ye work on it.

So do you still love him, or are you just pissed that he's moved on?

narommy

Norinoco wrote:

The break up wasnt exactly a picnic for me either

So then maybe you are better off and the relationship was on the rocks anyways and having a break was the right decision.

The outcome is good for both of you. You get shocked into moving on.

Sleipnir

YOU WERE ON A BREAK!

Sorry, had to say that.

So, you dumped him. He kept on at you to take him back. You said "no, we're not getting back together"
Now he's seeing someone else?

So you got what you wanted. Or, more specifically, you got what you told him you wanted.

Norinoco

SparkyLarks wrote:

So do you still love him, or are you just pissed that he's moved on?

I still love him, but after being with the girl i live with - getting back together is no longer an option.
Its really time to move on.

Im just hurt and disappointed. Maybe i didnt expect him to move on that quickly.

SparkyLarks

Norinoco wrote:

Well, in fairness - I wanted an impartial view on the whole situation and Im getting it.

I still dont condone what he has done, but I do understand that I could have stopped it.

Maybe Im the one to blame for this mess.

Don't blame youself.
Break-up's are never 1 persons fault. They rarely happen over 1 thing either. it's all the little things that build up that cause breakup's.

He shouldn;t have preassurised you when you were trying to work things out, but similarly you shouldn;t have told him that you wen't going to get back together.

But it's not the people here that you need to talk to.
Talk to him and work things out.

either you work it out or you get closure and can still be friends.

narommy

Sorry,
I misread
I thought that you said that the time running up to the break wasn't a picnic

narommy

Norinoco wrote:

I still love him

This is the issue.

Regardless of all other issues (including housemate) you need to have a chat and either get back together or get closure.

If you don't it will bug you in 10 years time

I think it was a pity because it sounds like ye had somrhin going on. My wife did the dirt once (before we were married and not going out for long) but we sorted it and moved on. It was hard at the time but I got over it and things worked out.

narommy

SparkyLarks wrote:

Don't blame youself.
Break-up's are never 1 persons fault. They rarely happen over 1 thing either. it's all the little things that build up that cause breakup's.

He shouldn;t have preassurised you when you were trying to work things out, but similarly you shouldn;t have told him that you wen't going to get back together.

But it's not the people here that you need to talk to.
Talk to him and work things out.

either you work it out or you get closure and can still be friends.

Have to go but this post is good. Pity rep points is gone

LegacyUser

sounds like an awful situation to be in.

i'd say go to thailand, on your own if you have to, you might be able to transfer the ticket, get a buddy to go, i would, but am seeing somonw

move out too, if it's serious with the x and the housmate, he'll be around, worse still, going at it, in the same house!

fcuk that 5hit, time to move on.

best of luck.

GreenHell

Norinoco wrote:

Will I just continue on to australia from thailand and meet up with all my real friends? - there is nothing stopping me now.

Sounds good.

Norinoco

SparkyLarks wrote:

But it's not the people here that you need to talk to.
Talk to him and work things out.

either you work it out or you get closure and can still be friends.

We have tried talking about it, but for me, feelings are still very raw. I just end up abusing him!

If it was a stranger he was with, then I wouldnt have as vivid a picture of them together.

dramaqueen

Oh my God, it's certainly strange to see the male point of view on this one!
Scary...
From the female perspective, I totally understand that you feel betrayed and hurt by both him and your friend.
You broke up with him and you were suffering and I think apart of you kind of expected him to be heartbroken. It's hurts the pride to think that he moved on so quickly.
In reality all he did was move on physically, not emotionally. So that should give you some comfort.
If it was another girl, I don't think it would have hurt as much. The fact is that he targeted a girl close to you, probably because he knew, on some level, it would hurt even more and he wanted to get even.
Now you are left wondering if he fancied her all the time and maybe there is a part of you thinking that maybe something was going on before you broke up.
It all sounds to me that he got what he wanted - you hurting.
It's fairly normal when you break up with somebody to rebound fairly quickly. We don't want to face our hurt so we try to ignore it by grabbing the first available body. I think he behaved like most people do. It would be nice to think that he might have the maturity to wait and to actually allow himself the time he needed to get over you, but that is often wishful thinking!
In my opinion the real crime here was committed by your "FRIEND".
Whatever about him, she owed you her loyalty. You didn't do anything to hurt her so she has no excuse. Cut your losses and move.
I wouldn't go on holidays with him, I would exchange the ticket for a direct flight to Oz and get a few extra weeks there. Come back refreshed and ready to start over.
Your relationship was rocky to start with. It's unlikely that it would ever survive this much hurt. You broke up with him for a reason and that reason still stands, no matter what has gone on recently. It is awful that what once was a really important relationship in your life has fallen apart so sourly, but you can't have expected that it would be plain sailing.

narommy

Norinoco wrote:

We have tried talking about it, but for me, feelings are still very raw. I just end up abusing him!

That ye talked about it is a good thing.

How did it turn abusive? How did the conversation go.

Norinoco

dramaqueen wrote:

Now you are left wondering if he fancied her all the time and maybe there is a part of you thinking that maybe something was going on before you broke up.

You must be psychic!

dramaqueen wrote:

In my opinion the real crime here was committed by your "FRIEND".

I spoke to her about this also.
I basically explained to her that no friend of mine would ever do this and that in the future, I hope that no friend of her would ever do this.

They thing that kills me is that through out my relationship with himself, I confided in her about our up and downs.
Asked her for occational advise.

I just feel really betrayed - by both of them.

Sherifu

LiouVille wrote:

So you and him where separated for awhile. Very much so in a grey area. Then you say to him you don't want to ever get back with him(which you obvious did) and he goes off with someone else. I fail to see how this is any of this fault. He's absolutely right about it being yours. IF you had been upfront baout your feeling he wouldn't have messed around. Also it was none of your business if they where going out. It was early days and I'm not surprised he didn't tell you.

I agree with most of this tbh.
He could have let the dust settle a bit before going after your housemate,
but in fairness he's done nothing wrong as far as i can see.
Best to cut your losses and walk away unless you think he's 'the one'....

Norinoco

narommy wrote:

That ye talked about it is a good thing.

How did it turn abusive? How did the conversation go.

Not really abusive, but argumentative.
It has to do with him not seeing it from my point of view and me not seeing it from his point of view!

But after the comments coming back from rkm, Sleipnir and LiouVille, I should really stand back and have a look at it from both sides more.

Farls

I agree with LiouVille on this also.

Women....stop with the mind games!

lads need to be told things straight out, if you think theres a chance then for god sakes say it! You said there was no chance, he went with another girl...it is your own fault.

In all fairness to him though picking your friend was a raw deal. I'd say he done it just to hurt you and have you feel like he does without you because when he was pestering you to get back you probably came across to him as if you didnt care/love him anymore. As for this going on before the break up, I seriously doubt it...he probably fancied her a bit and even thought about having her (we all do it about our g/f's friends) but never done anything about it and would never off only for you dumped him and broke his heart.

Best thing you can do now is get rid of that friend...she is the real villain. And meet up with him in a neutral quiet place for a long hard conversation about whats going to happen in the future.

Farlz

ps. I may come across as really against you here but I know what your feeling and its the worst ever, there is no fix for it

U$ername

Just a quick question did your "friend" know you two had broken up?...And if so who told her?

Norinoco

U$ername wrote:

Just a quick question did your "friend" know you two had broken up?...And if so who told her?

Yep, she did. She lives with me so she would have known from being around the house.

Regardless of her knowing or not, does it make it ok to be with my ex-boyfriend of 4 days?

the_syco

Does it make it right regardless of her knowing or not?

If she knew, its open game. If she didn't know, she's not much of a friend.

Norinoco

the_syco wrote:

If she knew, its open game. If she didn't know, she's not much of a friend.

In my book,it's not open game when it is a friend and house mates ex.

I hope a friend of yours never does this to you.

I wouldnt wish this mess on an enemy.

Kell

Beruthiel wrote:

there's your answer right there
he really must have been gutted to wait all of four days before finding himself someone else :rolleyes:
find yourself somewhere else to live and move out, I wouldn't waste another second thinking about him, he certainly didn't waste any on you

You've changed your tune! I thought your answer to relationship breakups was to get under someone asap?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Have to say though OP, you were split up. You had no right to expect him to treat you in any given way whatsoever. Had you not had expectations of him, maybe you wouldnt be hurt so much.

So what if your housemate got her jollies with him. They are both adults I assume and I doubt very much if they went out to deliberately hurt you*.

As to whether to go holidaying? Decide if you can stick him on the trip or not. Simple. If you cant, go. If you cant, dont.

K-

*If it turns out they did, you are hereby authorised to go psycho on their ásses. Preferabley with a large chef's knife. Guns for show, knives for a pro and all that.

Beruthiel

the_syco wrote:

If she knew, its open game..

completely disagree
what real friend would add to your pain by causing more?

Beruthiel

Kell wrote:

You've changed your tune! I thought your answer to relationship breakups was to get under someone asap?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

that didn't include doing your best mate in the house you all live in!!! :eek:

Chavster

Farls wrote:

lads need to be told things straight out

This is perhaps the most important thing that's been said here! We are simple creatures and like to live in a black & white world. What you think of as blatantly obvious may actually be so subtle we fail to see it at all

After hearing that there was no chance of getting back with you he moved on. Admittedly it was crappy that he went off with one of your close friends. What does she have to say about the whole thing?

Norinoco

Chavster wrote:

What does she have to say about the whole thing?

She is not saying much. She appologied and said she didnt mean for it to happen but that doesnt really mean anything to me.
If she was really sorry, and didnt mean it, then she would not be still texting/calling/meeting up with him every chance she can get.

Everytime I see her, i want to pick up the nearest chair and beat her with it!!

Farls

Have to say that the whole going with a friend of your ex's is completely out of the question and IMO just about the lowest thing you can do...only if you want to cause real pain to your ex would you do this. And in the first few days/weeks after a break up you might want to do this...but it will normally be regretted.

A lad I live with went through this only worse...he was living with a girl for 3 years, was about to propose to her but she dumped him...kicked him out and moved his "best friend" in then. He went through months of hell there his world ended. But he got them back...he rode all her friends and his "best friends" ex also. In my book this man is a legend. He's now happy again and living life to the max 6 months later...although he says the hurt will never go away, he still lies awake at night thinking of her etc.

Norinoco

Farls wrote:

Have to say that the whole going with a friend of your ex's is completely out of the question and IMO just about the lowest thing you can do...only if you want to cause real pain to your ex would you do this. And in the first few days/weeks after a break up you might want to do this...but it will normally be regretted.

A lad I live with went through this only worse...he was living with a girl for 3 years, was about to propose to her but she dumped him...kicked him out and moved his "best friend" in then. He went through months of hell there his world ended. But he got them back...he rode all her friends and his "best friends" ex also. In my book this man is a legend. He's now happy again and living life to the max 6 months later...although he says the hurt will never go away, he still lies awake at night thinking of her etc.

Jesus - what a b*tch. Poor fecker!
Well i suppose I cant say my situation is that bad.

Have arranged to meet with with the ex tonight and have a civil conversation and sort out Thailand and the rest.
Not sure yet what to do with the b*tch I live with, but im sure she will get what she deserves! Im a firm believer in what goes around comes around.

Farls

Before you meet up sort out what all you want to know in your head...have your questions ready for him. Also to help sort your head out ask him questions about your friend...how it happened etc, then ask her the same questions and see if stories match or what...it should help you get to the bottom of it.

My advice is to put an end to it tonight...no holiday together, no nothing, say your farewells. Keep in contact then thru email/txt maybe and if somewhere down the line you's still feel love for each other then maybe chance it.

But at the moment its a no-no...both your heads will be all over the place feelings will be running high and its no way to start a fresh in a relationship.

ven0m

Beruthiel wrote:

there's your answer right there
he really must have been gutted to wait all of four days before finding himself someone else :rolleyes:
find yourself somewhere else to live and move out, I wouldn't waste another second thinking about him, he certainly didn't waste any on you

Wouldn't u normally say to someone who had a bad break up to get under someone else to get over them???? Isn't this what the guy has done????


::: ven0mous :::

dramaqueen

If you feel like hitting her with a chair that tell her.
Imagine how she will feel if when she walks into a room you stand up and say, "Right I'm off, if I spend as much as one minute in your company I might smack you!"
She doesn't deserve for you to let her off lightly.
(I am not suggesting that you actually hit her, just make her totally understand how angry you are)
Everyone knows the friendship rules. You never go near your friends turf, even if it is an ex. She crossed the line.
With regards to whether he fancied her all along, probably not. He probably never really thought of her as anything other than your friend and housemate. It probably wasn't until the opportunity came up that he saw her as anything else.
Probably.
But you'll never know so don't stress out about it.

Norinoco

dramaqueen wrote:

If you feel like that tell her.
Imagine how she will feel if when she walks into a room you stand up and say, "Right I'm off, if I spend as much as one minute in your company I might smack you!"
She doesn't deserve for you to let her off lightly.
(I am not suggesting that you actually hit her, just make her totally understand how angry you are)

Believe it or not, this will not be the route im going to take with her.
If I start flying off the handle with her, it will only make living in the house hell for the other 2 girls I live with - whom are fantastic friends.
It really isn't in my personality to be confrontational.

All day yesterday I was civil to her, then in the evening i called in to her room for a chat about. Told her how much she has hurt me, and how no one would do this to a real friend.
Letting her know how I felt in a civil manner probably got to her more than If i started throwing things at her.

Norinoco

Farls wrote:

Before you meet up sort out what all you want to know in your head...have your questions ready for him. Also to help sort your head out ask him questions about your friend...how it happened etc, then ask her the same questions and see if stories match or what...it should help you get to the bottom of it.

My advice is to put an end to it tonight...no holiday together, no nothing, say your farewells. Keep in contact then thru email/txt maybe and if somewhere down the line you's still feel love for each other then maybe chance it.

But at the moment its a no-no...both your heads will be all over the place feelings will be running high and its no way to start a fresh in a relationship.

Unfortunatly, i know all the ins and outs of how if happened, when it happened and where it happened!

You are right about it being no way to start in to fresh relationship.
I think the ship has sailed on us getting back together.

All I want now, is to get rid of this hurt feeling that it constantly there.
And making peace with him might be the way to do it.

LegacyUser

So he spends Friday night with her, then you arrive Saturday and spend the night, im assuming alone with him in one tent. Where was this girl he is supposed to be now seeing?? Does she tolerate his spending the night with his now Ex?

Seems to me like he is using her to get at you and she is putting up with.

Forget about him, he probably knows that he is getting to you and you need to learn your lesson too, you cannot play with peoples emotions and expect them to be there for you when you arent feeling so harassed

annR

Couple breaks up because the girl feels taken for granted, guy pressures her for a decision, she makes it and he's with someone else 2 seconds later . . . . . .I hate to say it but to me it looks like he wanted out.

He is entitled to want out and to move on etc, but I think both of them have totally walked on your feelings. All's fair in love and war is the tone of some of the posts so far, but if that's the case I wouldn't feel that there was much room for friendship with either of them.

Head off to Thailand *without him*, I wouldn't bother with trying to be friends etc, go on to Australia and have a great time.

the_syco

Beruthiel wrote:

completely disagree
what real friend would add to your pain by causing more?

I've seen it happen to a few people I know, and this was the excuse given.

And no, my mates don't do this.

/edit

Don't goto Thailand with them. Goto a backpackers hostel, and go with a group there. Many backpackers go this way if they're going alone. If they (your ex+ yuor "friend") have so little regard for your feelings here, in Thailand it won't be any better, so it may work out better i you backpack with a group out for fun (rather than a daily reminder of your breakup).

Or sell the tickets, and go on a weekend away to Paris, or something, for a laugh.

Norinoco

the_syco wrote:

Don't goto Thailand with them.

Just to let you know, it is only Himself and I going on the holiday, I was meant to be our first holiday together!

There is the option of Australia.

2 of my closest friends will be in Bangkok the same day as i arrive and they are going travelling for 5 weeks in Asia, then heading on to Australia for the year.

Origionally i was meant to go with them, but because himself wouldnt go and I didnt want to leave him, I booked the month in thailand to try and get the travel bug out of my system.

There is really nothing stopping me:
i have the flights over to aisa, I have the vaccines, I have the travel insurance, Ihave plenty of money to get me though the year, a job i can leave with 1 weeks notice(still in probation) and no one really to stay in ireland for (except family, which will be fine)

I would be leaving an excellent job - which is very unlikely i would get back in to.

WhiteWashMan

hes a free agent, and he is free to do what he wants.

its not pleasant for you, but i dont think he did it just to be spiteful, but rather because he is probably an emotional wreck, and people do stupid things when they are in that state.

at the moment, what he does with your house mate is none of your business, but if you plan on going on holiday, then i would have it out with him, clear the air completely and utterly, otherwise, its just going to be a complete waste of money.

as for the house mate, if youa re upset at her, then tell her. she can either talk to you, or tell you to mind your own business (which she would be entirely at liberty to do in my opinion)

the_syco

Norinoco wrote:

I would be leaving an excellent job - which is very unlikely i would get back in to.

Don't leave it because of him/her. You may regret it in time to come.

Best to clear the air with him, go around with your mates for a bit, and then come back to the job. It may seem like a good idea to feck all into the bin, but if the only reason is him, don't.

Chin up, enjoy the short vacation, and then get back to the job. As for the year traveling: alot of jobs allow a year off, so you may get to do it later on.