Daddyitis!

milltown

Our 18 month old boy has developed a severe case of Daddyitis in the last few weeks. Every chance he gets he is over to me giving me hugs, resting his head in my lap, wanting to be picked up by me etc. all at the expense of poor mummy, who hardly gets a look in lately. The problem is made worse by the fact that I work shifts. When I am heading out to work a night shift he is nearly inconsolable and no amount of affection from my wife is any good. He wriggles and kicks to get out of her arms and tries to follow me. Even when I'm not going anywhere, just leaving the room to do something, he'll start whinging thinking that I'm going off without him.

We have just moved house so that would have been stressful enough without this new stage in his development. Plus, his back teeth are coming up so that probably makes everything ten times worse for him (and us!).

I really feel terrible for my wife over this. She is really down in the dumps after the stress of the move and now getting little or no affection from the baby she brought into the world is really bringing her down.

Can anybody offer any advice on how to either change his behaviour or just deal with it on our own level? Is it likely to be just a phase with him and, if so, for how long? Can I expect to be the spare part in the family at some point in the future when he swaps sides?

Thanks in advance!

holly_johnson

From my experience it is just a phase, and most definitely you can expect to become "the enemy" at some stage in the future. my 4 year old is going through her third or so bout of this one sideness. She won't do anything her daddy asks, to the point of ignoring him and clinging to me. You wouldn't believe the rows it causes at home!

All part of the joys of parenting I'm afraid! It will get better, but give him a few weeks, he's had a lot of upheaval recently with the house move. I find that my daughter becomes really clingy to me when any changes happen, I reckon this bout is caused by the start of school. Looks like he clings to you during stressful periods instead of your wife. Just deep breaths and reassure your wife that it is nothing she has done wrong.

Talliesin

The upheaval of the move is probably exasperating what is a common enough phase for young children.

Your son wouldn't have experienced the same stress you did, but did lose the familiarity of his environment.

Try to make sure he gets a good amount of quality time with you, especially when the shifts you are working aren't so great, and then have your partner join in with the games, reading, etc. so he gets used to thinking of "daddy time" as not mutually exclusive with "mummy time".

Shabadu

We go through the same thing with our toddler. He's in "Mummy-Phase" at the mo. The only advice I can give is to always present a united front with your partner. He'll eventually realise that playing the two of you off against each other won't work. He may not be doing that now, but he will learn. Be extra affectionate with your wife, she probably needs it at the moment. Good Luck!