Cheating Dad

LegacyUser

Hey I think i just need to get this off my chest.

I've always had a feeling that my dad was cheating on my mam. They don't ever get on, never go out together etc, he goes away for about a month every year with the lads.

Anyway he's started to change lately, he's been buying brand name underwear, new phones new car etc. My mam told me that she thought he was cheating because she seen messages on his phone saying "hey babe" etc.

My mam won't leave him, or just can't, she'll be broke without him. Being honest he's pretty well off himself so we kind of need him around.

I never really let it bother me because I had always thought this all along.

However...Its begining to get out of control. I was in work, so was my mam and my 10 year old sister was playing out on the road with my dad in the house. My dad told my sister he'd be back in half an hour that he had to go do "a job" that myself or my mam would be home soon but that he wouldnt be long anyway. I didn't know about this and i went for a few drinks after work as did my mam. My mam came home at about 11 ish and my sister was out on the road still - no sign of my dad anywhere.. He came home at 7 the next mornin.. so much for being gone for half an hour.

The other day i was heading to town and he was heading to the local so we got a babysitter. I came home at about 4 to find that the car was gone, as was the babysitter and my sister home alone. I rang him and asked him where he was. I don't know how to explain it but it just didn't seem like i was talking to him on the phone. He was so different. He told me he was in another pub close to us and then hung up. I knew he wasnt in the pub because it was way to quite, and it was 4 in the mornin! I rang the pub anyway and said that there was a family emergency that i needed to speak to him. They said he hadn't been there all night. I haven't really been talking to him since.

I can't believe he'd put this woman before the safety of his own child.

He's constanly texting her like his bills are roughly about 600 a month. My mam is a total wreck because she says she still loves him.

We can't prove he's cheating but its pretty obvious. The messages are very disturbing.

I don't really know what i want to get from writing this, i think i just wanted to get it off my chest. I really have no idea what to do.

galwaydude18

ya need to just ask him straight out! Tell him how you are feeling! God thats a lot of stuff to take in! I can not believe his risked his own daughters life like that! Sorry to sound harsh but he doesn't deserve ye if he can risk you sisters life like that!

Boston

A divorce would seem to be the best thing all round. Money wise your mother and sister should be still well looked after, maybe better then they currently are. What if your ten year old had been taken off the streets by some weirdo? What if a fire broke out or something while she was home alone. It's not just bad parenting its neglect. You really need to stress to your mother these things. I'm sure she loves you and your sister more then him. Does she really want her daughter growing up thinking this is how men treat women. Even you have this mentallity that it is "ok somehow".

shellby

thats a horrible situation to be in, somebody has to speak to him about his rsponsibilities as a father but i think it should be your mam in the meantime is there anyone that ou can confide in about the entire situation it seems an awful lot to take on and not be able to talk about

LegacyUser

I can't speak to anyone really.

I gave out to my dad sayin that he should take some responsibilty for his own child and he told me to shut up and that if i cared so much i should have been at home.

There's no talking to him. He said that if he's accused of cheating once more that he's leaving.

But like he has to be cheating, i can't think of any other explanation.

galwaydude18

If you have a boyfriend or one of your friends maybe you could confide in them as well as all of us here! They can be there to give you hugs etc. when you need them and keep you company when your feeling low! It's one awful situation to be in! Ur ma needs to confront him on this A.S.A.P.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

gom

LiouVille is correct. Your mother and the family will definitly be looked after very well if your mother seeks a divorce on the grounds of neglect of his children(especially your sister), neglect of your mother(if he is never around emotional neglect stands up in family courts) and even suspision of an affair is appeal grounds for a divorce.
Any father that can leave his 10 year old daughter on the street or disappear with the babysitter in the middle of the night is not just a bad father and husband but grossly irresponsible. Do you understand your father can be put away for Child Neglect on various grounds such as thee two you mentioned. He isn't just cheating on your mother. He is cheating on your sister and You.

SIt your mother down. I don't mean to jump to anything but something tells me that she may not want to accept the truth about what is really going on. Its the Irish way. Broken homes are still a taboo that many women are not willing to accept. Its difficult after a divorce but at least their is the potential for happeness and trust from there on.

If you mother isn't willing to listen I would take it apon yourself to confront your father about the neglect he is leeving on your sister and that it is the sort of thing people do time for.

I would go as far as to say he doesn't truely love your sister for the way he treats her. He is an evil man