Dempsey rules out carbon tax

democrates

RTE3 report:
Following yesterdays report by the ESRI that carbon taxes should be introduced to reduce pollution and avoid EU fines Minister noel Dempsey has catagorically ruled them out :
"What class of hippie gombeens are these fellas at all? Carbon tax would make the price of pollution higher just when the celtic tiger needs to fart. Those academics in their ivory towers don't realise that it's crucial for foreign investment that big business can come in here and pollute as much as it needs to. That's what makes us more investor friendly, and that competitive edge supports job creation. The tweed jacket brigade also forget the other benefits such as increased sales of pharmaceuticals to the poisoned people, more fun trying to catch the last few fish and playing spot the mutant, plus a unique opportunity to scientifically research just how much we can feck up the environment."

When asked what the government was doing to ensure energy supplies he said "We've a dirty big wire soldered onto Scotland so we can get d'electric supply from their nuclear plants, and going forward we've energy conservation measures to punish the people, stiff levies unless PAYE workers, the elderly and especially those freeloading cripples take the bus, use bicycles, grow hemp in their back gardens for tribunal barristers wigs, and generally live like hermits. Plus Biffo's up in the scrap yard building a heat exchanger to make watts out of hot air in the roof of the dail. Now get the feck off me 3 litre merc you pug ugly grenola-eatin' excuse for a gimp before I set sick boy O'Dea on you."

TerrorFirmer

ok fine, some of that was undisputably funny.

28064212

Best bits the start. You can just see a reporter posing a delicately phrased question and waiting for a response and being greeted by "What class of hippie gombeens are these fellas at all?". Nice use of RTE3 too. Afraid of libel?