Could I Be Pregnant please help?

LegacyUser

hi i really need advice,im a 27 year old virgin and have been seeing someone for 3 months who my parents have banned me from seeing as he is black... i do love this guy and he loves me.... and no im not mixing this up with lust,,, i have never been with someone who makes me so happy and someone that i can be myself with, he feels the same.... however 2 weeks things got heated when we met, we didnt have sex as I am a virgin but without going into full details we were noth naked and our "genitals" were against each other... he was wet so was I, my period is due but as yet no sign of it, I have had period like pains for the last 10 days and im terrified that i am not pregnant... could there be any chance that i am even though we didnt have full penetration? if i am im going to be murdered as i was brought up in a very strict catholic family and i still go to mass and am very holy myself so i know i would be bringin shame on myself and my family.. i just dont know what to do...any advice would be greatlyt appreciated...

Victor

One reason periods are late is because people are stressed.

GuestAfraid wrote:

hi i really need advice,im a 27 year old virgin and have been seeing someone for 3 months who my parents have banned me from seeing

You are old enough to make your own choices.

I have had period like pains for the last 10 days and im terrified that i am not [sic] pregnant

Go to pharmacy, get a preganancy test kit.

... could there be any chance that i am even though we didnt have full penetration?

Its possible, but I suspect the chance of getting pregnant like this is lower.

if i am im going to be murdered as i was brought up in a very strict catholic family

"Strict Catholic" families tend not to murder each other.

i still go to mass and am very holy myself

Modest, aren't you?

so i know i would be bringin shame on myself and my family

What shame? It isn't the 1950s anymore.

---

This thread may be a troll. I am not accussing the OP, but I have to say its a possibility. There is no need for people to chime in with "Troll!!! Lolz"

Timans

i think that you ^^ shouldn't have made light of what this person is saying...she is obviously very distressed. :mad:

Nevyn

National Pregnancy Help Line: 1850 49 50 51

http://www.ifpa.ie/about/centres.html

a hotline where you can talk to a pratice nurse who will deal with you
confidentally.

AARRRGH

It's extremely unlikely you're pregnant. Get a pregnancy test. Find out for certain.

Catsmokinpot

GuestAfraid wrote:

hi i really need advice,im a 27 year old virgin and have been seeing someone for 3 months who my parents have banned me from seeing as he is black... i do love this guy and he loves me.... and no im not mixing this up with lust,,, i have never been with someone who makes me so happy and someone that i can be myself with, he feels the same.... however 2 weeks things got heated when we met, we didnt have sex as I am a virgin but without going into full details we were noth naked and our "genitals" were against each other... he was wet so was I, my period is due but as yet no sign of it, I have had period like pains for the last 10 days and im terrified that i am not pregnant... could there be any chance that i am even though we didnt have full penetration? if i am im going to be murdered as i was brought up in a very strict catholic family and i still go to mass and am very holy myself so i know i would be bringin shame on myself and my family.. i just dont know what to do...any advice would be greatlyt appreciated...

Did you ever think that your parents might not know whats best for you? especially if they think that forbidding you to see a person, just because he is because he is black is a good thing....... thats kind of rediculous isnt it? some people would call that racist. and i wouldnt be listening to no racists, i know they're your parents but your 27 for christ sake, grow some balls and tell em where to shove it, if they really love you they'll want you to be happy. its very hard to tell your parents theyre wrong but it has to be done they have to be taught.

also i dont think your pregnant, you might be but i doubt it.

and i dont mean to sound crude, but next time let it go in a bit further, and i know you seem to be a devout catholic but if you dont want a child wear a condom next time. sex is a wonderful experience. get as much of it as you can with the one you love. if god is all knowing, all powerfull and all understanding, im sure he has better things to be worrying about than premarital sex.

really no offence meant so i hope you dont take any but you need a good kick up the arse girl.

WhiteWashMan

get a kit.
do a test.
put mind at ease.

Gazza22

It is unlikely that you are pregnant...this situation playing on your mind is probably stressing you out and delaying your period.

Get a test, everything will be fine. Just try and make personal decisions in future that concern you not your family

Hells_Belle

The question was "Could I be pregnant?" and the answer is, yes you could. You've had unprotected M/F genital contact. Regardless of where you might be in your cycle, you have a pregnancy risk.

You can take a pregnancy test the first day of a missed period as long as you use first morning urine. It will be 99% accurate. It doesn't matter what brand.

Just so you know, even if you manage to get away with it this time, you need to face up to the fact that even though you're not having intercourse, you are sexually active. You and your partner need to be appropriately protected against pregnancy and just as importantly, STIs.

Take the test, answer the wakeup call, and get some condoms. You might also consider a secondary form of birth control for backup.

usernameguest01

I find it very annoying that in this section of boards, people dont respect peoples religious beliefs. If a person is holy, these beliefs are deeply embedded in them.

:mad:

nesf

usernameguest01 wrote:

I find it very annoying that in this section of boards, people dont respect peoples religious beliefs. If a person is holy, these beliefs are deeply embedded in them.

:mad:

A person's religious beliefs are their own business. In general, practical advice will take this into account but is not bound to it.

If a sensible course of action is suggested that the OP is not comfortable with for religious grounds then she, at her age, should have enough maturity to acknowledge the advice is well meant but that she does not have to follow it.

There is nothing wrong with suggesting contraception to someone who may have religious objections to it. There is something wrong in forcing it on them, but suggesting it is not the same.

jazzbandit

Hi there,
I'm just posting to add my voice to some of the replies posted here. I think you should ignore the tool who posted the 1st reply. I would also say you need to get a test, which is pretty obvious at this stage. It;s also very true to say that a late period can be caused by stress (in fact this is a very common cause). From what you describe I think it's more likely that your late period isn't indicative of pregnancy. However, the test is the only way to tell.
I would also say that as long as you're having genital contact, you need to be thinking about using condoms, to protect against sexually transmitted infections. You dont need to have full intercourse to get one of these infections. You should also be aware that people from certain African and Indian countries (and I say this because you mention your boyfriend is black, although i maybe shouldnt even go here...) are at very high risk of carrying one or more of these infections. However, you should always take precautions regardless of the race of your partner.

Hope all goe well for you, please let us know.

usernameguest01

Catsmokinpot wrote:

Did you ever think that your parents might not know whats best for you? especially if they think that forbidding you to see a person, just because he is because he is black is a good thing....... thats kind of rediculous isnt it? some people would call that racist. and i wouldnt be listening to no racists, i know they're your parents but your 27 for christ sake, grow some balls and tell em where to shove it, if they really love you they'll want you to be happy. its very hard to tell your parents theyre wrong but it has to be done they have to be taught.

also i dont think your pregnant, you might be but i doubt it.

and i dont mean to sound crude, but next time let it go in a bit further, and i know you seem to be a devout catholic but if you dont want a child wear a condom next time. sex is a wonderful experience. get as much of it as you can with the one you love. if god is all knowing, all powerfull and all understanding, im sure he has better things to be worrying about than premarital sex.

really no offence meant so i hope you dont take any but you need a good kick up the arse girl.

I was referring to this post.

nobodythere

Take a pregnancy test, forget about your parents and what they allow you to do. You are not their slave. They do not own you. They do not have any rights to you. You do not owe them anything.

(Are you South African by any chance?....)
If they were so 'holy' and righteous they would treat everybody the same regardless of their colour of skin and if they don't like it... well, you know what - JESUS WAS BLACK. Shove that in their faces because their racism is UNBELIEVABLE, unacceptable, unchristian...

You sound severely distressed over this. Are you worried about what your parents would think? I know personally that the two people in the world who I don't want to disappoint are my parents. It's difficult to stand up to them and stand on your own two feet. Even when you're 27. Your parents sound really dogmatic and controlling, like they expect impeccable standards of you while themselves exhibiting racist and pompous attitudes. Your standards are your own and you will never agree with everything your parents teach you. They should not try to impose their values upon you and it actually sounds like it has traumatised you a lot growing up. Have you given much thought about whether YOU want to be pregnant and not them?

If you would like to talk about this through private messages i'm all ears, and a lot of people on boards are too.

Shabadu

Excuse me, but 'bringing shame' on your family by getting pregnant outside of wedlock?

They are shameful enough already if they're racist to the point of banning their 27 yr old daughter from seeing someone because of the colour of their skin. That is hardly a good holy Christian attitude, is it? Anyone who is racist is not 'holy' by any stretch of the imagination.

In other news, buy a pregnancy test, use a condom, move out of home, make your own path and opinions.

WhiteWashMan

ok folks, i personally couldnt give a crap if the person is involved with a one legged cross dressing nazi dwarf.

its not an issue here.

if you have problems with the race, colour or religion of the OP's squeeze, please take it up on the humanities forum.

the only way the poster is going to know if she is pregnant, is thorugh a pregnancy test (or lack of period and vast swelling over the next 4 months)

unless someone lese has anything sensible to add, then i think the consenses is that a pregnancy test is the way to go.

go on, spend 10 yoyos and put your mind at ease....

nobodythere

I'm interested to here back from the OP and what she thinks of the reaction to her post.

LegacyUser

Thank you for all your advice... EXCEPT THAT IS FOR VICTOR, you would have to be one of the most arrogant people I have ever come across...firstly I cannot control what my parents think or say about others, I was brought up in a strict catholic family and I have chosen to continue to be as much of a catholic as I can be.. I am in no way racist and I cannot help that my parents are...i believe i have found the person that is truly meant for me, we have discussed the possibility of me being pregnant and we are both petrified becos we know both our familiies are going to hit the roof. he is also not allowed to be with anyone of my religion.. his family insist he marry a hindu...we have only been together 3 months but in the last few days we have grown closer and he has even spoken of marraige once he is a citizen here which will be in 1 year. I dont want a baby outside of marraige and neither does he, we would both prefer to be married then have kids.... I would LIKE TO THANK GRASSHOPA for their kind words it means a lot to me to those of you who took myp ost serious and didnt take the piss out of me.. i am deeply distressed at the thoughts... we are buying a test tomorrow so i;ll let ye know.... thanks

nobodythere

Any time... Best of luck

vibe666

first off, go get the test. second off, fair play to you for being brave enough to see this guy despite (both) your parents, and good luck with gettign through to them that it's not the 1950's. parents can be one of the hardest things in the world to deal with sometimes, especially with things like this, and I wish you both all the luck in the world. remember we're here for more advise/opinions should you need to ask, or even just bounce around ideas for getting through to them.

shellby

obviously buying a test is the only way to find out - so do there are plenty of options available to you if you do happen to be pregnant and although in my opinion your parents seem somewhat misguided it is quite obvious that they do care about you and they mya surprise you by being supportive

i future at least carry condoms if you don't intend to use them then don't but if you are going to continue to have M/F genital contact then use them its better to be safe then sorry

Santa Claus

Slightly off topic, but is there also a risk of picking up an STI from semi-penetrative sex such as this ?

s4dd

Santa Claus wrote:

Slightly off topic, but is there also a risk of picking up an STI from semi-penetrative sex such as this ?

Again, chances are lessened, but any contact constitues a risk. As was said before "safe, not sorry"!

Civilian_Target

Yes. If your groinal area is touching their groinal area, some STDs can be transmitted.

dramaqueen

Look, not to rain on your religious parade, but if you are as religious as you say you are then what are you doing naked in a bed with him in the first place????
If you really want to be a devout Catholic and do the whole no sex thing then do it.
Otherwise, use condoms and maybe go on the pill.
What's the point in putting yourself in danger over a religious belief that you are only half committing to anyway?
With regards to the fact that he is Black, there are plenty of parents out there who would be against race-mixing. In many ways you can understand their worry as it is a tough road, both for yourselves and for your children, and this issue is a problem in all races, so it's not fair to call your parents racist.
But if you really want this, your parents will have to understand. If they love you, they will accept your decision.

LegacyUser

Thank you vibe... you are so kind... well am about to go and find out!!!! Thank you its great to know that there is some genuine caring people still out there and ye so make up for the ejjits.

LegacyUser

DRAMAQUEEN:- i am 27 and i have got this far in this day and age without going thw whole way so please dont patronise me.... i didnt come in here to get disrespected bcos of my religion or my beliefs and you and the likes just love to gloat....im not saying im holier than thou everyone can slip sometimes and i have great intentions im only human i like everyone else make mistakes

Nevyn

Slightly off topic, but is there also a risk of picking up an STI from semi-penetrative sex such as this ?

Many STI can be spread that way, some are curible some are not.

http://www.afraidtoask.com/std.html

RE*AC*TOR

anyway... without wanting to be too graphic. I'd say the chances of pregnancy are slim if the situation is as you described. However, obviously if he happened to ejaculate while your genitals were "against each other" - the chances are higher.

And its very true - periods can be late due to stress and worry. A vicious cycle of sorts.

Hells_Belle

RE*AC*TOR wrote:

anyway... without wanting to be too graphic. I'd say the chances of pregnancy are slim if the situation is as you described. However, obviously if he happened to ejaculate while your genitals were "against each other" - the chances are higher.

While the chances are higher if her partner ejaculated, there is still a pregnancy risk for unprotected M/F genital contact as pre-ejaculate that appears suring arousal contains sperm. Obviously we're not talking copious amounts of the stuff, but as more than one couple has learned, it only takes one. That's why contraception for people not engaging in full intercourse is still important (but oh so underused.) Barrier protection is even more important for protecting from STIs and STDs, which can still be passed if neither person has had any previous partners.

And its very true - periods can be late due to stress and worry. A vicious cycle of sorts.

Indeed. But it is worth noting that the time between ovulation and menstruation cannot be increased due to stress; stress can, however, delay ovulation. The body seeks optimal conditions for ovulation in order to aid conception, so if you're ill or stressed, ovulation may be put off - thus delaying your period.

The length of time between ovulation and menstruation varies tremendously from woman to woman, so there is no way of guessing if the OP's period is late due to stress around the time of ovulation. Unless a woman is charting, it is difficult to know when a particular woman routinely ovulates.

Hells_Belle

s4dd wrote:

Again, chances are lessened, but any contact constitues a risk. As was said before "safe, not sorry"!

They're not lessened for HPV or Herpes Simplex, both of which are very easily transmitted. That's why sexually active people need regular, annual sexual health screenings at a clinic. You can have both of these infections:

a) Without ever having had penatrative sex
b) Without having any noticable symptoms
c) Even though you used barrier protection like condoms, gloves or dental dams.

Harsh, but true.

BTW, a full health screen includes a blood test and an exam to take cultures. I've seen some people mention their screens were blood test only, and that really doesn't cut it. GPs are routinely lazy or misinformed about full screenings, so you do have to advocate for yourself - which can be hard.

dramaqueen

GuestAfraid wrote:

DRAMAQUEEN:- i am 27 and i have got this far in this day and age without going thw whole way so please dont patronise me.... i didnt come in here to get disrespected bcos of my religion or my beliefs and you and the likes just love to gloat....im not saying im holier than thou everyone can slip sometimes and i have great intentions im only human i like everyone else make mistakes

Firstly, you don't know me so please don't attempt to tell me what I love to do.
Secondly, you came on a forum claiming to be highly religious and a virgin etc and that this was very important to you. Rather than me mocking you, I simply suggested that if you were going to skirt the religious rule as you were doing, then you might as well go the whole hog and protect yourself. (Another no no for devout Catholics). - You call it making a mistake, fine, make that mistake with a condom on!
If you don't like my opinion that's fine, but I was not mocking you. Since when has encouraging someone to protect themselves been mockery??
This is clearly a sensitive subject for you, and a big day, so I will leave you to your test and wish you luck.

ravenhead

dramaqueen wrote:

Firstly, you don't know me so please don't attempt to tell me what I love to do.
Secondly, you came on a forum claiming to be highly religious and a virgin etc and that this was very important to you. Rather than me mocking you, I simply suggested that if you were going to skirt the religious rule as you were doing, then you might as well go the whole hog and protect yourself. (Another no no for devout Catholics). - You call it making a mistake, fine, make that mistake with a condom on!
If you don't like my opinion that's fine, but I was not mocking you. Since when has encouraging someone to protect themselves been mockery??
This is clearly a sensitive subject for you, and a big day, so I will leave you to your test and wish you luck.

DRAMAQUEEN - don't take her reply personally, you've given some really good advise here & really no matter what her religious beliefs she should take the advise on board, I mean no one is safe when it comes to unprotected sex, No matter what their beliefs or creed.

dramaqueen

Exactly. I hope she uses protection from now on.

Blub2k4

dramaqueen wrote:

Look, not to rain on your religious parade, but if you are as religious as you say you are then what are you doing naked in a bed with him in the first place????
If you really want to be a devout Catholic and do the whole no sex thing then do it.
Otherwise, use condoms and maybe go on the pill.
What's the point in putting yourself in danger over a religious belief that you are only half committing to anyway?
With regards to the fact that he is Black, there are plenty of parents out there who would be against race-mixing. In many ways you can understand their worry as it is a tough road, both for yourselves and for your children, and this issue is a problem in all races, so it's not fair to call your parents racist.
But if you really want this, your parents will have to understand. If they love you, they will accept your decision.

So making a value judgement on someone who is asking for advice became advice when we weren't all looking??
That'd be news to us, try to advise with what the poster gave and not make a value judgement as YOU think their values should be, it is not really helpful, the rest of what you said may have been useful.

shoegirl

Guest - as a woman I can sympathise, and as somebody who comes from a very hard-nosed catholic family I can understand. I think there is a slim risk you may be pregnant - but not a huge one. Even at your age the cycle does delay occasionally from time to time. I'd suggest you talk to Cura - they would have a similar perspective to yourself and would be extremely helpful and supportive if thing do come to the worst, which to be honest isn't very likely.

Even if you are catholic, you are best to consider the risks, however slight - you can learn to practice natural family planning techniques, or think about contraception, or else abstain.

On the broader issue, life doesn't fall into simple categories and unfortunately Ireland is a deeply prejudiced country. I think most reasonable people would not worry about the colour of the skin of the person you are dating, though its understandable that people might be concerned about you seeing somebody "different." It can be very hard to understand but you have to see everybodys perspective. Sadly where race is an issue it can often be reduced to base racism but sometimes there is just genuine concern. Believe me, I've been there (in a relationship where race wasn't the issue) it helps if you try to understand why people feel the way they do, however unreasonable it may be.

By the way, according to the Guardian mixed race families are becoming the norm in the UK, if not already.

dramaqueen

Blub2k4 wrote:

So making a value judgement on someone who is asking for advice became advice when we weren't all looking??
That'd be news to us, try to advise with what the poster gave and not make a value judgement as YOU think their values should be, it is not really helpful, the rest of what you said may have been useful.

To be honest with you I'm not really sure what your point is? Could you tell me exactly what I said to judge her values? I made no comment on the validity of her beliefs only on her actions.
The girls' religious beliefs are her own and she is perfectly entitled to them. However, what she says she believes in and what she was doing, do not correlate. I did not judge that either.
I was merely pointing out that if those beliefs are going to be a little bit flexible then why not be flexible and safe.
Personally, as an Irish woman who grew up in a devoutly Catholic house myself, I can understand how difficult it can be to break away and make your own decisions.
I believe that religions should flexible and personal, you should take the bits from them, that matter to you and go with that. That's my belief but I wouldn't ram it down anyone elses throat anymore than I would allow somebody else to tell me what I should believe.
Each to their own.

Blub2k4

dramaqueen wrote:

Look, not to rain on your religious parade, but if you are as religious as you say you are then what are you doing naked in a bed with him in the first place????

Sounds a bit like the morality police, she already stated she wasn't having sex, playing around whatever, she is ok with that obviously and didn't ask you to draw any conslusions, she wanted to know if she could be pregnant.

Beruthiel

could you lot stick to the question asked at the start of this thread
B

LegacyUser

right ok, now i'm really afraid. i've just taken the pregnancy test and i still don't know whether i'm pregnant. the test is supposed to turn red if you are and blue if you're not. mine turned purple. what does it mean? could i have damaged my self when we touched together?

maggz

GuestAfraid wrote:

well am about to go and find out!!!!

So did you do the test?

- remember whatever the result being pregnant is not the end of the world and your very lucky to have a partner who obviously loves you very much.

dramaqueen

Blub2k4 wrote:

Sounds a bit like the morality police, she already stated she wasn't having sex, playing around whatever, she is ok with that obviously and didn't ask you to draw any conslusions, she wanted to know if she could be pregnant.

I didn't bring religion into the thread. I also didn't comment on her religion. Just on her actions, as I have already stated. Your misinterpretation was just that - a misinterpretation.
If the poster wanted a simple answer to her question she should have just said that she was fooling around with her boyfriend and was a bit worried. Her thread was about more than just pregnancy, it was about religion and race relations and it was also about her problems with her parents.
Maybe you should re-read it.

Beruthiel

next person to go off topic gets banned
B

MojoMaker

OP, sorry to hear the current situation. We're given parents to try us in their old age. How did the test go, any results?

You might fill in a couple of blanks for some of the dissenters here, they might appreciate the wider picture such as you have already disclosed elsewhere.

Gaspode

Guest‌&#913 wrote: »

right ok, now i'm really afraid. i've just taken the pregnancy test and i still don't know whether i'm pregnant. the test is supposed to turn red if you are and blue if you're not. mine turned purple. what does it mean? could i have damaged my self when we touched together?

What test did you do?? Are you sure you read the instructions correctly? I have never seen a test like that on the market. Most tests give you two lines - one to tell you the test is complete and the other is either present or not depending on the result.

If you are in anyway unclear how to read the test the best thing to do is do it again.

The best one for you may be the Clearblue Digital test where it will come up "pregnant" or else "not Pregnant" in clear writing so there will be no doubt in your mind.

Again - can I ask you what brand test you used...??

Liz on her husbands log in.

nobodythere

GuestAfraid, you're not damaged. Please don't take this personally but you don't seem to be very educated on sexual matters. You shouldn't be afraid to go and browse the internet to educate yourself. Knowledge is protection and that's how you know you won't make the same mistake again (or other mistakes).

These things happen, it's nature - "Be fruitful and multiply". Better safe than sorry. Unfortunately I'm a man who has never been pregnant (some day... some day) so I don't know why it turned purple. It might mean inconclusive. Google it or something? Or else get a different type of test (as far as I know there are numerous types).

The fact that you feel 'damaged' as you say indicates a feeling of guilt over your actions. I think you need to consider your standing on the whole sex issue. If you are intent on the Christian view of things, maybe study the bible carefully and see if it has anything to say on the whole sex/marriage thing. These things can become naturally distorted by the church through time and if you are following the Christian code then your source should not be your parents/your church.

LundiMardi

grasshopa wrote:

GuestAfraid, you're not damaged. Please don't take this personally but you don't seem to be very educated on sexual matters. You shouldn't be afraid to go and browse the internet to educate yourself. Knowledge is protection and that's how you know you won't make the same mistake again (or other mistakes).

These things happen, it's nature - "Be fruitful and multiply". Better safe than sorry. Unfortunately I'm a man who has never been pregnant (some day... some day) so I don't know why it turned purple. It might mean inconclusive. Google it or something? Or else get a different type of test (as far as I know there are numerous types).

The fact that you feel 'damaged' as you say indicates a feeling of guilt over your actions. I think you need to consider your standing on the whole sex issue. If you are intent on the Christian view of things, maybe study the bible carefully and see if it has anything to say on the whole sex/marriage thing. These things can become naturally distorted by the church through time and if you are following the Christian code then your source should not be your parents/your church.

guest, for a 27 year old i'm sorry to say but i think you need to grow up a little and maybe educate yourself.

Personally i wouldn't bother with a test from a chemist, i'd go straight to the doc..

And DRAMAQUEEN has made some valid points, all of which i agree with.

LegacyUser

Sorry guys but some knob head let on that they wereme in that post about the pregnancy test you will see that there is a bos between guest afraid... ...stupid ejjit

For those that are concerned I got my period before I took the test so I know that chances are slim that I actually am... I am not as ignorant as that twit made me out to be cop yourself on whoever you are and stop wasting peoples time

THANK YOU ALL FOR THE GREAT ADVICE

jammie

My 50 cents for what its worth........ I think the last post from guest afraid is someone taking the piss, the 2 names dont match, the 1st who was obviously in great distress is just GuestAfraid, the 2nd one is Guest(abox)afraid...I dont think they are the same person, think this is someone trying to cause a bit of ****...I hope not for the original posters sake becuase I dont think its funny...I m probably way off the mark but just said Id metion it!!! Lets us know how the test went original poster

Catsmokinpot

usernameguest01 wrote:

I find it very annoying that in this section of boards, people dont respect peoples religious beliefs. If a person is holy, these beliefs are deeply embedded in them.

:mad:

im sorry but what are you on about?


Edit: really... what are you on about?