Girlfriend on holiday

LegacyUser

My girlfriend, not of very long, bout three months, is on holiday in Portugal.

Im suffering from a case of jealousy, or moreso the worry that she might "wander", if ya get my meaning. I dont really think I have anything to worry about, she told me I didnt before she went and has been texting me saying she misses me, but she was also texting about a group of Irish guys they had met over there.

I know this is a bit pathetic and insecure of me, Im in my early twenties as is she, but I've been on holidays a few times myself and know how easily the holiday romance bug can get you.

I guess Im just looking for a bit of reassurance and possibly someone to tell me to shutup and stop being so childish and just trust the girl!

Well, it looks like I advised myself there But yeah, someone elses input would be nice. I like this girl a lot so would hate to lose her at this early stage in the relationship.

ven0m

Wee_Bit_Worried wrote:

My girlfriend, not of very long, bout three months, is on holiday in Portugal.

Im suffering from a case of jealousy, or moreso the worry that she might "wander", if ya get my meaning. I dont really think I have anything to worry about, she told me I didnt before she went and has been texting me saying she misses me, but she was also texting about a group of Irish guys they had met over there.

I know this is a bit pathetic and insecure of me, Im in my early twenties as is she, but I've been on holidays a few times myself and know how easily the holiday romance bug can get you.

I guess Im just looking for a bit of reassurance and possibly someone to tell me to shutup and stop being so childish and just trust the girl!

Well, it looks like I advised myself there But yeah, someone elses input would be nice. I like this girl a lot so would hate to lose her at this early stage in the relationship.

it's normal mate..... my girlfriend has been in India for the last month & won't be back until next week meaning I haven't been apart from her for 5 weeks in total come next weekend...... don't get all worked up... just relax. Have you ever thought she's gonna miss the pants off you too or be worrying whether or not you "stray"????


::: ven0mous :::

thejovialhost

What he said ^^. Chillax. Don't worry so much or you'll drive yourself insane

jcoote

if u can't trust her now yis won't last very long or if u do manage to stay together it will be miserable..try and trust her and remember shes comin home soon to u and nobody else..its all good

Gazza22

Just try to relax, if she hasn't ever given the reason to doubt her before then there is no reason why you should be worried.

You have got to put more trust into your relationship with her if it's going to work long-term.

AARRRGH

There's nothing you can do. Worrying or not worrying will not change anything.

You will probably never know if she is cheating. It's just something you have to accept.

About two years ago, my girlfriend (at the time) went on holidays with two slutty female friends of hers. They got TWO apartments - one with three beds and one with two beds. No prizes for guessing the mentality behind this.

Anyway, she had been gone for about 2 days when I noticed she'd brought our condoms with her...

She was also hanging around with a group of lads she met over there...

Was a very unpleasant two weeks for me.

I'm not at all suggesting your girlfriend is cheating, but I'm just letting you know that I know how you feel, and it sucks.

But there is nothing you can do about it.

OfflerCrocGod

Trust: it's what relationships are all about.

Vangelis

Yes, trust is fundamental. In a maturing, growing relationship, trust will come. I see you haven't been togther for very long. Maybe if you had been together for say a year, you would be able to trust her more. But don't worry. I you have no doubt she is serious with you and mad about you, there is no need to be shaky. Ask her in a modest, careful way when she gets back if she has flirted or more with anybody else. Maybe you could give her an ultimatum?
Anyways, don't think too much and wait til she is home with you again!

AARRRGH

Vangelis wrote:

Maybe you could give her an ultimatum?

No, I totally disagree with this. It could kill the relatioship.

You just have to accept there is nothing you can do. It's quite reasonable she will cheat, but you'll probably never know.

It sucks

Vangelis

dublindude wrote:

No, I totally disagree with this. It could kill the relatioship.

You just have to accept there is nothing you can do. It's quite reasonable she will cheat, but you'll probably never know.

It sucks

Reasonable? I think the OP knows best whether his girl is so predictable or not. You talk like you have been with all women and know that they will all cheat. Well, that is narrow-minded. Obviously you haven't had many good relationships, but don't put this apocalyptic feel to the situation. Only he knows her. She won't cheat if she is serious and loves the guy. If she does "wander around" she isn't worth your time, but there is one thing you can do: leave her.

AARRRGH

Vangelis wrote:

Reasonable? I think the OP knows best whether his girl is so predictable or not. You talk like you have been with all women and know that they will all cheat. Well, that is narrow-minded. Obviously you haven't had many good relationships, but don't put this apocalyptic feel to the situation. Only he knows her. She won't cheat if she is serious and loves the guy. If she does "wander around" she isn't worth your time, but there is one thing you can do: leave her.

Are you really niave (spelling???) enough to think the majority of people don't cheat?

I'm afraid to break it to you, but out of everyone I know, there are only a small few who did not cheat during certain periods in their relationship (when they were fighting, at the start of their relationship, near the end, etc.)

I have female friends who say they don't cheat, but later have confided in me that they did...

Really...

Can I ask what age are you? €50 you are under 20

abercrombie

yeah like everyone else said so far...u just gotta put all ur faith in that she wont cheat on u and trust her! sure she mite be even thinking the exact same thing...that u may "wander" while she's away!!!

WhiteWashMan

Vangelis wrote:

Yes, trust is fundamental. In a maturing, growing relationship, trust will come. !

Vangelis wrote:

Maybe you could give her an ultimatum?
!

an ultimatum?

are you 12 years old?

harldy the thing of trust that you talk about!

LegacyUser

Thanks for the advice guys.

We texted for a bit last night and everything seems hunky dory. In fact, it seems almost like things are getting stronger while she is away. The only downside being that I miss her a lot more now!

ven0m

Wee_Bit_Worried wrote:

Thanks for the advice guys.

We texted for a bit last night and everything seems hunky dory. In fact, it seems almost like things are getting stronger while she is away. The only downside being that I miss her a lot more now!

She'll be back man - just stay busy & the time will fly in - trust me!!!! Don't forget to enjoy yourself too!!!!


::: ven0mous :::

Vangelis

dublindude wrote:

Are you really niave (spelling???) enough to think the majority of people don't cheat?

I'm afraid to break it to you, but out of everyone I know, there are only a small few who did not cheat during certain periods in their relationship (when they were fighting, at the start of their relationship, near the end, etc.)

I have female friends who say they don't cheat, but later have confided in me that they did...

Really...

Can I ask what age are you? €50 you are under 20

You just happen to know all those who cheat. And only them.

Vangelis

WhiteWashMan wrote:

an ultimatum?
are you 12 years old?
harldy the thing of trust that you talk about!

Stop ****ing with me.

Zebra3

What age is your gf? Is she looking for a serious relationship with you?

LegacyUser

Yes, I believe so, from the way thingts have been going then I definitely believe so. And I am very interested in a serious relationship with her. We are both 22.

To be honest, this holiday thing has just come a little early in our relationship from the point of view that I havent completely gotten to know her yet and also, a previous girlfriend of mine did cheat on holiday so thats probably not helping.

Anyway, I think the problem is solved for me right now, last nights little chat between us really put my mind at ease.

WhiteWashMan

Vangelis wrote:

Stop ****ing with me.

excuse me?

WhiteWashMan

Wee_Bit_Worried wrote:

Yes, I believe so, from the way thingts have been going then I definitely believe so. And I am very interested in a serious relationship with her. We are both 22.

To be honest, this holiday thing has just come a little early in our relationship from the point of view that I havent completely gotten to know her yet and also, a previous girlfriend of mine did cheat on holiday so thats probably not helping.

Anyway, I think the problem is solved for me right now, last nights little chat between us really put my mind at ease.

listen, if your girlfriend is going to cheat on you, she will. it doesnt matter how much you worry. texting her and acting like an immature 15 year old afraid shes going to do the dirt on you is only going to turn her off you, make her think you are about 15 years old, and make her feel crowded by a needy high maintenance person.

if you cant deal with someone being away, and if you cant deal with someone talking to other men, then you shouldnt be in a realtionship. until you can work out that a relationship involves trust, and not being paranoid about evey movement she makes, and wanting to smack every bloke she talks to then you wont have a happy relationship. ensuring that she is faithful will drive her away. as will any childish ultimatums.


also, regalrdless fo what your previous partner did, try and relise somthing.
you are with someone else now. she is not your previous partner. and until the point that hse does do the dirt (hypothetically speaking) you should really trust her up to that point. becuase until she has done that, then you are just being a needy, high maintenance, clingy immature and generally unsupportive partner.

by the way, youre not ready for a mature long term relationship.

Otacon

I don't think this will be of any positive benefit to you but I'm going to say it because you should also think of this.

My gf is currently in Spain for two weeks. Shes due back on Saturday. I know for a fact that she has cheated on me. She e-mailed me to tell me, and to break up with me. We'd been going out 9 months.

Point I'm trying to make is the unexpected can happen. Be trusting, but on guard.

Mary-Ellen

The person who told you you're not ready for a long term relationship was being a little harsh. It's natural to be a concerned.

Try to consider yourself lucky to get this hurdle out of the way so early in your relationship and enjoy some you time. You must have extra time on your hand to spend with some frinds too.

When you believe the best in others, they'll try to live up to it.

Best of luck,

ven0m

Otacon wrote:

I don't think this will be of any positive benefit to you but I'm going to say it because you should also think of this.

My gf is currently in Spain for two weeks. Shes due back on Saturday. I know for a fact that she has cheated on me. She e-mailed me to tell me, and to break up with me. We'd been going out 9 months.

Point I'm trying to make is the unexpected can happen. Be trusting, but on guard.

Break by via email - classy woman!!!!! :mad:


::: ven0mous :::

Vangelis

If a girl or a boy breaks up with someone via e-mail, that shows extreme lack of concern and it is inconsiderate. Say it like a woman, not a coward! That goes for men too.

Raiser

Man I sure am getting jet-lagged flying between Portugal, India and Spain, I'm shagged from it I tells ya.