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Corporal punishment?

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    #62
    Irjudge1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 377 ✭✭Irjudge1


    My own particular circumstance is a father with two kids 5 and 3 y.o.. My partner is a stay at home mother since the second pregnancy, and I am a commuter so I'm not at home as much as I'd like.

    I have occasionally slapped my children when I have "lost it", on occasion with more force than I should have. This reflects a lack of control on my part. The use of a slap in a premeditated fashion would still reflect my weakness as a parent that the problem cannot be resolved in some other fashion.

    I try to chastise my children, when required, without any physical element at all and sometimes it is hard, and occasionally I fail. Inflicting physical pain on children is wrong.

    I was slapped as a child and one or two occurances of belt being taken to me. My parents situation was stay at home mother with father away from home 3 weeks out of every four. Five children, stressful for my parents on occasion i would guess.

    Was I afraid of my parents when I was a child? on occasion. Do I and did I respect my parents ? absolutely. Has it damaged our relationship? Not that I am aware of.

    There were a lot of other things that went on in my childhood home that gave me reassurance that my parents were not out to hurt me. The clothed me, fed me, I got birthday/ christmas presents, when I was sick I was looked after. Slapping was a reprimand when I did wrong which was painful and carried out mostly in the heat of the moment when things were just "too much".

    I know my parents love me and as I get older and have my own children it is apparent to me why my parents slapped me. There were five of us for cryin out loud not the quietest bunch around. We're only dealing with two.

    Slapping isn't right but sometimes it is excusable.


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    #63
    luckat
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,366 ✭✭✭luckat


    Yeah, in the immortal closing line of Some Like it Hot, "Nobody's perfect".

    I haven't read this book myself, but am told it's got good ways of dealing with stuff without slapping:

    http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/1567131751/103-7394284-9763817?v=glance

    The Power of Positive Parenting : A Wonderful Way to Raise Children (Paperback)
    by Glenn I. Latham

    ***** (15 customer reviews)
    List Price: $24.95
    Price: $16.47


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    #64
    Vangelis
    Closed Accounts Posts: 719 ✭✭✭Vangelis


    Stress is not excuse to slap.
    Irjudge1, you probably hit your children because you were hit yourself.
    It's common.

    Nice input, luckat!


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