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Just a phase???

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  • 16-09-2005 11:04pm
    #1
    memphis
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,964 ✭✭✭


    Ok, where do I start......

    I as some of ye already know would have labelled (and I hate labels) myself as bisexual but on the straighter side of the fiield... if ya follow.

    Anyway, to go back to some of the detail. For the last few years... I'm 24 now I have been playing around with the feelings in my head, and have experimented with both sexes. While I have never actually bedded a guy, I do have some sexual experience that goes beyond just a snog. I however would have snogged quite alot of young ladies in my teens as I have done in the past few months.


    I now find myself no longer interested in going after guys and am finding myself moving back into the straight side of things again. Is this just a momenterial(sp??) thing, or was all my experimenting and playing around with lads a phase, or do Bisexuals find themselves going from being straight to being gay to back to being straight again?? Where is the balance, if any at all?

    I know I have always been confused about such things, have kept quiet about my sexuality (apart from telling a few close mates), but is it possible that I'm not really bi/gay, and in fact Straight as I had always though I was until I reached my 20's??

    I just want to be happy, and be able to live a "normal" life. I long for nothing more than to marry, settle down and have kids, but I fear my sexuality will creap up and get in the way of that.

    I can honestly say though, I am single I have done nothing over the past few months with a guy, and in fact still no longer have an interest to. I have a mad crush on this female friend which has been pre-occupying my thoughts.

    Sorry if this sounds all muddled up and confused, buts that how I feel. I guess, what i'm asking is... was all this snogging guys, and stuff just a part of growing up? Nothing more than a phase? Am I really just straight?? Or am I just afraid of admitting that I am attracted to both sexes, but girls more so than guys??

    Memphis


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    #2
    BuffyBot
    Registered Users Posts: 24,924 ✭✭✭✭BuffyBot


    memphis wrote:
    I now find myself no longer interested in going after guys and am finding myself moving back into the straight side of things again. Is this just a momenterial(sp??) thing, or was all my experimenting and playing around with lads a phase, or do Bisexuals find themselves going from being straight to being gay to back to being straight again?? Where is the balance, if any at all?

    I don't know. I don't think anyone really can say, apart from you. I do know and have known bisexual guys who drift one way or the other and find a relationship and stick with it. It's not unusual.
    I know I have always been confused about such things, have kept quiet about my sexuality (apart from telling a few close mates), but is it possible that I'm not really bi/gay, and in fact Straight as I had always though I was until I reached my 20's??

    Again, only you can answer whether you define your self as gay/straight/bisexual.
    I just want to be happy, and be able to live a "normal" life. I long for nothing more than to marry, settle down and have kids, but I fear my sexuality will creap up and get in the way of that.

    Again, not much help, but no one can really tell youwhat to do. Personally, everything in life contains an element of risk - relationships especially so. You need to think long and hard about whether you can resist the temptation to "revert", or whether you could give into temptation and risk hurting your partner and family.


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    #3
    Hmm_Messiah
    Registered Users Posts: 1,964 ✭✭✭Hmm_Messiah


    Hi, in he same place as u, but got there a different route.
    sexuality is fluid, and individual, some people "settle" into their sexuality unconsciously , with no concern or turmoil, others take yrs, mabe even lifeimes. From what u wrote it sounds you've found somehin comfortable but it feels strange after ur earlier experiences ; and so u question the why.

    IMHO your not denying anything, or rejecting something....your life story so far has brought you here. Go chase the girl instead of dwelling on the meaning of everything, your thoughts , feelings actions.

    calling it a "ohase" is some how lessening your own life experience, maybe you can see the past, how things are now and any future change as chapters in the story your writing, each imporant to the complete story that is ....you


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