I'm so alone

LegacyUser

This is the thing I’m lonely. Desperately lonely. I actually have no friends. I am self employed so I work alone. Other than the people I do work for or shopkeepers selling me something I have no social contact whatsoever. All my customers think I’m a great guy. I am with them. Otherwise I’m empty. Really empty. I have no close family to speak of. I work hard enough to get by but no harder because my ambitions have slipped away. I am not involved in sports and have no wish to be. I have an interest in target shooting, but fúck there’s a loner sport for you. I am an adult so making friends is not as easy as going up to someone and saying “play with me” It’s just not that simple. I work , I come home, I eat, I watch TV, I surf the internet, I look at boards, I read PI and see people abusing friendships and think how much I would cherish a friend, one friend, If I had one. I make bad decisions all the time because I have no one to talk things over with. I drink myself to sleep every night because I can’t go to bed and lie there reviewing the horror that is my life. Every night I hope to die in my sleep. When I wake up I just grit my teeth and face into another empty day.

Sparky

I see what you mean about being self employed and working can make you feel alone, but if you need to make contact with people, why not go places in town, maybe ring up your cousins and see if you's want to go somewhere, i met my second girlfriend from hanging around with my cousins, id also recommend taking up a hobby that involves meet ups, they're great for meeting new people.

if your in the construction industry and maybe working on a site, why not ask some of the lads if they want to go out on a friday.

PowerHouseDan

I dunno i have never been, But why not go to a Boards Beers event, Judging by people on here it would be easy to get on with people?

seamus

That's a toughie When you're in a rut, it's tough to get out of it.

The only thing I can suggest is to join a club doing something you're interested in - join a shooting club for example. Even take up something new. You say you don't like sport, but try golf even - that's not a sport
Seriously though, golf is a very social sport, if you join a society (much cheaper than clubs).

If your ambitions have changed/subsided, then why not consider a drastic change? Move country, sell your business....something that will change your life completely.

Even an evening course in a subject you're interested in, is a great place to meet people.

nobodythere

I know when you're down it's hard to get on your feet. Do you have much free time being self-employed? Do you live on your own? Have you ever had close friends? How old are you?

With regards to cherishing a friend, no need to go overboard when you find yourself suddenly around new people. You sound like a nice guy, so be yourself, don't latch on to them like a leech. If necessary, establish ground by doing one of those secret "you're my homeboy" handshakes from the hood

ando

Jesus man, get a grip on yourself. Join the gym and keep going twice a week, you'll feel better when your in good shape and for gawds sake give the drinking up before going to bed. Join a voluntary service, for instance last year I wanted to expand my social scene so I joined the aux fire service. Once or twice a week I meet up with about 10 other lads and we go off putting out fire's and stuff, its great fun but really hard physically but going to the gym regularly sorts that out... I've made even more friends again by going to the gym. As a bonus all this physical work helps when approaching the ladies

I know you say you’re not into sports but joining a team sport once you’re reasonably fit will be a real help for your social skills and life, ice hockey.. football.. Gaa? You’re stuck in a rut and your the only one that can get yourself out of it, so what are you going to do about it...

Did you even consider changing job/career, it’s obvious this one is not making you happy. Changing career could involve studying for a year, you'll be in a class with 15 others.. plenty of opportunities there to be making friends, you just gotta make the effort and put yourself out there

If you don't change, how do you expect things to change

Supercell

Your are not by far the only person in a situation like this.
Many people out there may have not done the "normal" thing and settled down and have a wife etc etc and feel the exact same as you do.

So what to do?

Get pissed every night? ..does while away the hours in a pleasurable way

Or..

Do something else..doesnt need to be a "fooking obvious that i'm desperate" like salsa dancing or such..
Try voluntary work..lifegards..night class teaching if you have particular knowledge in a certain area etc etc.
Once thing is for sure, you will meet nice genuine people this way that are giving their time up for the common good, you might even be helping someone that is your perfect match or is a good friend that brings you into their social circle.

DawnMc

I think you should take active steps to change your situation.
Lying in bed hoping you die will get you nowhere.
I dont' pity you as you can change this situation if you want to.
You must have some interests, maybe join a nightclass?
Go to a Boards Beer too, thats a good idea

LegacyUser

You're not the only one...

Sparky

yeah boards beers is a good place to go, we may be mad but were nice people.

Victor

Come to one of the boards.ie events http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/forumdisplay.php?f=153

Note, you have a job, food on your table, a roof over your head and people don't think you are OK.

mayordenis

its drastic but end your self-employment and go get a job working for someone work with people generally begins new friendships.

Bamboozled

Sounds to me like the symptoms of depression. Go talk to your GP. Yes that's terribly hard to do but if you do it you'll wonder why you left it so long.

Do all the other stuff that others mentioned. If you're not into sports, try a book club, hold a coffee morning for charity (use your customers, suppliers to spread the word), take up dancing, study something new, do something in your community. They all dont have just females doing those things - males do it too.

But really I would suggest you go talk to your GP soon. Even sittign in the waiting room may give you a few ideas of where to go or what to do in spare time as there are almost always signs and posters up on walls or noticeboards.

The worst thing someone can say to someone feeling like this is to pull themselves together or get over themselves or to get a grip. Reaching out - even posting annoymously on a forum is them asking for some help so they can "get a grip".

LegacyUser

Thanks for the responses guys.

I've already tried everything that's been suggested. Yes I do mean literally everything. I have been to my GP but it didn't help. I went to one boards event. I was just like boards, some nice people, some really not nice people and no way to tell them apart. I came away from it worse off than before.

I think I'll just keep doing what I'm doing.
The good thing about going downhill is it gets faster as you go.
I hope it ends soon.

dramaqueen

Seiously you can't have tried everything and if you have then you didn't try hard enough. I moved to this city 6 months ago and I didn't know anybody.
It was daunting.
I took a course and met people. I got a job and met people. I have lots of new friends now and I really like living here.
It's not enough to just turn up at an event. You have to interact.
How old are you and where do you live?
I don't think that you can expect everything to be better by just going to an event. It will take time. You have to build relationships with people.
Look at your weekly schedule and fill two evenings a week.
Book a course and take up salsa (believe me there are never enough men at those classes so you will be welcomed with open arms)
Once you are settled with those two evenings, fill another evening.
Stop drinking, stop feeling sorry for yourself and stop being melodramatic.
You are lonely so fix it.
I'm sorry if this sounds harsh but you need to shake this off and get on with it. The last thing you want to do is look back when you're eighty and wish you had changed something. Change it now.
Start with your attitude to life.
You get one shot at it so don't waste it.

dudara

LonelyGuy wrote:

I think I'll just keep doing what I'm doing.
The good thing about going downhill is it gets faster as you go.
I hope it ends soon.

That last piece just scared the hell out of me. Literally shivers down my spine as I read it. I'm asking you to stand back and read it objectively yourself. What would you say to someone who said that to you?

Never mind a GP, get yourself a referral to a decent counsellor and go see them

annR

Here's another suggestion - look at it this way. List the reasons why things are so bad, and list any other reasons why your efforts so far haven't worked. Be honest and objective.

Now, you've made a good step, because the list you have is a list of the things you have to change to make things better. That's a good start. Just work your way through them and see what happens.

On another note, the things you've tried, have you really given them a chance? How long did you stick at it?

How long did it take for things to get this bad? Was it something that developed over a long time? How long have you been trying to make things better? Have you identified any other particular problems?

I don't mean to sound harsh but you have let this happen by itself and changing things will take effort and persistance. You owe it to everyone to just keep at it. Surely that can't be harder than doing nothing.

Sifo

dont take the easy way out dude, life is tough, getting through this could change you forever... imagine goin from where you re now to bein in love or having a kid, the harder you fight the greater the sense of acheivementyou get what im saying?

Beruthiel

LonelyGuy wrote:

I hope it ends soon.

if it's gotten to this and you don't care if you wake up in the morning, then you have absolutely nothing to loose by selling up everything, getting on a plane and go country hopping, do it for a year or two, work in bars or whatever if you need more money.
A year or two in other countries will change you completely!

you get one chance to exist on this earth, it goes very, very quickly, why not live it to the max while you are here?
seriously, all you need is the guts to give yourself the push

Maccattack

This may be a poxy contribution ok.

I used to get pretty lonely in my teens. I imagine its harder being lonely in your teens than in adult life, but anyway.

There were a few things I did to make myself happier.

1. Read. YOU CAN NOT BE DEPRESSED WHEN YOU READ. YOU JUST CANT. unless you read Mills and Boon of course.

2. Listen to music

3. and LEARN to play Guitar.

All of these things will help you big style.

Im not being facetious here ok, but if you learn to play guitar a few things happen.

Obviously you learn a new skill that makes you proud as punch of yourself.

But also with three chords you can tell the world about your misery. Strum that baby the way you feel. Its very cathartic. Believe me man. The weight does lift.

Plus you'll be that little bit cooler coz you can play the guitar.

As for listening to music. Try listening to the classics. There is some beautiful stuff out there. You can be lifted very highly by it.


Dont give in. Look for positives in everything.

Beruthiel

Maccattack wrote:

Look for positives in everything.

indeed
there are two ways of looking at things
the glass is half empty
or the glass is half full

Fraggle

mayordenis wrote:

its drastic but end your self-employment and go get a job working for someone work with people generally begins new friendships.

I totally agree, be done with this self-employment thing. Working is a great way to find new friendships, you meet with workmates after a long day on a Friday evening, before you know it they've bumped into a couple of their own mates, laughs all round, acquaintances are made and then the buddy-buddy business gets under way.

Please do something for your own sake.You sound like a really nice person with a great personality.Theres a multitude of mates out there waiting for you.I know you feel like there is no hope but please muster any of your remaining pride and dignity and start to make some major changes here.Lifes too short to mope around despairingly.You deserve it man.

lazylad

Lonelyguy wrote:

This is the thing I’m lonely. Desperately lonely. I actually have no friends. I am self employed so I work alone. Other than the people I do work for or shopkeepers selling me something I have no social contact whatsoever. All my customers think I’m a great guy. I am with them. Otherwise I’m empty. Really empty. I have no close family to speak of. I work hard enough to get by but no harder because my ambitions have slipped away. I am not involved in sports and have no wish to be. I have an interest in target shooting, but fúck there’s a loner sport for you. I am an adult so making friends is not as easy as going up to someone and saying “play with me” It’s just not that simple. I work , I come home, I eat, I watch TV, I surf the internet, I look at boards, I read PI and see people abusing friendships and think how much I would cherish a friend, one friend, If I had one. I make bad decisions all the time because I have no one to talk things over with. I drink myself to sleep every night because I can’t go to bed and lie there reviewing the horror that is my life. Every night I hope to die in my sleep. When I wake up I just grit my teeth and face into another empty day.

Everybody only got a few good friends, and loadza acquantances. Most people are shallow arseholes you could do without to be honest. You sound pretty deep so maybe you are too deep for most people and they sense that and keep away. Screw them! Most people are just all about going out and crap! In time youl be ok.

Laguna

Lonelyguy wrote:

This is the thing I’m lonely. Desperately lonely. I actually have no friends. I am self employed so I work alone. Other than the people I do work for or shopkeepers selling me something I have no social contact whatsoever. All my customers think I’m a great guy. I am with them. Otherwise I’m empty. Really empty. I have no close family to speak of. I work hard enough to get by but no harder because my ambitions have slipped away. I am not involved in sports and have no wish to be. I have an interest in target shooting, but fúck there’s a loner sport for you. I am an adult so making friends is not as easy as going up to someone and saying “play with me” It’s just not that simple. I work , I come home, I eat, I watch TV, I surf the internet, I look at boards, I read PI and see people abusing friendships and think how much I would cherish a friend, one friend, If I had one. I make bad decisions all the time because I have no one to talk things over with. I drink myself to sleep every night because I can’t go to bed and lie there reviewing the horror that is my life. Every night I hope to die in my sleep. When I wake up I just grit my teeth and face into another empty day.

Do you think the rest of us are having a great time or something?, get real. The majority of people in life are pissed off most of the time for many reasons, **** job, ill health, bf/gf trouble. What is it that you think most people do in their spare time that is so earth shatteringly different to you?, I do the same things you do, surfing the internet, watch TV, eat/sleep etc..

You don't have a life threatening disease like two people in my family have, they get up trying to make the most of every day, regardless of their ill health, they could die any day yet don't come out with attention seeking comments such as "I hope it ends soon", which even if they did, they'd have a right to. Maybe if you were to be diagnosed with something serious, would you then wake up?

I find it quite offensive to be honest, the way you come across, wallowing in self pity, when there are people out there in far worse conditions than you are, you're employed, you've a house, you're able to surf the internet (which indicates that you have your own P.C, net connection, hardly a step away from the poor box I suppose?).

I think the "I hope it ends soon" comment is attention seeking, if you're feeling THAT bad, you're not talking to the right people, whatever we say is not going to make the slightest bit of difference to how you feel. Go and get some professional help.

UNIFLU

Laguna (crap car to be hnest), how dare you give out to this person, yes a person with emotions and feelings lets not forget. would love to slap the 4ffing face off you for being so callous, how dare you, would you mind if i belitteled how you are felling or how your friends/family are???? life threatening, pneumonia can be so and so can depression you nonce

It is quite possible that he may be very depressed, and from what i have read it sounds quite like that. i have spend mant lonely depressed nights posting on forums azs is quite easy to do so as is not face to face and you have an amount of anyominity also.

Please have a bit of thought before you post like that.

Lonelyguy, hope things shine in your future, ride it out, been there and got out of it, had to force myself to get out and do things, go to a gallery on a saturday morning, forget about the work, its not the be all and end all. if you hae the cash try a year in australia backpacking about the place, will really turn things around for you, promise.

Eoin.

if you need a chat msg me, otherwise take as good care of you as you can, please

CrimE

Lonelyguy wrote:

This is the thing I’m lonely. Desperately lonely. I actually have no friends. I am self employed so I work alone. Other than the people I do work for or shopkeepers selling me something I have no social contact whatsoever. All my customers think I’m a great guy. I am with them. Otherwise I’m empty. Really empty. I have no close family to speak of. I work hard enough to get by but no harder because my ambitions have slipped away. I am not involved in sports and have no wish to be. I have an interest in target shooting, but fúck there’s a loner sport for you. I am an adult so making friends is not as easy as going up to someone and saying “play with me” It’s just not that simple. I work , I come home, I eat, I watch TV, I surf the internet, I look at boards, I read PI and see people abusing friendships and think how much I would cherish a friend, one friend, If I had one. I make bad decisions all the time because I have no one to talk things over with. I drink myself to sleep every night because I can’t go to bed and lie there reviewing the horror that is my life. Every night I hope to die in my sleep. When I wake up I just grit my teeth and face into another empty day.

That is a pretty bad situation which is why you need to try your hardest to change it. No good will come of wishing for a friend and wallowing in your lonliness. Making friends can be easy if you find an interest to share with others (not neccesarily sport). There must be something you like that you can share with others if not you have to go out into the world and find something you like that will get you to interact with others.

You need to do this and soon as that kind of an isolated existence is not fit for a person and you deserve better. Hope it all works out and you find that no man is an island.

UNIFLU

just reread you posts and overlooked the drinking to sleep coment the first time.

please try to get out of the habit of dsrinking to sleep, will take a week or so to get back to normal sleeping, been there done that and nearly went back, would you consider joining agym? take up a martial art?

eoin.

Laguna

UNIFLU wrote:

you nonce

Do you know what a nonce is?, no, obviously you don't. A nonce is an expression used to refer to a paedophile, when did I display paedophilic behaviour you stupid ****. Clearly, YOU should consider what you're saying before you post.

And by the way, I didn't post to belittle him, I thought if I pointed out to him there are people in far worse situations than he, and if he were to snap out of it maybe he'd rethink his situation.

With regards to you coming on here and saying **** about my family, did I come on here labouring people with my problem in the first place? no, no, NO I didn't. I don't labour other people with my problems, people have enough of their own.

luckat

Lonelyguy, seems to me that you don't need a friend, you need lots of friends. But you also sound like someone who's struggling with unacknowledged depression.

Maybe you could look for some cognitive/behavioural therapy, to get a more realistic view of your life and options - or maybe you should first go to the doc, get a referral to a psychiatrist who might put you on a brief course of something to get things shifted so you can see more clearly?

When I say lots of friends, I mean that you're looking for a deep, intense relationship, but not ready to trust that anyone will be a nice enough person for that.

The safest thing, so, is to go to the Boards beers, have a nice time, don't take things too seriously, see if you meet people you like and be nice to them so they'll like you...

At a deeper level, though, well, as others have said, we're all lonely. We're nothin' but a stranger in this world. It's a hard place to live.

It doesn't mean you can't be happy - but being happy is a carefully nurtured skill. If you want to be happy, seek out positive experiences. Go for long walks with a dog. Swim in the sea. Help other people. Eat well and enjoy your food. Read good books. Drink alcohol only with other people and in a situation of hilarity or deep talk. Sleep well, deeply and refreshingly (easy enough - take a hot shower and then turn it cold before you sleep and you'll be knocked right out). Reward yourself for smiling.

Gordon

UNIFLU, I found Laguna's advice to be interesting and worth the read. You don't obviously. I'd appreciate if you didn't attack him and especially would appreciate if you didn't use language such as "would love to slap the 4ffing face off you for being so callous".

Do that again and you're out.

Farls

I agree with Laguna here....like I understand your down etc....but theres nothing stopping you from turning it all around except yourself and your own self pity.

Do what B said...sell up and head for new pastures.

Anyway nothing is going to change in your life until you change your attitude.

Bamboozled

As you have already tried your GP and he/she has done nothing for you or not referred you to a decent counsellor/further treatment (or any treatment) I would suggest you go to a different doctor. You are allowed to get a second opinion.

Yes, there are people out there worse off, but when a person is in the situation the original poster is in, it is the worst it can be for them at that particular time.

I was diagnosed with severe depression years ago and the only thing that seemed to help me was looking after a dog. He was an awful thing, but if I didnt look after him, feed him, walk him, groom him - there was no one else to do it and the thought that an innocent animal could die because of me, gave me an incentive to do better. It got me out, it got me chatting to people in areas where I and they walked the dogs, it gave me a purpose. I was let keep the dog after the owner returned and it kept me going and eventually the anti-depressants took affect. But it gave me an incentive, it gave me something to do, it gave me a reason to get up and a reason to get out of the house.

It's a small suggestion, but why not try something similar? Look after a neighbours dog while they go on holiday? It could lead to you striking up an acquaintence with your neighbour, which can lead to a friendship.

seamus

Bamboozled, that is a great story, and a fantastic idea. OP, why not get a dog? Even if you're one of these people who claims not to like animals, you will find yourself very quickly changing that opinion. Having something which is totally and utterly dependent on you, gives you somewhere to focus your attention, and before long, you'll find yourself with a friend and a companion. Within 2 months, you'll wonder how you ever got along without him.

Studies have shown that people with pets are less stressed, and generally more positive than those without. As we've all pretty much pointed out here - the only barrier to your happiness is yourself.

LegacyUser

All your responses are amazing. It's very uplifting.

Laguna I'm sorry there are health problems in you family. Do your best to take care of them. You could have asked for help anonymously as I have done and I'm sure you would have been well supported.

For my own part I have come to some conclusions. The drinking stops now. I'm going to go to evening cookery classes nearby. I should meet people and at the very least cooking will occupy my time. It will be better than the convenience food life I have now. The pet is a great idea. I'll have to look into that. A dog is a big commitment but I might try a budgie or something small like that.

I feel better now just having made this small step. Thanks again.

up for anything

Get a cute, friendly puppy (not a macho pitbull) and you'll find people will stop to talk to you about the pup. It's a great way of breaking the ice with total strangers. But you have to be prepared to look after the animal properly.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/4625213/

Stormfox1020

What Im about to suggest is a wee bit drastic but itll sure change your outlook on life. Sell everything you have, house, car, Tv's, beds, furniture etc and go travel around the world. Appreciate the world around you. You only have one chance life so make the most of it. Or if thats not up your tree Join the Army.

tonyinuae

Why go to the extreme of selling up and wandering round the world? I'm sure what the OP is doing right now is just right for him and what he needs - an important couple of steps in the right direction. Cooking - excellent, useful, and the classes will be fun and social.

I really think he should also consider, after a little while maybe, getting a puppy. A friend of mine did that and he has NEVER looked back, adores the thing to bits, and of course the great thing about dogs is, they adore you back even more! Plus there's the great social aspect when you're out walking the animal - everyone stops to chat if it's a cute doggie.

LegacyUser

My last post didn't go up for whatever reason. Fair enough.

Laguna take care of your family, they are very important. Ask for help here. I did and the response was amazing.

Anyway no drink last night not a drop. No sleep either. Kept going over everything in my head. The pet idea is great, I'm not sure about a dog though. It would be a big commitment. Maybe a cat, they're a bit more independent. I'm going to do a night class of some sort. I thought cookery but last night I realised I would probably be 90% women and I wouldn't fit in. Maybe a language.

I won't waste any more of your time. There are some things that I just have to do myself. Thanks to everyone for the encouragement. It really means a lot.

dudara

Cookery classes are a great idea on so many levels. One, interaction with people, two, interaction with women, three, you'll be able to feed yourself well, and four, women love a man who can cook well.

You're welcome back here anytime you want if need you ever need more advice and support.

nobodythere

I'm sure we'd all like you to post back to hear how you're doing.

ando

hey yeah good luck to you in the future

LegacyUser

Lonely Guy, I am pleased to hear that the advice from the boards has helped you. I do however feel i must comment on something that has more significance than one might think. Getting a pet in your situation is a fantastic idea whoever came up with it.
You have stated that a dog will be too big a commitment for you. In my opinion this kind of attitude is probably the one partly responsible for your current situation. Your thinking that "a cat would be fine because he could look after himself" is rubbish. Listen what im saying is that all close human relationships require COMMITTMENT. THINK ABOUT THIS, its very simple logic. If you are not prepared to put the time and effort into caring for a dog, how do you expect to have a girlfriend? A girlfriend will require more time and effort than looking after a dog believe me! Aside from girlfriends, all friendships, to be good solid ones require committment and unconditionality about them.
I know in your situation you must be consumed only with yourself, thats understandible. You came on here I believe in part to relieve yourself from this.
My advice is this, you need to learn the nature of proper relations with others, this requires unselfishness. Getting a dog is a perfect way to do this. Its perfect for all the reasons you don't want one. Get it?
By the way, small children get budgies so they can throw them aside once the novelty has worn off.
Try and remember this, relationships involve constant work, it never stops.
Good luck I wish you all the best.
Post back with any progress!

Bamboozled

Good luck for the future. Glad one of my ideas or suggestions has helped a little. It sure helped me and i hope the responsibility and the fun of having some kind of pet gives you the joy i got from mine.

Cookery classes are a brilliant idea. I wish you success in your creations, and success in everything from here on in.

Supercell

Maybe he lives in a flat or bedsit where a dog just isnt practical?

Fair play to ya m8, good luck with the cookery classes , seems like a nice way to got out there and meet people and learn something useful.
Do post back here how you get on, no doubt there are many others in your situation that would be interested to see how it all works out.

LegacyUser

Longfield, he stated clearly that he found the idea of a dog to be too big a committment, he didn't say his flat was too small.

I just want to clarify that we all want to give you sound advice that will help your cause lonely guy, I wasn't attempting to attack you in any way.

I just feel that it is a significant issue given that you said it.

Gazza22

I would agree with previous suggestions to basically pack up and go.

Sell your business, buy a single ticket to somewhere you'd really like to live and take up a part time job in that country.

You are bound to meet loads of different people and since you wouldn't be working full time, you would have alot more time on your hands. The self employed pressure will also be lifted.

This will give you a new look on life and perhaps you will never want to return 'home'. You have no restraints here so this would be a great way to turn yor life around.

Best of luck

luckat

Heh, a cookery class would be full of women and it's friends you want! Women actually make good friends too!

Learning a language is a great idea, though. Using your mind is going to change your whole viewpoint.

Excellent work with the non-drinking. Very well done! Expect an "extinction burst" (when you're training a dog, just before the dog 'gets' what it's supposed to do, it will often go into a frenzy of angry barking - this happens with all learning of new stuff with most animals, including humans) - but if you recognise that it's an extinction burst, you can just ride the wave till it's over. It'll probably happen about three weeks in - you'll start thinking "Oh, hell, why am I doing this? It doesn't work!"

Get a cat if you want, rather than a dog - but don't get it just for you. People get animals and discard them all the time - shamingly, more in Ireland than anywhere else in Europe. This is a living creature; don't get it unless you're going to commit to it for life.

And get out and walk for an hour a day. This will change your metabolism, and make you cheerier.

Beruthiel

LonelyGuy wrote:

I thought cookery but last night I realised I would probably be 90% women and I wouldn't fit in..

is not 90% women a good thing!?

Bamboozled

You could look at the "90% women" thing in two ways.
Negative: That there's a lot of women and it might feel strange to be a guy in a class like that.

OR

Positive: Women make good friends - they will listen to you once you listen to them too. Give and take, just like most things. And there'll be a few men in the class so that means that the guys will most likely stick together in the class and afterwards hanging around or going for a drink, thus making it easier to get into a friendlier situation with them.

In my experiences when there are a lot of guys in a group, they tend to separate off into different groups but when there's few guys in a group of mainly women, they tend to stick together. So you could look at it that way and make it work for you. Maybe the guys could expand a bit more on that sort of situation?

Jonny Arson

Bamboozled wrote:

You could look at the "90% women" thing in two ways.
Negative: That there's a lot of women and it might feel strange to be a guy in a class like that.

OR

Positive: Women make good friends - they will listen to you once you listen to them too. Give and take, just like most things. And there'll be a few men in the class so that means that the guys will most likely stick together in the class and afterwards hanging around or going for a drink, thus making it easier to get into a friendlier situation with them.

In my experiences when there are a lot of guys in a group, they tend to separate off into different groups but when there's few guys in a group of mainly women, they tend to stick together. So you could look at it that way and make it work for you. Maybe the guys could expand a bit more on that sort of situation?

Exactly. Women make so much more better friends than men and who knows you could even find a special someone there! *Zane signs up for these cookery classes*