The Smurfs they don't talk about.

Capt'n Midnight

1) God Farther Smurf - The leader of this morbid smurf village. If any smurf has a problem, they can count on him... For a price.

2) Psycho Smurf - Is known to crack for no apparent reason. Usually found on the tallest building taking aim at other smurfs with his sling-shot.

3) Pyro Smurf - He walks around the village holding a lighter in front of his eyes. If there’s ever a fire in the village, you can bet he’s to blame.

4) Nympho Smurfette - Let’s just say she’s not as pristine as Smurfette.

5) Clepto Smurf - He walks into a room, and always walks out with something new.

6) Disgruntled Smurf - Usually found near Psycho Smurf in the tower.

7) Homey Smurf - One of the less known green smurfs. He is also known to ware his pant’s very low and his hat backwards.

8) Grunge Smurf - He has that ripped jeans and flannel look going on.

9) Hippie Smurf - He wares a bandanna instead of a hat. Also he tie-dies everything he owns, including his shoes.

10) Nudist Smurf - Self Explanatory.

11) A.S. (Acronym Smurf) - Speaks in techno-babble. No smurf wants to talk to him very long.

12) Narc Smurf - The tattle-tale of the village.

13) NYPD Smurf - He likes to show his ass to everyone he sees.

14) Mighty Morphin Smurf - He runs around in a cheep costume, while trying to fight the bad guys with out using violence. He is a terrible influence of this villages young.

15) Trekkie Smurf - He always has on a star trek T-shirt. He always manages to relate even the most typical thing to star trek.

16) Axle Smurf - He is the leader of the local smurf band "Gargamel and the evil magicians".

17) Dirty Old Smurf - He is the oldest smurf in this village. He also can’t keep his hands to himself.

18) Sleazy Smurfette - Wares the bare minimum of clothing, as far as smurfs go, and also hits on every smurf male in the village.

19) Queer Smurf - He came out of the closet a long time ago.

20) Long Time Male Companion Smurf - He lives with Queer Smurf.

21) Lesbo Smurfette - Same as Queer Smurf, except she is more accepted in the village than he ever was.

22) Sadist Smurf - He has more scars than this forest has trees.

23) Pagan Smurf - Stays in his hut a lot of the time. Comes out every once in a while to replenish his dragonfly blood supply.

24) Anal Retentive Smurf - He is the most anal smurf in the village.

25) Mestoffelies Smurf - He is also known as "the devil smurf" because of his appearance, and his evil attitude. He has been known to "help out" the godfather every once in a while.

26) Counterfeit Smurf - He is actually a chipmunk in disguise.

27) Yuppie Smurf - He drives a BMW (Brown Milk Wagon), and just has that attitude about himself.

28) Double "O" Smurf - He is the secret agent smurf of the village. He walks around talking into his lapel and looking suspicious.

29) Raunchy Smurf - He smells really bad.

30) Tight Wad Smurf - He’s always grouchy.

31) Shell Shock Smurf - If he hears a loud noise he will drop behind cover and pull out his knife, and usually scream "come out you commie bastards and fight like smurfs!"

32) Hyper Hypo Smurf - If he gets some chocolate he goes nuts.

33) V.D. Smurf - He has every V.D. known. All the smurfettes stay away from him.

34) Ditsy Smurfette - She doesn’t know any better. She never gets what anybody says to her.

35) Wink Smurfendale - The game show host smurf. He’s always smiling and announcing your entrance.

36) Gluttony Smurf - Never has enough of whatever he’s doing at that moment.

37) Alien Abtucty Smurf - He’s always exactly one hour late for every meeting or appointment he has, and he never remembers where he was for that hour.

38) Albino Smurf - He is the only all blue smurf known. (I.e. Blue shirt, blue shoes, blue hat, blue eyes)

39) Count Smurfula - He only comes out at night. He also talks with a Transilvanian accent.

40) Confucius Smurf - He is the wisest smurf in the village. If asked he will give you a parable for any situation.

41) Phonics Smurf - He is constantly pronouncing things out.

42) Paleolithic Smurf - He is the missing smurf link. He has a protruding brow ridge, and walks around grunting loudly.

43) Pimp Smurf - He controls all of his Smurfette bitches.

44) Wino Smurf - He sits in the alleyways and drinks out of a bottle in a brown bag. His clothes are torn and ragged and he wares a dirty stocking cap instead of a white hat.

45) Phobic Smurf - He runs around the village frightened and scared of everything.

46) Mortician Smurf - He is the strangest smurf in the village. He sits around and weights for another smurf, or anything, to die.

47) Invalid Smurf - He was lobotomized when he was very little. Now he just sits around and drools on himself.

48) Ninja Smurf - He wares a black smurf ninja suit, and sneaks around everywhere.

49) Jack of all Smurf’s - He can do anything, but he just can’t do it well.

50) The Well Endowed Smurf - The smurfettes love him. Need I say more.

51) Rabbi Smurfmann - The Jewish smurf. He wares a Yamika instead of a white hat. Also he speaks fluent Hebrew, all the time.

52) Afro Smurf - Another one of the green smurfs. He doesn’t ware a white hat because of his apple high afro.

53) Surgically Altered Smurfette - She has the largest Smurfette cleavage in the village. The other smurfs love it.

54) Cyber Smurf - He was surgically altered at birth. He is now a smurf Robo Cop.

55) Cajun Smurf - He speaks with a deep Cajun accent, and loves his food "Cajun style".

56) Amish Smurf - He rejects all technology. He lives just outside the village and cultivates the urban wasteland that other smurfs have forgotten.

57 -58) Bob & Bob The Redundant Smurf Twins - They are identical smurf twins. No one can tell the difference between the two.

59) Fidget Smurf - He can’t sit still. He’s always, well, fidgeting.

60) Zombie Smurf - He was killed over one hundred seasons ago in a freak smurf ball accident in the old village. A long forgotten smurf magician brought him back to this world, but he wasn’t exactly alive.

61) Bobbit Smurf - Well that’s quite obvious. He’s just not the smurf he used to be.

62) Homely Smurfette (She’s not fat she’s just big boned) - The largest Smurfette in existence. Also she is a first cousin of Papa Smurf’s.

63) Politically Correct Smurf - He’s always speaking in perfectly political correctness. Unfortunately he’s so vague about what he’s actually talking about, that no one understands him.

64) Thrasher Smurf - He’s another member of "Gargamel and the evil Magicians".

65) Mr. Smurfelupicus - A very fuzzy, possibly imaginary, smurf. No smurf has actually seen him.

66) G-Smurf - He’s another one of the green smurfs.

67) Second Cousin Smurf - He’s from another village somewhere across the forest. He shows up at the worst time and stays the season.

68) Inbred Smurf - He was conceived by papa smurf and Homely Smurfette.

69) Whipper Snapper Smurf - The only small smurf in this village.

70) Gomer Smurf - The local law enforcement in the village. Although he isn’t very bright.

71) Promiscuous Smurf - His goal in life is to smurf every Smurfette in the village.

72) Monotonous Smurf (Sister of Bob & Bob the redundant twin Smurf’s) - She just finishes out a very large family.

73) Impotent Smurf - If there is any smurf who can make the smurfettes cry, it’s him.

74) Procrastinating Smurf - He never gets anything done. It’s always tomorrow.

75) Smurfaholic - He just can’t get enough smurf berry juice.

76) Walleye Smurf - He walks, smack, into everything.

77) Cardiac Smurf - He isn’t very old, however, he can’t walk over ten apples before he collapses with another heart attack.

78) Clueless Smurf - He doesn’t know any better. He was found wandering the forest with a massive head wound. He’s never been able to remember much for a long time.

79) Perky Smurfette - Well she’s just perky all the time. It’s sickening.

80) Oppressed Smurf - He just can’t ever get his own way. No matter what. He won’t be made happy by anything, it’s smurf law.

81) Todum Smurf - He is the local native smurfian. He is kind of a witch doctor.

82) Pestilent Smurf - He never leaves his hut. He’s probably the most disgusting smurf in the village.

83) Bubonic Smurf - He always try’s to leave his hut, but he is under guard because he would infect the entire forest if he got out.

84) Epileptic Smurf - He looks like every other smurf, but when you least expect it, he goes into an epileptic fit.

85) cixelsyD frumS - Well he’s dyslexic. He can’t help it.

86) Marsupial Smurf - He is the only smurf with a pouch.

87) Morbid Smurf - He always has to point out the worst possible scenario in any situation, and if there is none, then he makes one up.

88) Taxidermy Smurf - He sits around and waits for Mortician Smurf to finish, then he gets to take over.

89) The Smurf Who Say’s "Nee" - He walks around and says the forbidden word "nee" to every smurf he sees.

90) Scitzo Smurf - He walks around doing things and blaming them on "Those damn voices".

91-101) Drone Smurfs - Every smurf village has to have these guys.