single father seeks advice!!

morvan

I am the father of a three year old loveable boy. After years of dispute with his mother regarding access, guardianship and maintenance, she fianlly agreed to seek councelling. My objectives would be to share custody of our son.
I just finished college and working full time now but find it very hard to fall on my feet financially. I am affraid of not being able to provide for him on a 50% custody basis but it ll be good for both us to spend more time together (more than a week end here and there).
Would anybody have any advices as to tax relief, rent relief or other for single parent that could help me out a little?

Nevyn

www.solo.ie

This site has lots of good information.

Wex1

legally, you won't be entitled to much unless the joint custody is formal, in other words appointed by the courts. The Legal Aid Board is a good first place to seek advice. If both you and the mother co-operate this can be done officially and without much bother, and if she has a problem with this action you can yourself go through these channells, but you will be expected to pay maintenance etc.

You see the state won't part pay one parent and in turn part pay another at the same time unless this is a formal arrangement. Tax relief is a bit dodgy, please tell me if you come across any tax relief you can claim apart from the TFA for one parent families (which is quite generous)

Mercy Katharine

hi , im a single father too , our little boy was born last october . he was a week old before i found out from a nurse at the hospital , my ex then registered him with only the mothers name on his cert , 3 times i was allowed to see him between oct and december , he was christened with me and my family given under 24 hrs notice , i have been refused point blank visitation rights , she has refused any maintenence from me , in her eyes he is her son , i have tried all i can to go down the smooth road to let me have access to our son - personally i believe she needs counselling for post natal depression , her family tell her she is grand , but she is such a different person its un-believeable .
i love my little boy with everything that is me , i wonder morning noon and night how he is , he will be 1 in 2 weeks and it seems yet another precious moment in his life will be missed by his dad . there is so much legal costs a father has to pay in order for him to secure rights to see his own child , im not anti women , but in todays world where women have fought so much to gain equality - is it now not time that in the world of parenting that a father has equal rights when his child is born too ?
any advice - please reply

mountainyman

If the smooth road leads nowhere go the rocky one. See a lawyer and go to court.

Wex1

If your ex is in receipt of a One parent family payment, you are legally obliged to pay maintenance. This gives you a right - if only a slim one with the Dept of Social Community and Family Affairs. She can get difficult but go legal, get the blood tests, etc.

Other than that, keep trying. as your son gets older she may decide involvement from his father will be beneficial, just don't do anything that would close the doors. The shock of a new baby to any woman's system can distort perspectives a bit and the protection (mother hen) instinct is at its total strongest now, mothers trust no one with their newborns.