Am I being a fool????

dublinhottie · 29-09-2005 9:21am #1

I have been seeing a guy for a while now and I am mad about him, he has told me that he feels the same way BUT for some reason I don't believe him. When we are together everything is great all lovey dovey but when we are not its like he is a different person, not interested non communicative, silly little lies he tells me that I catch him out on. We have both been hurt in previous relationships so we are taking things easy but its hard to know how he feels if he keeps blowing hot and cold with me. If I try to confront him about this he just shuts me out and says right we will just leave it here. Should I just forget about this and move on or stick with it, I have a feeling im going to get really hurt again and I know I deserve better.

ferdi · 29-09-2005 9:23am

dublinhottie wrote:

When we are together everything is great all lovey dovey but when we are not its like he is a different person

how do you know what he is like when your not together

dublinhottie · 29-09-2005 9:25am

He ignores my calls, texts, etc etc or if he does reply its short and to the point like he is completely uninterested

ferdi · 29-09-2005 9:28am

some people dont really like talking on the phone. i never get into a long conversation on the phone, even if a girl i like is on the other end, the personal touch is prefered.

if he is lying etc ditch him

Nevyn · 29-09-2005 9:31am

dublinhottie wrote:

I have a feeling im going to get really hurt again and I know I deserve better.

It seems already know where you stand.
HAve a talk with him tell you what your expectation are in a relatoinship
find out what his are and then if you can't agree move on.

Sleepy · 29-09-2005 9:53am

So he's lovely whenever you're around but doesn't want to spend all day texting and phoning you? What a freak :rolleyes:

Some people just aren't into the whole mobile thing. Deal with it.

WhiteWashMan · 29-09-2005 9:53am

as above.
if youre not happy, then srop him. theres no point in being in a relationship where you are not sure about the person you are with.

i mean, whats the fúcking point?

Airblazer · 29-09-2005 10:37am

he could also be married and not be able to answer calls/texts etc..something has to account for his behaviour..and most of the time it's something like this

dublinhottie · 29-09-2005 10:42am

No he is definately not married! I know that for a fact. I am just extremely confused as he wasn't like this at the beginning, he was constantly in touch etc etc I think he may be seeing someone else or something - Im seriously thinking of just walking away - I feel gutted about it all as I am mad about him.

dublinhottie · 29-09-2005 10:44am

Sleepy wrote:

So he's lovely whenever you're around but doesn't want to spend all day texting and phoning you? What a freak :rolleyes:

Some people just aren't into the whole mobile thing. Deal with it.

Oh I know that - but the thing is he wasn't like that at the beginning so that is what has me confused!!! If he was always like that I would be fine but he hasn't been.

jesus_thats_gre · 29-09-2005 11:10am

This is prob harsh but possibly true..

He text and call you loads at the beginning because he was trying to get you interested. He prob done this considerably more than he would normally do because he liked you alot. Now that ye are together, he has probably settled back into his normal routine of not texting or talking to people on phones..

You can interpret that whatever way you want but at least be realistic. You will probably come to the conclusion that he saw you as a new toy and has got bored of you now..

Miss Fluff · 29-09-2005 1:45pm

Go easy on the texting and calling for a while to see if he instigates contact. Maybe you're doing it too regularly and it's freaking him out :eek:
If he doesn't contact you, maybe you're right, and he's just not as interested as you thought. Better to come out of this with a bruised ego than a broken heart

Tiddlywinks · 29-09-2005 2:09pm

Maybe the guy is just worried that things are getting a bit serious? I know its a cliche but talk to him about it and explain how you feel, do both of you want the same thing? If he really likes you and you tell him its bothering you then hel work on it and if not then he isnt worth your tears! Good luck though cause it is a tough one!

dublinhottie · 29-09-2005 2:15pm

He does know how I feel thats the thing - Im just so confused its doing my head in. Im tired telling him at this stage im just going to walk away - If he wants me like he says he does then he can come looking for me if its meant to be. I will be truly broken hearted about it but I don't think there is anything more I can do about it really. I have tried and tried and tried but it is not working.

Thanks for the advice guys
C x

dublinhottie · 29-09-2005 2:23pm

I have just sent him an e-mail to tell him again how I feel and that I am going to leave it here. Maybe its the fact that im 23 and he is 34 I don't know but its over now

Tiddlywinks · 29-09-2005 2:23pm

Well if he doesnt come after you he definitly isnt worth it, hope everything works out for the best, and if it doesent there'l be a guy just around the corner that deserves you as a girlfriend

bellend · 29-09-2005 2:34pm

i dont know why girls go out with guys that much older?? its stupid, i mean fair enough if i started going out with a girl 5years younger than me but 11 aint cool.

hes prob with u cause ur young and its abit of fun for him, sex is prob great for him and blah blah... sorry to say but if u didnt mean to get hurt u should have stuck to someone around the same age as u.

i think u already know in ur head and ur heart hes not serious, id say dump him and learn from ur mistakes

AARRRGH · 29-09-2005 2:36pm

Trust your instincts!!! They are there for a reason.

He could very easily be seeing someone else (it does sound like it.) Or maybe he is just a terrible communicator? Very possible...

I think you are right to send him the e-mail. He'll be able to think about a response and maybe open up a little bit more as it's more private than a one on one conversation...

If you don't get the answer you want though, I think it is time to move on. It'll be extremely difficult, but in the long run it'll (most likely) be worth it.

Sorry to hear about your situation.

dublinhottie · 29-09-2005 2:58pm

Well he has just replied to my mail. He doesn't want stop things we are going to meet tonight and discuss things. Hopefuly everything will work out ok. I hope it really does. Thanks for all your advice, hopefully this is a turning point in our relationship after 6 months I hope to find out where I stand.

bellend · 29-09-2005 3:37pm

well dont get ur hopes up cause he could turn around and want to break up with u so be prepared.. he does sound like hes using u and being 34 he aint getting any younger.. what really has he to offer bar money and security

dublinhottie · 29-09-2005 4:14pm

Its not about what he can give me material wise eg money & security. Couldn't give a F*ck about that. What I do know is that I love him more than anything else in the world, and I want to spend my life with him he is such an amazing person when we are together - I want that all the time. Ok i may be a sap for having my hopes up but I love him dearly.

Chucky the tree · 29-09-2005 8:31pm

bellend wrote:

well dont get ur hopes up cause he could turn around and want to break up with u so be prepared.. he does sound like hes using u and being 34 he aint getting any younger.. what really has he to offer bar money and security

Would you shut the **** up. the amount of useless bollox you have already posted is unreal.

how does it sound like hes using her? Why would going out with someone her own age be better? What could a younger person offer apart from "money" and "sercurity"?

MojoMaker · 29-09-2005 8:47pm

Bellend, seriously, reality check....helloooooo.

Back to the books and if you do well in the leaving you *might* get to college in which case you *might* get a decent job in which case you *might* find someone remotely interested in you and...bam....you're 34. :rolleyes:

Beyond about 21 (on both sides) it really doesn't matter what the age gap is, but I'm guessing anyone over 21 must seem really old to you

Nevyn · 29-09-2005 8:51pm

Chucky personal abuse will get you banned this is your final warning.

Do read the charter
have a nice day
Thaed

dublinhottie · 30-09-2005 9:03am

Well people, I met him last night and we talked things out and we are both going to carry on. He didn't realise that he had been so distant with me, he has only started a new job about a month ago and had thrown himself into that and didn't realise what he was doing. I suppose I have been a bit dramatic about it in a way and I only realised this when I spoke to him you see I had been so used to seeing him everyday at work - as that is where we met and I suppose I am just going to get used to it but he is going to make more of an effort with me - and he finally told me exactly how he feels so today I am over the moon. Thanks for all your advice folks greatly appreciated

Pack3t3rroR · 30-09-2005 9:19am

I am happy for you. Good luck for the future.

AARRRGH · 30-09-2005 9:52am

Communication problems - nearly always to blame!!

Glad to hear it went well.

Tiddlywinks · 30-09-2005 10:08am

Yay well done! thats so great hope it works out!

dublinhottie · 30-09-2005 11:09am

Thanks Tiddlywinks! I just hope everything goes good.

bellend · 30-09-2005 12:42pm

hey im glad things worked out cool for you, and as for the rest of u saying im not offering any help, which i actually think i am.

theres no point in sugarcoating anything. i was giving the girl a reality check, i know what blokes are like as i am one. i know exactly what they really mean when they say or act a certain way around girls who are confused.

also Thaed ur way to sensitive about somethings that are said on the boards. nothing that ive said warrants aban..

bellend · 30-09-2005 12:48pm

MojoMaker wrote:

Bellend, seriously, reality check....helloooooo.

Back to the books and if you do well in the leaving you *might* get to college in which case you *might* get a decent job in which case you *might* find someone remotely interested in you and...bam....you're 34. :rolleyes:

Beyond about 21 (on both sides) it really doesn't matter what the age gap is, but I'm guessing anyone over 21 must seem really old to you

ya see its all well and good to say that about some one you don't know, im 25, have a good job and have had many girlfriends in my time.

i hope by the time im 34, ill be mature enough to be with someone around my age or maybe late 20's.. 23 is too young for someone of that age.

there seems to be alot of people on here who have there head in the clouds and never face facts about realistic relationships.

Am I being a fool????

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