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Coping with depression..

  • 29-09-2005 10:36am
    #1
    Mr. Mini Me
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5 ✭


    My g'friend has been suffering from depression one and off since we met and with good reason she has a really hard time as a kid and it seems to be coming to the surface now. for months she was great and we have an absolute blast together! shes up for anything and we have a really good relationship. when times are good I want to marry her and have kids with her so its all pretty serious.

    the only prob is the depression which seems to flare up at night time. She gets scared and has flash backs from when she was a kid. but she takes it out on me! or at least it feels like that and at the moment she is going through a rough time and I feel I can't take anymore. She is so sorry and is always apologiseing for what she is doin but says she has no control and is trying. Sometimes she gets suicidal and its bloody scary.

    I feel really bad for her but I just want things to be 'normal' in sheer frustrtion I end up saying horrible things to her and telling her she is acting and putting in on but then when it all calms down I know she isn't because its not her at all.

    does anyway know the best way to handle this? I want to be there for her but I am tired of being the 'punch bag' (so to speak) :(


Comments

  • #2
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    PM sent


  • #3
    Vangelis
    Closed Accounts Posts: 719 ✭✭✭Vangelis


    It sounds like your girl really needs to 'let it out'. As far as I know, therapy is the best solution. Then she may learn how to cope with her fears and anger, and find relief. Try to stick with her all you can. It will be better some day!


  • #4
    g'em
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,819 ✭✭✭✭g'em


    I'm really sorry for both you and your girlfriend, its an impossibly tough situation to be in. For her, she feels like she's trapped ina world that whe doesn't know if she'll ever escape from, and you're stuck in limbo, tentaivley waiting on a day-to-day basis to see what mood she'll be in.

    Is your gf on any meds or talking to anyone? Depression is increddibly difficult to deal with without some sort of professional help. Certainly if there's issues there from her past, until they become resolved in her head, they'll conitinue to plague her and the depression will never entirely go away.

    Don't try to solve her problems, only she'll be able to do that. Unfotunately she may not be able to see what a great relationship she's in right now and how good it is to have somone so supportive standing by her, so as hard as it may seem, you'll have to stay patient and help her work through it on a day to day basis. Depression takes time to get over, there is no miracle cure. Even antidepressants can take up to 6 weeks to kick in.

    Stay strong for her, tell her how important she is to you, tell her you love her, make her feel safe and secure. She may throw it back in your face in the middle of a really bad episode, but chances are she's just so low she's scared to believe that there's actaully someone who could care about her so much. Think about the worst day you ever had, now mulitply it by ten, add in low self-esteem, mood-swings, a blinding inablity to look at the future. Its so not fun!

    Good luck to both of you, I hope things work out.


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