am i right??

katiegordon

Hey!
I was seeing (meeting, shifting whatever) this guy for a few weeks, it wasnt too serious.He asked me to go outwith him but i asked him could we leave it a while to see how things went first.
Anyway, thursday night we were supposed to be meeting up but he rang me and said he was babysittin so he cudnt come up.I thought it was strange that he didnt ask me to come down but said fair enuf and forgot about it.Later i rang him to talk but i rang a few times and he didnt answer his fone.Now his friends were gone out clubbin that nite so i started to tink mayb hes wit dem but hed have no reason not to tell me as its only a casual relationship and ive went out loads and told him.
Anyway he sent me a text sayin he didnt hav his fone his mam took it of him as he was in ****.I was like ok evn tho ur txtin me now....
Then his m8 txt me sayin i tink X(the guy) got his fone takin off him hes in **** i was like that is so wierd seen as his mate nvr even had my no.
Next day i was out with him, i was gonna say were ya out but he was tellin me how **** a nite he had stayin in.i gave him the benefit of the doubt.Then i was talkin to my friend who said she seen him out on thurs.I asked him and after a while of him lying he finally admitted it.
I got pissed off and told himi didnt want to see him again.The amount of detail he put into the lies really hurt me.Especially as there was no reason for him to lie in the first place he knows i am fine wit him goin out.
Now tho im thinkin was i too hard on him?I really liked him and his mates said hes really upset.

aidan_walsh

katiegordon wrote:

hed have no reason not to tell me as its only a casual relationship and ive went out loads and told him.

If its as casual a relationship as you claim, why would he have to tell you where he was going. He didn't want to see you that night, plain and simple. Why are you so worked up about it?

Jesper

Nope your dead right.
Now I'm a fella who could see the sense in what he did and can't say I never tried similar myself. On the plus side its probably the first time he's done it to you because he's story was so bad and riddled with errors that it was just clumsy. If he is going to go into that sort of detail at this stage it probably wont' get better. The old proverb about "changing your stripes" and all that.
And seeing that you weren't overly keen to go out with him its probably best you found out sooner than later.
If he did make a genuine effort and apoligised you could give him a second chance maybe but if I was you I'd leave him do the running. It'l prove a lot.
Hope that helps.

Seraphina

well he could have just told the truth, why did he bother lying in the first place?

i'd be a bit sketchy about that, i dunno its weird. he had no reason to lie, she has no problem with him going out, so why did he say he was babysitting?

tis a bit stupid alright, i can see where you're coming from katie, and i know myself i wouldn't go out with someone who lied so easily over something so stupid. what happens when you're talking about something serious? how can ya know he's ever telling the truth?
but i just dont like liars in general /me shrugs

katiegordon

wel thanks for the advice!aidan its not where he went its all the lies he made up that bother me.I didnt want to start fightin over it cause i know it mite sound like im osessive or sumtin but its not that way im just pissed off at how easily he could lie to me.

funk-you

it probably happened like this for him:
Had a night out planned with the boys and gets a call off you and thinks to himself that he cant just invite you along because he'll get abuse off his mates and doesn't want to have the awkward "i'm goin out" and the silence while he doesn't invite you. And so now the lie begins, as he's obviously crap at lying it turned into this ball of deceipt.

Either that or he's just a blatant liar.

Either way good luck with it.

Illegal Alien

He gave you the chance to make it exclusive, you turned it down.
The lads were heading out, and since you two were only having a fling, he decided he'll have a lads night, and pull, should the oppertunity arise, and if he told you, he ran the risk of you saying "oh, ill come along" and him having to hurt your feelings by saying "actually its more of lads night thing", Or of you coming along, and having no mates there, feeling like a bit of a tit, and he'd have to spend the whole night with you, even though he was planning gettin pis*ed with his mates and havin some craic.
You were harsh...it was no big deal..a white lie to spare your feelings.

No offence, but if i was him, i wouldn't want to go out with you now...you're like a fricken criminal mastermind!! :eek: Like your wan from scooby doo....

And he would have got away with it if it wasn't for those meddling kids!!

WhiteWashMan

katiegordon wrote:

Hey!
I was seeing (meeting, shifting whatever) this guy for a few weeks, it wasnt too serious.He asked me to go outwith him but i asked him could we leave it a while to see how things went first.
Anyway, thursday night we were supposed to be meeting up but he rang me and said he was babysittin so he cudnt come up.I thought it was strange that he didnt ask me to come down but said fair enuf and forgot about it.Later i rang him to talk but i rang a few times and he didnt answer his fone.Now his friends were gone out clubbin that nite so i started to tink mayb hes wit dem but hed have no reason not to tell me as its only a casual relationship and ive went out loads and told him.
Anyway he sent me a text sayin he didnt hav his fone his mam took it of him as he was in ****.I was like ok evn tho ur txtin me now....
Then his m8 txt me sayin i tink X(the guy) got his fone takin off him hes in **** i was like that is so wierd seen as his mate nvr even had my no.
Next day i was out with him, i was gonna say were ya out but he was tellin me how **** a nite he had stayin in.i gave him the benefit of the doubt.Then i was talkin to my friend who said she seen him out on thurs.I asked him and after a while of him lying he finally admitted it.
I got pissed off and told himi didnt want to see him again.The amount of detail he put into the lies really hurt me.Especially as there was no reason for him to lie in the first place he knows i am fine wit him goin out.
Now tho im thinkin was i too hard on him?I really liked him and his mates said hes really upset.

i tink 2 thngs.

1, u shld prbbly start using whoel wrds, and nt txt spk. r u 14?

2, dump him

jimmycrackcorm

You could have taken a positive approach to move the relationship forward by simply telling him that you felt you are worthy enough to be told the truth, that you are mature enough to accept his wish to retain independence and that in future he should have no fear to feel the need to lie to you - as you will happily accept his reasons.

Unless of course your use of txtspeak indicates that you really are fourteen and immature.

pickarooney

u shd ax him 2 go out wit u jst so u can dump him, coz now hes not ur bf n u cnt do it!!

The Bollox

well I persoanlly hate liars! I can't stand them, so if I were you I wouldn't give him a second thought, like was stated before, if he is gonna make one lie about not going out (and possibly because he wanted a lads night out) and then follows that up with a machine gun of sh1t lies, how will you know in the future if he is being genuine or not?

RoadSweeper

sounds like he's 14 and needs to grow up,
dump him!

HelterSkelter

katiegordon wrote:

...
Then his m8 txt me sayin i tink X(the guy) got his fone takin off him hes in **** i was like that is so wierd seen as his mate nvr even had my no.

Why are you not spelling your words correctly? Are there some letters missing from your keyboard? I can't understand what you are trying to say :rolleyes:

Zombrex

Firstly, WWM said, you ain't using a phone now, its very hard to read "txt" in a proper paragraph

Secondly, if you really like him, and this is really upsetting you (and him) are you sure this "isn't serious"? Maybe you should have a talk with him and find out what he wants and get his story, and then think of making it serious or forgetting about it completely

kittenkiller

Forget about him.
There's not enough time to be stressing about liars.
He had NO reason to lie but chose to anyway & badly!
He could've at least had the manners to do it right to avoid hurting your feelings if he was gonna do it at all.

Dump him & set him up with someone you don't particularly like!

dramaqueen

The issue isn't that he didn't want to go out with you it's the fact that he chose to lie to you about it.
He sounds like an immature kid who can't have an adult relationship, no matter how casual.
If he can't respect you, respect yourself and walk away.
Why would you want to be with someone so childish, especially if it is as casual as you say?
A casual thing with someone is definitely not supposed to have so much agonizing going on.
Stop stressing and cut off contact.

Nasty_Girl

Hey KatieGordon,

Trust me you are better off getting out of it now,

A relationship like that does not stay "casual" for long, one person always ends up in way too deep and it takes something like that to make you realise.

i was in a similar "casual" relationship before, i backed out when it got and he just manipulated that, upped his texts and interest in me, spent weeks telling me that us being together was the way to go, meeting, shifting whatever me every week and when I relented and agreed to commit (wasn't seeing anyone else at all during this time btw) he just started using the fact that I'd backed out once before as a "get pussy free" card. But it didn't end there...

Now I'll admit there was a pair of us in it and the begining but it soon got out of had with his excuse everytime "I thought we weren't serious" no matter what had been said since.

So my advice,
Don't bother.
And i wouldn't even try being "just friends" just yet either because that just leads to more bull****.

#15

I think you are right. Its the principle of it, he lied to you and i don't think that you should give him another chance. It was only casual, so its better to end it now before things get too serious for everyone.

Victor

WhiteWashMan wrote:

1, u shld prbbly start using whoel wrds, and nt txt spk. r u 14?

Perhaps you should stop bashing 15 year olds.

WhiteWashMan

Victor wrote:

Perhaps you should stop bashing 15 year olds.

isnt text speak a bannable offence?

aidan_walsh

WhiteWashMan wrote:

isnt text speak a bannable offence?

"Can get you banned" if persistant, according to the charter.

katiegordon

Sorry about the text speak its a habit!!
I havent beentalking to him since he text me once more saying he was sorry but that was just after it so i thought it best to give him the silent treatment.He hasnt been in touch since though i think hes avoiding me, coming out when im not etc.
I cant believe that i actually miss him i really didnt think i was so attached i dont usually get involved in relationships no matter how casual!!!Imtrying to convince myselfi didnt overreact cause i think if he got in touch now id accept his apology.But i dont want to as i hate the big web of lies he created over something stupid, not just to me but to all our mutual friends.

katiegordon

aw help i got a bit tipsy tonight and rang him i hope my number wasnt on!!
God i really miss meeting him, what should i do??I was so close to textin him which is so stupid cause he was wrong not me!!I dont know what im askin for i just need someone to help me not miss him so much!!!

Dave

How was he wrong exactly? You said it was a casual relationship, and that he asked you out, but you refused. So now that he hasn't shown interest in you, you're desperate for him again. Irish women :rolleyes:

Zombrex

Dave wrote:

Irish women :rolleyes:

Amen brother, amen

katiegordon

its so true though!We ALWAYS want what we cant have and when you have it you dont want it!

Femelade

Dave wrote:

How was he wrong exactly? You said it was a casual relationship, and that he asked you out, but you refused. So now that he hasn't shown interest in you, you're desperate for him again. Irish women :rolleyes:

he was wrong to lie...wether they were in a relationship or not.
it was a stupid and pointless lie...for no reason.

have u heard from him today katie, since your typsie phonecall last nite..?

i think you should just leave him at it, if you did get in a realtionship with him, you might find yourself analysing everthing he says....he's not a very good liar now, but boys live and learn and can get very good at lying....

katiegordon

Nope he hasnt been in touch and i havent seen him when i was out with friends or anything.His friend said it to me about me ringing him and i was so embarrassed, i washoping my no was off!I think its time to move on!

Zombrex

katiegordon wrote:

its so true though!We ALWAYS want what we cant have and when you have it you dont want it!

Thats not really a good thing, and no offense, a sign of immaturity when it comes to relationships. Think you need to have a long hard think about why you want him, is it just cause you can't have him?