Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie

Boy Racers - my first post on Humour Boards

Options
  • 11-09-2001 10:27am
    #1
    Miguel_Sanchez
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,417 ✭✭✭


    Taken from that IOL SlashEd site:

    BOY RACERS. You have a set of rules all of your own, lads. Here they are. Now, get out there and hurry up and kill/cripple someone. Preferably yourself & your pissed mates.

    a) It is compulsory for BOY RACERS to possess & drive (extremely badly) the naffest possible bottom-range three-door egg-beater they can possibly find. Tiny wheels, a ridiculous exhaust, and the slogan ‘NO FEAR’, ‘KENWOOD’, or just the make of the car must be emblazoned in tasteless red plastic letters across the rear window. (You don`t need to see out of it. Sure why in Jesus` name would you give a flying **** what`s behind you?)

    b) Said pansy egg-beater must be driven at 90mph at all times, which is usually the absolute top end for these things (unless on a hill). It is deeply non-virile not to be trashing your **** engine to bits whenever possible. Sure you live at home and you`re going to trade up to a Beamer 3-series as soon as you can afford the insurance. To hell with the engine/clutch/gearbox/tyres.

    c) It is compulsory for BOY RACERS to drive with front fog-lights on at all times, particularly when there`s no fog. It`s not just that you`re annoying all oncoming drivers - the real truth of the matter here is that you are, in fact, a jet fighter pilot, and your fogs make you look more, er, sort of ‘jet-ish’, you complete ****ing spa you.

    d) When driving in fog/heavy rain, it is compulsory for the BOY RACER to accelerate, while everyone else slows down. This shows your true manliness, and makes you look really big and clever.

    e) Beer, vodka, spliff, e and bad techno all vastly improve driving performance.

    f) You probably don`t read much, but if you did, you`d know that the newspapers are lying when they say that more than half of all road accidents are caused by arseholes like you, and all those photos of mangled motors they print are really stills from some Hollywood blockbuster, not real cars like your own.


Comments

Advertisement