Breaking Up By Sms

LegacyUser · 07-10-2005 3:52pm #1

I broke up with my bfriend by tx and now I want him back!!!!!! We were together nearly three years. He wont acknowledge me at all and after a month I know that I love him and I begged him to forgive me or even speak to me!!!! Am I really a bad person, do I deserve this ill treatment

dudara · 07-10-2005 4:04pm

It was a pretty nasty way to break up with someone, especially after 3 years together. He's probably pretty damn hurt by it

magpie · 07-10-2005 4:06pm

"ur dmpd - l8r"

LegacyUser · 07-10-2005 4:08pm

dudara wrote:

It was a pretty nasty way to break up with someone, especially after 3 years together. He's probably pretty damn hurt by it

pretty nasty the lowest of the low, sorry but what on Earth were you thinking and what did he do, you will need to give more information than that. Anywayz it was very wrong to end something like that unless he was a complete b@st@rd

Chrissie · 07-10-2005 4:13pm

Em, yes think you do deserve it.

There's no denying that breaking up with someone is a very hard thing to do, especially when you've been going out with them for so long.

It takes a lot of courage to do.

Saying that, after 3 years you should have had the decency to break it off with him face to face, he at least deserved that.

You can't blame him for ignoring you.

If you really want him back you've an awful lot of work to do (though you may have no chance at all!!)

Sorry if that sounds harsh, but what you did was harsh

murfie · 07-10-2005 4:14pm

He is dead right not to even want to talk to you! You broke up from a 3 YEAR!! relationship with a text! you didnt even think the relationship was good enough to actually tell him to his face.
You deserve the treatment he is giving you. :mad:

irlrobins · 07-10-2005 4:16pm

Ashamed Now wrote:

I broke up with my bfriend by tx

Ouch! thats harsh. Understandable how your ex is ignoring you. You have a lot of work ahead to try and get back into his good books.

Hope it works out for u.

LegacyUser · 07-10-2005 4:22pm

<snip> for 2 reasons

1. No nasty profanities
2. Avoid the text speak please

edanto · 07-10-2005 4:32pm

irlrobins wrote:

You have a lot of work ahead

Yeah that's it - he might forgive you, but you might have ruined it. Tell him (not too many times!) that you now know you made a bad decision (and why you think it was a bad decision) and leave it with him.

Don't do this by text - that's a really poor way to 'talk' about something so important. Try and meet up or else write him a letter.

Put yourself in his shoes - how long was his head wrecked before you decided you wanted him back? Can he trust you now? Tell him why.

And, hey the best of luck, if you guys are good together then be together.

~Leanne~ · 07-10-2005 4:51pm

What age are you???? My god to break up by text, i dont even think some one at school would do that???
Obviously your not mature enough to handle a relationship - he is probably better off without you - sorry!

pdunno · 07-10-2005 4:54pm

Breaking up by text after 3 years - that's just ****ing lousy!!

I wouldn't be surprised if he never spoke to you again!!

Childish and immature are the two words that spring to mind

alfa147 · 07-10-2005 4:55pm

haha u stupid girl... thats really low.. i bet hes off having the time of his life now.. forget about him..

LegacyUser · 07-10-2005 5:17pm

As you can see you will get very little sympothy here I for one totally agree with everyone here as I have been on the receieving end of a break up via email!And I am also male.You think the women would be more mature and honest and have some respect but I suppose its down to age too.My ex was 23 when she ended it

WhiteWashMan · 07-10-2005 5:23pm

well, in all fariness we all do stupid things sometimes, so i wont pass any comment on the break up by text.

however, why did you break up with him, and why do you now want him back?

ando · 07-10-2005 5:33pm

ouch, thats just cruel. I know I'd never want to see you again if you did that to me. I'd like to know what he did to deserve that treatment from you?

singlette · 07-10-2005 5:37pm

Everyone makes mistakes sometimes, were you upset about something and wound up? Its still no excuse but those who use text a lot actually tend to forget that its NOT for certain things .. like breaking up.

I use a lot of texts, never broke up with a text, but had some pretty heated discussion using it - this reminds me .. it isn't good

With regards to missing him, if he doesn't answer his phone (presume your not using texts anymore

) .. then try writing him a letter explaining to him that you are sorry for what you did and how you approached whatever it was (and don't launch into how U feel) ... if you want him back .. this is about how he feels.

I don't want to pry into why you dedcided to break up, whether it was just a hasty arguement gone wrong, or you genuinely felt he was not right for you. Do you want to get back with him for the right reasons?

LegacyUser · 07-10-2005 5:40pm

So I do deserve it. He didn't do anything, he plays sports alot but besides that he gave all his free time up to me. I started to go out alot more with my cousin who returned from America. We went to niteclubs and pubs, something I hadnt done in quite a while and the more I went out the more I thought I was missing out on being single.

My now ex boyfriend is an adorable man and I know I treated him badly by ending it the way I did. He even asked me to take it back a few days after I did it but I ignored him.

Now I see my mistakes and I need him in my life but he has probably done his best to forget about me. We got together 2 weeks before Halloween our aniversary is coming up and it is going to be a lonely one.

Im 24 by the way and from what i did a very stupid and lonely 24 year old.

kjt · 07-10-2005 5:48pm

Ashamed Now wrote:

I broke up with my bfriend by tx and now I want him back!!!!!! We were together nearly three years. He wont acknowledge me at all and after a month I know that I love him and I begged him to forgive me or even speak to me!!!! Am I really a bad person, do I deserve this ill treatment

You deserve it.
You clearly had no feeling for him if you could do something like that to him!

It might be slightly understandable if you's were going out only a week. 3years????

07-10-2005 5:57pm

Dumping by txt with someone you were with for THREE years is pretty ****ty. You claim to love him yet if you really did you wouldn't have dumped him in the first place. I think he has realised the type of person you are and has moved on to much better things.

Seraphina · 07-10-2005 6:27pm

Ashamed Now wrote:

I broke up with my bfriend by tx and now I want him back!!!!!! We were together nearly three years. He wont acknowledge me at all and after a month I know that I love him and I begged him to forgive me or even speak to me!!!! Am I really a bad person, do I deserve this ill treatment

yeah you're a bad person, and yeah you deserve this treatment. i'd have given you a hail of abuse before never bothering to speak to you again no matter how much you tried if you'd pulled something like that with me.
dont even bother trying, he's better off with someone who has enough respect for him and a 3 YEAR relationship to break up with him face to face.
you cant love him because you clearly have no respect for him, you're just lonely now without him. i hope he has the sense to not talk to you again.
harsh but true. i cant fathom how you expected to get advice or sympathy after doing something like that.

nobodythere · 07-10-2005 6:47pm

I don't think you're a "bad" person as such. Everyone does bad things sometimes, makes major mistakes and occasionally hurt people intentionally.

That said, it was a pretty MASSIVE mistake. Ask yourself the question, why did you post this? We can't help you in any way since you have offered very little information about the background of your relationship. Are you looking for a reassurance that what you did wasn't so bad? Or looking for some sort of moral punishment to alleviate your guilt?

How guilty do you feel about what you did? And can you give us some more background on your relationship and how you came to the decision to break up with him by text.

Capt'n Midnight · 07-10-2005 6:57pm

Did you give any reason ? , in which case you may be able to retract it.
If it was a "U R DUMPED" type thing you have nothing to take back.

Anyway the ball is in his court now so not much you can do.

When you say he won't acknowledge you at all is the communication by phone or in person ? If it's in person then game over. If you haven't seen him since then you might want to visit to explain your reasons for having broken up AND why you broke up that way. TBH it sounds like you have painted yourself in to a corner.

Chucky the tree · 07-10-2005 11:10pm

Personnally, i wouldnt piss on you if you were on fire.

So dont expect the ex to take you back any time soon.

Jimi-Spandex · 07-10-2005 11:38pm

I'd have to concur with most of the posters. That was a ****ty thing to do and tbh, I don't think you even want him back, you just want to be back in a relationship. If you cared about him you wouldn't have broken up by text.

If I was him, I wouldn't talk or even acknowledge you again.

Unfortunately there's nothing you can do about this apart from getting over it. The only thing that'll really help that is time

Karoma · 07-10-2005 11:43pm

Ashamed Now wrote:

Am I really a bad person, do I deserve this ill treatment

Yes.

Farls · 08-10-2005 12:06am

I think you just thought you were "untouchable" when out with your cuz, you were having so much fun etc that you felt you could do better. A trap a lot of us fall into.

Sending a text dumping him was bad, then ignoring him trying to get you back was worse again. Ok everyone has told you how bad/****ty it was to break up by text, but at the end of the day it was a mistake probably a badly thought out one. Was there a "text" arguement leading upto this or did you just send a single text?

I think you possibly could get him back, 3 years is nothing to be sniffed at. But as someone already said you might have ruined it now. I think your best bet could be to let him go and you never know, he might come round on his own. Pestering him won't help your situation IMO.

Its not a nice place where you are now, a brokenheart is bad when your dumped but breaking your own heart by dumping someone you love must really suck. At least I hope it does.

Hugh Hefner · 08-10-2005 12:48am

Jimi-Spandex wrote:

I don't think you even want him back, you just want to be back in a relationship. If you cared about him you wouldn't have broken up by text.

Aye. It sounds like you're in love with the idea, not the person. Maybe once you move on you can learn from all of this. Maybe this is all for the best. A relationship as long as yours could have ended up in marriage. And if that happened, and you weren't, as I suspect, in love with the man himself, then you'd have a failed marriage. This would of course be worse than what you have now. Look on the bright side, however concealed it may be.

Rotide · 08-10-2005 2:56am

As pathetic it may sound, hell probably take you back if you do enough toadying. What you did was dispicable but if hes that hurt, hell take you back. It wont last, especially after what you did, but youll get your comfort shag. Thats clearly all your looking for.

chern0byl · 08-10-2005 8:37am

Ashamed Now wrote:

I broke up with my bfriend by tx

I bet you have free 085 - 085 texts. Economics in all senses. Focking love it.

LegacyUser · 08-10-2005 11:31am

Say someone was messing with your phone.............

the_syco · 08-10-2005 11:46am

Lemme see: you dump him by text (lowest of the low), ignore his plea's for a relationship, give no reason, give him the cold shoulder for a month, and then think he should want you back with open arms?

I'd say there's no way in hell he's going to take you back, as it may leave him open to another dump-by-text.

Live and learn. Next time, say it to his face, or at least ring him.

chump · 08-10-2005 1:13pm

So you dumped him by txt as you wanted to get randy with a few ramdomers. You did. After having enough of getting off with the randomers you realised you missed your boyfriend, as with him there was more than just "getting off" and so now you want him back?

Straight question, how many people were you with in the meantime?

dudara · 08-10-2005 1:33pm

TBH, we all do make mistakes. But reading your second post makes me think that you just miss being in a relationship. You seemed to have broken up with him because you missed being single and now you miss being together.

The simple fact is that we don't always get what we want. You just might not get him back after this. Think about what you want, get all your reasons together and make sure that you want him back for the right reasons. If you're still convinced, write him a letter, or ask to see him in person, so that you can try to explain yourself. And be prepared to accept defeat.

nobodythere · 08-10-2005 1:39pm

There's only so much we can bash this girl before she comes back to answer the questions asked... I don't think she's coming back after this!

LegacyUser · 08-10-2005 2:47pm

grasshopa wrote:

There's only so much we can bash this girl before she comes back to answer the questions asked... I don't think she's coming back after this!

I am back and I want my baby back.I made a mistake.Im going to show him this thread.Thats if he hasnt deleted my email address.I love him and I need him.I cant believe I was this childish and I wish there was something anything to get him back

Raphael · 08-10-2005 4:34pm

Ashamed Now wrote:

I broke up with my bfriend by tx and now I want him back!!!!!! We were together nearly three years. He wont acknowledge me at all and after a month I know that I love him and I begged him to forgive me or even speak to me!!!! Am I really a bad person, do I deserve this ill treatment

Yes. 3 years and you broke up by text ffs. Only time I ever broke up by text was after about 3 weeks or so, and it almost ruined my frienship with the person. To do it after 3 years is appaling. I wouldn't be surprised if he doesn't talk to you again.

xzanti · 08-10-2005 4:57pm

Bitch! :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:

LegacyUser · 08-10-2005 5:07pm

xzanti wrote:

Bitch! :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:

I agree totally!happened to my best mate at CHRISTMAS!he was 18 months with her.left him for a guy who got locked up 2 months ago Im delighted for her.as for you and anyone who ends relationships like this you dont deserve your ex's back if thats whaT you want

Zombrex · 08-10-2005 9:55pm

Ashamed Now wrote:

I deserve this ill treatment

What "ill treatment"???

Did you expect him to come back running when you called? I hardly think he is being mean by not wanting to have much to do with you. I would say he is being sensible.

Ashamed Now wrote:

Im 24 by the way and from what i did a very stupid and lonely 24 year old.

Live and learn ... very crappy way to break up with someone, i could maybe understand if you were like 14 and going out for a week, but you are 24 and it was a 3 year realtionship and you don't even have the respect to tell your boyfriend in person with a proper justification. No offence, but I think you need a bit of growing up to do.

0utshined · 08-10-2005 11:25pm

OP,

The best thing you can do right now is to apologise to him, tell him you're sorry and wish him the best. The way you broke up with and treated him smacks of immaturity and you would probably both do well to spend some time apart. Maybe you'll get back together in a few years but in the meantime you, and possibly him, have some growing up to do.

jellie · 09-10-2005 12:16am

wow, im actually just kinda shocked that anyone would have that little respect for someone after 3 years

Santa Claus · 09-10-2005 12:29am

I'd hope that this is a troll, I find it hard to imagine that someone could be so heartless / disrespectful to a partner of 3 years by breaking up with them by text !

nobodythere · 09-10-2005 3:05am

I'm guessing the mods aren't on patrol because they're in agreement with this (or they're just looking to round us up like sheep to ban us collectively!).

So I'll take out the baton... Right enough of this ****e. She's had 40 replies of it and it's not helping. So you had better watch yourselves... or there'll be bannings... by someone... other... than me...

OP I only hope that you will post more detail, you have been very vague in your information and the information you posted REALLY works against you. If you would like to talk about things here you'll probably get a much more friendly response if you give more information and aren't looking for any form of validation/punishment.

So in the words of Thaed,
Please Read the Charter,
Have a nice day.

grasshopa,
Unofficial powerless mod for the day

Zombrex · 09-10-2005 1:05pm

grasshopa wrote:

She's had 40 replies of it and it's not helping. So you had better watch yourselves... or there'll be bannings... by someone... other... than me...

Not "helping" what exactly ...

Her question was "Am I really a bad person, do I deserve this ill treatment?", and the resounding answer was "Yes, yes you do" (to the second part at least)

I don't think it is in the charter that all replies have to be fluffy and nice and tell the OP exactly what they want to hear. People have told her their truthful opinion to a question she asked. If the OP didn't want that she shouldn't have posted the question on an internet chat forum.

Faye · 09-10-2005 1:56pm

OP, you are obviously heartbroken and feeling very ashamed of yourself, I don’t blame you and in fact, my heart goes out to you. You made a mistake and are paying for it. Unfortunately, just because you acknowledge that mistake doesn’t mean that you will be forgiven. In my opinion, the fact that you were together 3 years or 3 months doesn’t really matter, what’s happened here is that you betrayed your partner without allowing him any chance to discuss it. You made a decision on your own that affected two people, this is not the way relationships work. You allowed him no redress.

One thing you say that makes me cringe, is that you intend to show this thread to your ex boyfriend. That to me, is about as selfish as one can get. Why would you further subject him to humiliation by showing him that you have discussed this debacle with total strangers. Please do not show him this thread for his sake. Try and think beyond your hurt and consider his feelings.

I feel for you. I have hurt people I love in the past and it is far, far worse than being hurt by someone. I hope that what you and your ex boyfriend shared together in the past will allow him the grace to forgive you, but that is his call. It is beyond your control. If you do need to contact him, do not fall into the trap of making it all about you. Acknowledge your mistake; tell him that you are sorry but also tell him you understand that it is his choice if he wants to contact you again. Then leave the man alone. He needs and deserves time to heal his wounds.

Femelade · 09-10-2005 3:27pm

Ashamed Now wrote:

I am back and I want my baby back.I made a mistake.Im going to show him this thread.Thats if he hasnt deleted my email address.I love him and I need him.I cant believe I was this childish and I wish there was something anything to get him back

ha
thats funny,
lets say this guy is sitting at home, thinking about you and wondering "maybe i should forgive her and take her back..."

then he checks his email and reads this thread that you sent him....
he'll read what most people in this thread said,
and he'll think "they are dead right..she dumped me after 3 years by txt, she ignored me for a month....fcuk her"

bad idea imo
oh and yes, u deserve to be treated this way.

LegacyUser · 09-10-2005 3:48pm

Guys .. think the OP gets the idea ..

Mr.Nice Guy · 09-10-2005 4:07pm

You broke up with your bf of 3 years by text?

What is the matter with you? If he has any sense, and it appears he does, he'll steer well clear of you.

LegacyUser · 09-10-2005 4:16pm

Anyone want to say the same thing in German now?? Come on ..

Mr.Nice Guy · 09-10-2005 4:35pm

bubby wrote:

Anyone want to say the same thing in German now?? Come on ..

What's your problem? Done a similar thing in the past have you?

Webmonkey · 09-10-2005 4:39pm

I have to agree with bubby, this is just repetition now

Breaking Up By Sms

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