Debs night

gaa247

I really like this girl.And i mean like her.I brought her to my debs.I was really hopin to actually get off with her and do it for the first time with her that night.I dont know if she wanted to or would go out with me.The debs night, i was too afraid to make a move and now my debs night will be remembered for possibly a missed opportunity to get off with the girl i always wanted to.I still want to get off with her and build a relationship.The thouights off her with and going out with someone else kills me.Have i missed my opportunity or should i keep tryin and ask her?Help.Iv been in turmoil ever since my debs

LegacyUser

Not at all! Pick up the phone and invite her out again! Doesn't have to be a Debs! Just becuase you didn't score on that particular night, doesn't mean you never will. If you feel this way about her .. then call her .. cinema .. go out for grub etc

Best of luck .. and hope the Debs was good, besides the lack of snog.


And by the way , the fact that she accepted your invitation to the attend the Debs .. means she more than likely thinks your okay. So, be confident in yourself and give the girl a call.

Amz

You thought you might have sex with a girl on your debs night yet had no idea if she liked you, or not?

Wow!

The mind boggles ...

Steoob

Amz wrote:

You thought you might have sex with a girl on your debs night yet had no idea if she liked you, or not?

Wow!

The mind boggles ...

dont be gay now... maybe it was just a bad phrasing.. "it" just probably means get off to him right??

Amz

How many boys of debs going age use the word "it" to describe kissing a girl?

LegacyUser

Amz wrote:

You thought you might have sex with a girl on your debs night yet had no idea if she liked you, or not?

Wow!

The mind boggles ...

Hasn't stopped many before .. so why the major surprise. Sure drive past Wesley in Donnybrook on a Friday evening .... they don't know either .. not stopping them!

Amz

They're not posting here though are they?

How in god's name are we supposed to know if she likes him? We've never met her, he knows her well enough to plan doing "it" with her and bringing her to his debs.

cjs19

Jesus man be grateful. I'll always remember my debs night as the night when my best mate scored my date and I couldnt handle it so I got so wasted that I scored his date to get back at him, big fight ensued. Anyway I went home alone that night too after thinking I was gonna be with this girl who I was mad about. **** happens. You have the chance to get her if you want, it just takes some courage. Call her, ask her out,she says no, so what. At least then youll know. It's better than limbo.

Scarinae

Go for it, call her up and ask if she wants to hang out, you've got nothing to lose - even if she says no, at least you won't spend the next few months wondering what might have happened. I'd warn you though that do NOT expect to have with her straight away, because unless she is a slapper she probably won't. You seem to want a relationship, well charging into it will not help

Jim

Amz wrote:

They're not posting here though are they?

How in god's name are we supposed to know if she likes him? We've never met her, he knows her well enough to plan doing "it" with her and bringing her to his debs.

Do you not realise how the posting age has dropped on this site?

Amz

My 14 year old brother wouldn't use the phrase "do it" to describe kissing someone. So age really has nothing to do with it.

My use of "Boys of debs going age" still stands.

gaa247

thanks.But what do i say to her to avoid sounding like a sad git.If i knew she would never have anyway, i can just say **** it and never think about it again.How should i approach her again?problem is im only 17 and going out to pubs and nighclubs is a bit of a no-no at the moment.Should i wait a few months?and what do i say to her?

LegacyUser

Have you not rung her yet??

"Hey, remember me .. was wondering if you'd like to meet up and go to the cinema"

No mention of shags, scores , thought you might etc

If she thinks your a git .. then shes a gitette!! Simple as that

RING HER .. GET SOME COINFIDENCE

Zombrex

gaa247 wrote:

thanks.But what do i say to her to avoid sounding like a sad git.If i knew she would never have anyway, i can just say **** it and never think about it again.How should i approach her again?problem is im only 17 and going out to pubs and nighclubs is a bit of a no-no at the moment.Should i wait a few months?and what do i say to her?

Here is exactly what you do ..

Ring her up (sooner rather than later) - A lot less embarrashing than face to face, but still much more of a confidence thing to do than texting (asking someone out by text makes it look like you are a little scared girl)

Say you had a great time at the debts and were wondering if she wanted to do something "this weekend" - Gives her options if she does have something on Sat or Sunday, but also gives a less embarrassing out if she really doesn't want to (which saves you both a lot of "umm .. ahhh" on the phone). If she says "I can't this weekend" that can mean she really doesn't want to, or she actually can't. What you do not say is "Ok next weekend then". Big no no. Don't pressure. What you should say is, "ok well if you are free sometime next week let me know, we can do something". That puts the ball in her court but doesn't pressure her for an anwser. She now knows you like her, and if she likes you back she can let you know.

Do not contact her again every 5 minutes wanting to know why she hasn't called?/does she want to go out?/did she get your message? etc etc - If you have done it right (above) and the ball is in her court then just leave it. If she likes you she likes you. If she doesn't you don't want to make a fool of yourself finding out for sure that she doesnt.

Don't worry about sounding all cool and casual, it is naturally to sound a little embarrashed when asking someone out. You don't need to go into big long chit chat bulls**t. What you want to avoid is sounding like you are desperate and especially making her uncomfortable. If it isn't happening, do not pressure it, just leave it. Don't ring her again or send her texts or anything, though trust me you will be tempted. I remember texting a girl appologising for just asking her out (she had said no thanks)! Seriously, what ever her answer, even if you **** up and only say "Umm, hi, umm bye" don't ring her again. Even if she says yes, don't ring her back in like 10 minutes to find out what movies she wants to see. Play it cool, contact her when you need too, don't come on too strong, you will scare her away.

Asking someone out is like a job interview. Even if you don't get the job you get the experience of the interview. Go for it, you got to start somewhere and if you crash and burn, then that is just life. It will suck for a few days but then you will be over it, and the next time will be easier. Try not to take it personally, cause it isn't, and just move on. Above all retain diginity at all times. Don't apologise, don't sound like you are doing something wrong, don't beg or try and guilt, try not to embarrass. Follow that and you will be fine even if she says no.

Trust me, asking somone out is the easy part. Wait till the date!!!! :eek: :eek: :eek:

gaa247

thanks.Youve helped.I might just do that now.Tis worth a try.nothing to lose.How do i handle rejection?Ask her to the cinema?good idea.The handiest and easiest question.

0utshined

gaa247 wrote:

thanks.But what do i say to her to avoid sounding like a sad git.If i knew she would never have anyway, i can just say **** it and never think about it again.How should i approach her again?problem is im only 17 and going out to pubs and nighclubs is a bit of a no-no at the moment.Should i wait a few months?and what do i say to her?

First off, believe in yourself a bit more, your whole post reeks of self-doubt. Don't stress about it so much, it's not a big thing. Give her a call and ask her how she's doing. Tell her you enjoyed the Debs with her and ask her if she wants to do something else with you. Zoo/Cinema/Shopping for jeans, it doesn't really matter. If she says yes then great, you get to go and spend time with her again, if she says no then it's no big deal. Depending on how she responds you're going to know where you stand.

Two more things,

1) No you shouldn't wait a few months. Do it tomorrow afternoon.
2) If all you're concerned with is doing "it" then get a fake ID and go to a nightclub.

gaa247

No shagging her is not all i want to do.Although it would be nice to after a while.I want to have a serious relationship with her and i am going to have to find the courage to ask her out to the cinema or sumthin.I just think the fact she actually went to the debs with me shows a possibilty there

0utshined

Yeah it probably does, depending on how you know her. The only way you're going to know for sure is to ask her to do something with you. It really is as simple as giving her a call and asking her to go do something with you. If she says yes then go have a good time, if no then at least you know but if she's willing to got to the debs with you it should be alright.

gaa247

Thanks for your help.Appreciate it.If she says no i couldnt bear the thought of passing her and her friends in the street.It would be awkward and embarrassing.But anyway im goin to ask her 2moro nite and post the result on this thread.I dont know where iv got this courage but its come from sumwhere!

0utshined

gaa247 wrote:

If she says no i couldnt bear the thought of passing her and her friends in the street.It would be awkward and embarrassing.

But anyway im goin to ask her 2moro nite and post the result on this thread.I dont know where iv got this courage but its come from sumwhere!

I can see where you're coming from on this but really there's no reason to feel that way. She went to your Debs with you so she likes you in some way. Believe in yourself. If she says no then so what? She's missed out on a great afternoon/night out in your company and it's her loss. Why would it be awkward or embarrassing walking past her friends? Maybe her friends would be impressed by the fact that you're the type of guy who would ask out a girl you like and would like to meet you.

Make sure you do call her tomorrow

Endurance Man

Go for it , every1 above me has explained why so im not gonna bore you any more of my crap, but "Those who dare, WIN". Nothing to loose.

Zombrex

gaa247 wrote:

Thanks for your help.Appreciate it.If she says no i couldnt bear the thought of passing her and her friends in the street.It would be awkward and embarrassing.But anyway im goin to ask her 2moro nite and post the result on this thread.I dont know where iv got this courage but its come from sumwhere!

The way to think about it is "Why is it embarrassing?" ... you only think it would be horrible if she turned you down because you are already full of self doubt ... in reality people ask people out and get turned down all the time, its not a big deal. don't take it personally, it doesn't mean you are some horrible dateless freak, it just means she doesn't fancy you ..

i would bet you know tons of nice friendly girls that you just don't fancy, it doesn't mean anything. Doesn't mean there is anything wrong with them, doesn't mean they will never meet someone nice just cause you don't fancy them .. reverse that around, just cause she turns you down doesn't mean anything ... Hell you might find out she is in fact a boring bitch, and in 6 months you will be thinking "F**k, why did I ask her out"

It shows far more confidence and maturity to simply say "Fair enought" and brush it off. And if you stop worrying about being turned down you will find it easier to actually ask people out in the first place.