Best Live Onstage Quotes...

el tel

"Belfast...you've got the best restaurants!"
Dick Valentine, Electric Six

MrJoeSoap

fortuneg wrote:

While The Hives were playing Witnness a few years ago the front man asks the crowd...

Hives Front Man: "Who Loves The Hives?"

Crowd: "woooo..."

HFM: "Who hates The Hives?"

C: "WOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!"

HFM: ".....Well **** you then!"

Also from The Hives, at Dublin Castle though...

Pelle: (Pointing at one part of Dublin Castle) Is this where the Irish royalty lives?
Crowd: Noooooo!
Pelle: (Pointing at another part of Dublin Castle) Is THIS where the royalty lives?
Crowd: Nooooooo!
Pelle: Of course not, the royalty lives right up here, on stage!

Great band for an ego and some good banter. Shame about their music.

TLB

Greetings from Canada! Very happy to have found these forums and instantly, this thread stuck out for me. Here's just a few of the thousands of quotes uttered by the poet/lead singer of the greatest band from our vast land. Their live shows are beyond phenominal, and if anyone would like further elaboration I'd be happy to oblige; just ask.

"Here's a song about a window-washer who saw a corporate executive boffing his secretary. He saw too much! The corporate executive leans out the window, snips the wires. He plunges 48 stories to his death, all the way with a massive erection. With the time he had left, the split second, the fractions of seconds he had left on the face of this planet, he chose to fantasize about a woman and had the most incredible orgasm of his entire life as he hit the ground."

"This song is sort of a peace-keeping mission gone horribly awry. Led by Marlon Brando, a rag-tag group of peace-keepers decide to stay behind enemy lines, open up a gated community of their own with their Polynesian princesses. 'Who's in charge here? Ain't you?'"

"We rode the burrows, asses, donkeys, whatever you want to call them. We got to the floor of the canyon around 5:30. We sat around the fire and the fire went out. So we gutted the burrows, the asses or the donkeys and pulled their innards out, and Jon Krakauer made another million dollars and we ate sand..."

"Is there some kind of unrest in the pit? Is there some kind of problem with your view? What's wrong? Please, I want to know because you can't keep giving me the finger and expect me to go on with the show. It has an effect. How could it not? I could try to ignore you, but that's not the ticket you bought. And what about your friend, young Castro? Where'd he go? That's how Milosevic started."

"Thanks for doing that, that last little car-driving pantomime at the end with me at the wheel and Paul by my side. And I know what you're thinking to yourself: 'how come Paul's not driving?'"

"It's just a sense of tumolt, just a sense of unease coming through the trees. No, I probably shouldn't have said it out loud. There's nothing to worry about, just a little bear problem. You say 'barracuda' people go 'huh?'. You say 'shark' and you've got full scale panic on your hands. That's the last of the 70's drive-in movies that I will cite for you or use as subtext in any way resembling characters or fictional people of the past.
"What have you got for us Tom?"
"We've got a burning church. It's a cathedral style church made of cedar, it's about 115 years old Jim. Wow, it's quite impressive with a black billow of smoke in the air. Inside there's a gospel choir going 'wooooo, don't treat me so bad'."
"It's really quite mournful and beautiful Tom, back to you."

Rustar

TLB wrote:

Here's just a few of the thousands of quotes uttered by the poet/lead singer of the greatest band from our vast land.

The Guess Who got back together? Wahooo!

Undergod

...poet/lead singer of the greatest band from our vast land...

Arrogant Worms?

TLB

Rustar wrote:

The Guess Who got back together? Wahooo!

I know of many great Canadian bands, most of which have earned massive success throughout the world. Fortunately, this band isn't nearly as dated or far-reaching as bands like TGW. They've always been our biggest secret, to be hoarded for eternity. This bands fans really hate to share them, but I try to introduce them to as many inquiring minds as I can.

Undergod wrote:

Arrogant Worms?

Nope, sorry....not them. They're not Canadian, are they?
You must listen to some really obscure stuff.

Rustar

Hmmm....Chilliwack? Mahogany Rush? Neil Young and Joni Mitchell together live?

Love

Vile wrote:

The funniest quote I've seen was by some support band I can't remember the name of (they weren't great). I think it was at Anthrax in the Ambassador.

"Alright....everyone split into two sides, with a space down the middle, and turn to face one another. Now...when the song starts I want you to......"

*Wild waving of arms from the security people*

"...well...I can't tell you what to do....but I'm sure you have an idea."

Hehe... Legend.:D

mrbungle

TLB wrote:

Greetings from Canada! Very happy to have found these forums and instantly, this thread stuck out for me. Here's just a few of the thousands of quotes uttered by the poet/lead singer of the greatest band from our vast land.

Brian Adams, (oh course !!)

melekalikimaka

I also have to tell you about what happened on this tour. We played Chicago, and after the show, Suzi Gardner was the first woman ever to be plaster-casted by Cynthia Plaster Caster of Chicago. Cynthia's actually got quite the collection of cocks in plaster – of rock stars. And Suzi was the first tit cast for her new tit wing. Both of Suzi's tits have been cast separately.
Donnita Sparks - L7

MsMolko

Another Frontman of the Hives quote, from Cambridge in April

HFM-We are the last of the dying breed. The Tyrannosaurus Hives!

redmosquito

Eddie Vedder, in response to seeing most of a sold out Madison Square Garden (11/9/98) holdin up signs for Breath upon returning for the first encore:, (Hundreds of signs had been raised at the previous two shows)

"You ****ing cocksuckers. You ****ing bitch! You know, we come up here as a collective band and we give and we give and you just ****ing want more ... and you know what? You deserve it. This is like some kind of organized religion here; I've never seen anything like it. Do you see what's happening? ... the third night in a row, right? Well, **** you. We're gonna play it!"

Leading to the first playing of Breath since 11/4/94!!:D

Have it on DVD, quality!!

Blisterman

Lemmy was pretty funny, when I saw Motorhead in London last june.

"I'll say 'this is our last song', we'll go off stage, you'll start chanting, we'll come back and play 2 more", just before the third last song.
"Stop f**king throwing beer at me, or I'll come to your office and throw beer at you, while you're trying to work.

red_ice

The Free Man wrote:

Josh Homme at Oxegen:
'Do everything I say...'
then kicks into feel good hit of the summer.

That was soo cool!

Another good one, which i found very caring and considerate was dave ghroll's

'id like to take this time to remind you all to take care of each other out there tonight, and make sure everyone goes home *buuurrrrp* completely wasted!'


WOOOO
YEAAAA
ALRIGHT!! :v: :v: :v: :v: :v: :v:

grosser

motorhead on tour many years ago,had a wwII bomb(the kind dropped from b52 bombers) as part of the stage set up!anyway well playing in dresden(which suffered horrendous bombing in wwII) lemmy shouts out" hello dresden,bet you havent seen one of these in a while!"

Oeneus

Axl Rose in Leeds 2004 after people were shouting "Where's Slash?"

"In my ass! That's where Slash is! Go home!"

Frank Cronin

Hippo wrote:

Ian Dury and The Blockheads gig in the Olympic Ballroom in Dublin about 1981, their publicist and MC Kosmo Vinyl comes onstage to introduce the band to an expectant packed house and roars into the mic, "Good Evening Belfast!" Nearly right....

****, memory lane, i remember that, Camden St!

Flipflip

thejovialhost wrote:

Gary Lighthouse of Snow Patrol last december in the RDS:
''Kylie Minogue has a song called chocolate too. She's never heard of Snow Patrol. Fúcking Bitch.''
LOL , such cheers when he said that

Hehe, that was very funny, although I think she said they were boring.

I dunno if anyone heard me, but after he said that, there was a little pause between when he said that and when he said "****ing bitch!"

In that pause, I shouted at the top of me voice, "****ing bitch!!!" and I am convinced I inspired him to say it! hahah!
Eddie Vedder
At the Detroit, MI 8/23/98 show, a stagediver made his way onstage and was being led off by Eric Johnson when Ed called him back. He said something to the effect of:

"I'm ****in' sick of you people who think you can just jump on stage. You think you can just jump up here, with that awful ****ing hair cut [it was a mullet cut, long in the back and short on the top]. Do you want it long or do you want short? Make up your ****ing mind. You're probably from ****ing Canada! What's your name? Steve from Toronto, see I ****in' told you!"

He then proceeded to cut off his long hair with a pair of swiss army knife scissors, held the hair above his head in triumph, and gave it back to the guy, who then ran off to the back of the stage. It later turned out to be a setup and the guy was a crew member, but it was damn funny!

redmosquito

Eddie Vedder, MSG 1 '03:
"If it wasn't for the Buzzcocks, who knows, we might sound like Good Charlotte or something. Oh no, they're good :rolleyes: its just it sounds like, it sound like, well it tastes like a popsicle that been stuck up someones ass"

Or something like that!!

Quality sarcastic phrase before launching into a savage version of Sonic Reducer with Tony Barber!!

Flipflip

Thats actually my least favourite song on Live at the Garden.

If