help

LegacyUser

help,
ive ****ed up big, just had a baby with the girl of my dreams, i loved her so much, problem being we broke up during the pregnancy. now shes treating me like crap and we barely talk, im so wrecked by this i cant think straight, i wake up upset, feel really ****.

ithe babys fasntastic i love it. but i dont know what to do anymore

katiegordon

Aw thts a really ad situation does she still let you see the baby?Did you do something to hurt her that shes so pissed off with you?

Femelade

why did ye break up? did u do something to make her treat you like crap?
do you get to see the baby?
maybe u shouldnt call your son/daughter "it"

LegacyUser

sorry, i shouldnt have called him it. hes fantastic, nothing happened, neither of us did anything wrong or bad then it all went wrong, i get to see him but only when suits her social life which is a pain cos i in meath and shes in dublin and last minute rushes in the car are irratating

LegacyUser

Femmy wrote:

maybe u shouldnt call your son/daughter "it"

Maybe you shouldn't pick the negative! Obviously a typo.

Binomate

Why did you break up in the first place? Would marriage or moving in with her be out of the question?

LegacyUser

we just kinda fell apart, i wouldnt have ruled them out

Illegal Alien

So what advice do you need? I mean it's a clear cut situation in my eyes, you need to arrange a meeting with her, for your childs sake, she's not going to refuse that, and get your points across, hear her point of view on the situation also.

Try and figure out together why you broke up, and let her know how you feel, ask her how she feels, tell her you want a future with her, and that you have both just gone through a stressfull time, and you have a child together now, isn't it worth giving it another shot...a clean slate?

Ask her what she needs, what she wants. Maybe she felt isolated, abbonden, scared....whatever, maybe she needs a commitment from you? Or maybe she feels overwhelmed, pressured, and trapped...maybe she needs space and time to adjust to this life changing event.

You'll never know unless you have these discussions together, and you both have such a massive responsibility together now, these are issue that must be adressed. If you love her, tell her, If she loves you, give her whatever it takes to make it work.

If not, well maybe in time, once you can both adjust to this new life. But you should at least use the meeting to agree on definate days you can be with your son, preferably together with her for your sons sake, but if not, maybe to take him to your familly or the zoo or whatever people do with kids...sorry, i'm a bit clueless in that respect, it's all ahead of me.


But good luck. If needs be, write down everything you want her to know, everything you want to know, and ask her to do the same. And then you can work thorgh this together.