Good Pilot Philosophies / Military Words Of Wisdom

Capt'n Midnight

Cluster bombing from B-52s is very, very accurate-the bombs always hit the ground.

"You, you and you: panic. The rest of you, come with me."

A Purple Heart just proves that you were smart enough to think of a plan, stupid enough to try it, and lucky enough to survive.

A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you least expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what's left of your unit.

Any ship can be a minesweeper... once.

Bravery is being the only one who knows you're afraid.

Combat will occur on the ground between two adjoining maps.

Don't draw fire, it irritates the people around you.

Don't ever be the first, don't ever be the last and don't ever volunteer to do anything.

Don't look conspicuous: it draws fire.

Five second fuses only last three seconds.

Friendly fire - isn't.

If God had meant for us to be in the Army, we would have been born with green, baggy skin.

If it's stupid but works, it isn't stupid.

If the enemy is in range, so are you.

If you can't remember, the Claymore is pointed towards you.

If your attack is going well, you have walked into an ambush.

Incoming fire has the right of way.

It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed.

Make it too tough for the enemy to get in and you can't get out.

Mines are equal opportunity weapons.

Never share a fox hole with anyone braver than you.

Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do.

Never trust a private with a loaded weapon, or an officer with a map.

No combat ready unit has ever passed inspection.

Odd objects attract fire - never lurk behind one.

Push to test. Release to detonate.

Sometimes I think war is God's way of teaching us geography.

Teamwork is essential; it gives the enemy someone else to shoot at.

The difficult we do immediately. The impossible takes a little while longer. - Navy Seabees

The easy way is always mined.

The more you sweat in peace, the less you bleed in war.

The side with the simplest uniforms wins.

There is no such thing as an atheist in a foxhole.

Those who beat their swords into plowshares will plow for those who don't.

Tracers work both ways.

Try to look unimportant, they may be low on ammo.

We are not retreating, we are advancing in another direction.

When in doubt empty the magazine.

Without the firing pin, Mr Grenade is not our friend.

When you're short of everything but the enemy, you're in combat.

Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons!

===========================================


The difference between a duck and a co-pilot?
The duck can fly.

A checkride ought to be like a skirt--short enough to be interesting, but long enough to cover everything.

Speed is life. Altitude is life insurance.

It only takes two things to fly: airspeed, and money.

The three most dangerous things in aviation:
A Doctor or Dentist in a Cessna
Two captains in a DC-9.
A flight attendant with a chipped tooth.

Aircraft Identification:
If it's ugly, it's British.
If it's weird, it's French.
If it's ugly and weird, it's Russian.

Without ammunition, the USAF would be just another very expensive flying club.

The three best things in life are a good landing, a good orgasim, and a good bowel movement. Anight carrier landing is one of the few opportunities to experience all three at the same time.

The similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots?
If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies.
If ATC screws up, the pilot dies.

It's better to break ground and head into the wind than to break wind and head into the ground.

The difference between flight attendants and jet engines is that the engines usually quit whining when they get to the gate.

New FAA motto: "We're not happy, til you're not happy."

A copilot is a knothead until he spots opposite direction traffic at 12 o'clock, after which he's a goof-off for not seeing it sooner.

If something hasn't broken on your helicopter--it's about to.

I give that landing a 9 . . . on the Richter scale.

Basic Flying Rules:
1. Try to stay in the middle of the air.
2. Do not go near the edges of it.
3. The edges of the air can be recognized by the appearance of ground, buildings, sea, trees and interstellar space. It is much more difficult to fly in the edges.

Unknown landing signal officer to carrier pilot after his 6th unsuccessful landing attempt: "You've got to land here son. This is where the food is."