Survival

Volvagia

heres another joke i got in an email.

The SAS, the army and the police decide to go on a survival
weekend together to see who comes out top. After some basic exercises,
the trainer tells them their next objective is to go down into the woods
and come back with a rabbit for tea.

First up are the SAS. They don their infra red goggles, drop
to the ground and crawl into the woods in formation. Absolute silence for
5
minutes, followed by a single muffled shot. They emerge with a rabbit,
shot cleanly through the forehead.

"Excellent" says the trainer.

Next up are the army. They finish their cans of lager, cover
themselves in camouflage cream, fix bayonets and charge down into the
woods,
screaming at the top of their lungs. For the next hour the woods ring
with the sound of machine gun fire, mortar bombs, hand grenades and
blood-curdling war cries.

Eventually, they emerge, carrying the charred remains of a rabbit. "A bit
messy, but you got a result. Well done" says the trainer.

Lastly, in go the coppers, walking slowly, hands behind backs, whistling
Dixon of Dock Green. For the next few hours, the silence is only broken by
the occasional crackle of a walkie talkie: "sierra oscar lemur one,
suspect
headed straight for you" etc. After what seems an eternity, they emerge,
escorting a squirrel in handcuffs.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" asks the incredulous trainer.
"Take this squirrel back and get me a rabbit, like I asked you 5 hours
ago!"

So back they go. Minutes pass. Minutes turn to hours, day
turns to night. The next morning the trainer and the rest of the crew are
awakened by the police, holding the squirrel, now covered in bruises.
"Are you taking the p*ss?" asks the seriously irate trainer.

The police team leader shoots a glance at the squirrel, who squeaks:
"Alright, alright, I'm a f**king rabbit..."

Pugsley

Originally posted by Volvagia
Next up are the army. They finish their cans of lager, cover
themselves in camouflage cream, fix bayonets and charge down into the
woods,
screaming at the top of their lungs. For the next hour the woods ring
with the sound of machine gun fire, mortar bombs, hand grenades and
blood-curdling war cries.
Eventually, they emerge, carrying the charred remains of a rabbit. "A bit
messy, but you got a result. Well done" says the trainer.

ROFLMFAO
pld vol

Volvagia

Thx pugsley. ahh that will always make me laugh!

elexes

tis a gud un

nowz go out da ladz and kill the ummiez

Volvagia

lol

Pugsley

Originally posted by elexes
tis a gud un

nowz go out da ladz and kill the ummiez

Obviously collects Orks in warhammer :D

azezil

ROFL sounds about rite

po0k

WHAAAAAAAAAGH! GAAALWEH!
(Galway Lan spammage)

l337 joke imo

Volvagia

Just because of theres gonna be another lan in galway gives you no reason to spam!