Should my heart be broken?!?!?

LegacyUser

Okay, just want to get some feedback on the following situation.

Around the start of the year, a girl joined my local sports club and we hit if off immediately. We just remained friends within the club and never socialised outside of it, as she was very busy with college stuff. Though around April, I asked her out as mates so I could get to know her outside of the club etc. Maybe see if the relationship could grow etc. Unfortunately, she told me was seeing someone, and she never told me before because she didn't want me to know. Why I don't know, must be a girl thing!!!

The following week, nothing changed we remained friends and got on with things just as if nothing happened. Then with her having college exams, she wasn't at the club for the rest of April or May. So we never saw each other for a good while.

But then at the start of the summer we met up again and decided to join a different club together and hit off again. Again, remaining friends within the club and eventually, having a few drinks over the coming wkds. By this time, we were heavily flirting away without actually doing anything. Was kinda a game to see how far we could take it without actually doing anything. Then, I said something (can't remember what), but it got the response that again, she was seeing someone (who she again, didnt want me to know about).

During this time, this boyfriend was away travelling and she started hanging out with me alot more. Due to a family death I had to go away for the funeral etc and was feeling really down and when I came back she offered to lend a shoulder, so to speak to cheer me up, while out having a few drinks with other friends in the local. We then hit a nightclub in town and were having a great time. She then came up and made a move on me which I backed away from (even though I didnt, it feel right cause she was seeing someone whom she told me she was going to break up with, talk about being respectful, i think anyway, plus I wasn't expecting anything considering), she then stormed out of the club, I followed, we had a major argument with the words "never want to see you again", "don't touch me" (tried giving her a hug calm her down), you get the picture.

So after a while, and bit of cooling down, we made up and went back to my place and slept together (as friends...nothing happened...unbelieveable, but true, again, prob my fault cause she was teasing me again with the flirting).

Anyways, she was seeing someone. Back at the club, talk about tension in the air. She then tells me that while I was away from the club, all of one night, she started talking to some other guy in the club and was starting to get on with him. She had also told me what had happened was wrong as she "never saw me that way" (boyfriend that is). So things went a little bit sour between us, the flirting stopped, and we only spoke the odd time. After a couple of weeks she started seeing this other guy, and are now going out and talking of moving abroad.

Basically, I can't stop thinking about her and that stupid moment of madness that has caused this problem. Even though nothing happened between us she really has broken my heart, sure I would have loved to have something happen between us, we never even kissed even though we shared the bed together, but now that chance is surely come and gone. I believe it to be a case bad timing on her part, am I wrong? Did I do the honorable thing, or should I have had a one night of fun ;p with someone who says they would but hadnt at the time break up with her boyfriend.

As it stands, shes not one for talking about her feelings, but said we should go our seperate ways. Back at the club we stopped talking completely, staying opposite side rooms etc, catching the odd glance of each other. So one night I text her saying we should at least be civil and speak to each other. Which is kinda where were at at the min.

Sorry for the rant, maybe someone can shed some light. I know I should prob move on, but I have a small circle of friends and find it really difficult to meet new, single girls to possible date. Don't get me wrong, there's been opportunities to ask girls out, but none of them have ever had that certain magic/sparkle/shine (whatever you want to call it)

I had another missed opportunity with another girl a couple of years ago who had that magic, but thats a different story with different circumstances and outcomes.

Anyways, if you've made it this far. Sorry for the rant.

Should my heart be broken???

Chrissie

Ok, we're only hearing 1 side of the story, she could have a completely different story but from what you've said it sounds like she was just f**king with your head.

I think it's better for you to forget about her & try to meet someone who doesn't want you as their puppet whose strings they can pull whenever they feel like a bit of fun.

She doesn't sound V nice at all tbh.

Of course you should feel heart broken, she let you dangle around for ages, flirting with you, making you think your prize was in reach & then snatching it from you just before you get it, again & again, you always having hope that some day you'll get there & then she tries to make out that she never was interested in you that way.

Good Riddance I'd say. Like you said, there was a girl once before, there'll be another girl again & this time she'll deserve you.

I think this is the best outcome in this situation as if she'd started to see you, you'd know she'd be flirting in the same way with someone else, as she was doing on all these ex's you talk about.

Lucky escape for you I'd say, move on.

ianmc38

Should my heart be broken???

Yes.

pickarooney

Don't beat yourself up over it, you never had a chance from day one. She liked the attention you gave her, and deliberately didn't set you straight about her boyfriend so you'd continue to give it. It can sometimes be hard, but you need to be able to tell when it's flirting for flirting's sake and when it's flirting as a come-on. I'd say in reality you do, but kept a hope that there was something more (don't we all).
The only thing you may have missed out on is a drunken grope, and you'd scarecely be any happier with that as the summit of your relationship, I daresay.

I don't know what you consider a heartbreak, but she kind of broke your balls, and you kind of let her. There's not a whole lot evil about the way she acted, she didn't fancy you but enjoyed your company and attention, whereas you wanted more, and maybe should have realised the unrequited feelings would cause grief later.

WhiteWashMan

dude, your were a mate at best with this chick.

why would your heart be broken?

pick yourself off the floor and dust yourself down and get on with it and stop wasting your life thinking about what could have been.

Les_Paul

she seems like a complete tease man a twat and i wouldnt give her a second though she knew how u felt and when she couldnt have u in club she stormed out ? why would a woman do that if u werent boyfriend material ? she did like you but acted way to immature.

look at it as her mistake and her fault not yours but if u need closure ? just call her and tell her and find out

cant hurt can it ? pm if u chat to her

LegacyUser

Chrissie wrote:

Ok, we're only hearing 1 side of the story, she could have a completely different story but from what you've said it sounds like she was just f**king with your head.

Well, from what I can gather, her side of the story would be that she never saw me any other way than just being a really close friend. But then why would she make a move and make things weird between us, though to be honest I would of let things happen if it wasnt a case of bad timing.

Chrissie wrote:

I think it's better for you to forget about her & try to meet someone who doesn't want you as their puppet whose strings they can pull whenever they feel like a bit of fun.

Thats my problem at the minute. I'm currently not working, and my mates aren't exactly sociable, maybe we meet up once every three/four weeks or something for a night out. And also, I don't believe you can meet someone in a nightclub on a drunken night out, though I can easily go out and not drink. Though about tyring to get a new group of friends etc by joining a club or nightclass but, would feel lonely joining by myself.

Chrissie wrote:

She doesn't sound V nice at all tbh.

Thats what my mates are saying to me, but they've never met her.

Chrissie wrote:

I think this is the best outcome in this situation as if she'd started to see you, you'd know she'd be flirting in the same way with someone else, as she was doing on all these ex's you talk about.

That probably wouldn't bother me, flirting is harmless unless you act upon it, which she did.

CarolLorraine

ianmc38 wrote:

Yes.

A little bit harsh but unfortunately true. She's obviously a selfish cow who laps up the attention wherever she can get it to boost her self-esteem. Loads of girls do it so beware of that behaviour in future.