Baptism, religion etc

Leax

Hello,

I often read the boards but haven't posted before. I posted this on another forum, and thought maybe there would be more opinions to be had over here too: 0)

I am wondering what the different perspectives are out there re baptising babies, requiring baptismal certs for some schools etc.

I am not religious, though 'brought up' RC, do not practice. My instinct would always be not to baptise, but having thought long and hard about it it is not that simple it seems. My OH doesn't feel as strongly about it either way but and would lean towards seeing it as something you just do. In laws feel strongly about it. Also I have questions like if i didn't baptise where does that leave the child if they are in an RC primary school when others are making their communion & confirmation are raised. On the one hand it makes sense to let a child choose their faith when older, but at the same time I don't want a child to have to be the odd one out. There are options for primary education with Educate Together schools which are non-denominational.
My understanding is that many secondary schools, though they take all denominations, give first preference to RC baptised children, and as schools are often over-subscribed this would seem an important consideration.
It is not as straightforward as me feeling hypocritical for baptising a child based on my own beliefs. OH opinion, and the effect on the child need to be considered too. I would love to hear the opinions of others who are perhaps not religious and have had to make decisions regarding issues like the above.

Thanks!

RainyDay

We were in a similar position and decided to get our daughter baptised, simply because not doing so would definitely have pushed her down to the bottom of the priority list for most of the local schools.

0lordy

Similar situation, though with me not bothered, OH definitely wants kid to be RC.

I would like my kids to be taught a formal religion of some kind for 2 main reasons: they will be able to make some kind of informed choice down the line as to whether to practice that religion, some other religion or no religion; also, learn some sense of the practical or humanist aspect to that religion, i.e. know the difference between right and wrong and how to treat other people with respect.

Hadn't thought of what appears to be discimmination against non-RCs in the education system, though I guess schools part-funded by the Catholic church would doubtless be biased towards RCs.

iguana

I can understand why people do it, especially due to the school issue. But bear in mind the church does use it's baptism figures when calculating what percentage of the population is RC and then uses these figures as a political tool.

And you can never, ever be removed from this register once baptised. I tried for months when I was in my early 20's. I really resented my parents at the time too, we had quite a few arguments about it. The thing that made it worse was that that they aren't religious so they did it as a matter of course rather than because they believed in it.

Of course I got over resenting them, and most kids aren't the dogmatic, pain in the a**e kid, that I was at that age.

OfflerCrocGod

Let the baby decide.

RainyDay

0lordy wrote:

I would like my kids to be taught a formal religion of some kind for 2 main reasons: they will be able to make some kind of informed choice down the line as to whether to practice that religion, some other religion or no religion; also, learn some sense of the practical or humanist aspect to that religion, i.e. know the difference between right and wrong and how to treat other people with respect.

Isn't there a contradiction here? If you want them to make an informed choice, then surely you'd want them to learn about all religions, not just one - particularly one that says it's the duty of all RC's to convert the poor heathens to the one true path (i.e. RC). I'd far prefer to see my little girl learning about all religions.

CerebralCortex

Seems very unfair on the child no matter how you look at it but I'd be leaning towards not baptising. I mean Jesus wasn't baptised til he was a grown man.

Kernel32

I live in the states so I don't have the school issue. I was amazed to hear from friends of mine back home about the issues with schools and non catholic children. Its unbelievable this is happening in this day and age.

I did struggle with baptism for my son though. My mother is very catholic and I was raised catholic. My wife wasn't raised with any religion. I have no interest in it at all. When our son was born my wife was the one who was more vocal about having him baptised. Her reasoning was if we returned to Ireland he would fit in better. I firmly did not want him baptised. My position was that if neither of us were devout catholics then we would be hypocrites to baptise him. I can't fathom the logic behind baptising your child into a faith you yourself are not 100% devoted to. Then again I don't have to battle with a school to have him admitted based on his religious affiliation.

Nevyn

My Children are not baptised.

This was and still is a big issue with members of my family;
from Aunts that lecture me to a sibling that lashed on guilt and emotional
blackmail stating that if heavens forbid either of them died the family could
not be able to mourn them as there would not be a proper funeral.

The are not pffically baptised but I do have a sneaky suspision that one or two
of the family have had at them with holywater as according to catholic dogma
anyone who has been confirmed in the holy spirit can baptise.

Now that my eldest is in 2nd class and most of the class is preparing for
the traditional holy communion he is pleased that he gets to choose if he wants to be chirstian or catholic or any othr religion he wishes.
He states he is curious about it and has asked can he go to the church on the day to watch and see what happens and be there to see his class mates.

We were lucky that we didnt have waiting list issues to get both the children
into the school.
But I would have prefered to have them in an http://www.educatetogether.ie/ School.

We still have to walk into the local catholic church grounds to go into the
main school gate.

0lordy

RainyDay wrote:

Isn't there a contradiction here? If you want them to make an informed choice, then surely you'd want them to learn about all religions, not just one - particularly one that says it's the duty of all RC's to convert the poor heathens to the one true path (i.e. RC). I'd far prefer to see my little girl learning about all religions.

Being brought up as a catholic does not exclude someone from learning about all religions.

CJhaughey

Our little boy was baptised, mainly because it was easier to do than explain to my wifes parents strong RC that he wouldn't be.
I am of no religion but my wife is RC non-practising, we discussed this and we felt that at his age it makes no difference to him, but a big difference to his grandparents (mothers side).
we will raise him as non-religious although this can be hard in rural schools.
He is only 12 mths so hopefully educate together will have a school locally for him when he is ready.

FatherTed

I am in an interfaith-marriage, my wife is jewish and I'm RC. We have learned to happily co-exist within our religions in our marriage.

Before kids, we went back and forth on how religion would play a part in our kids lives, toyed with the idea of both religions and even unitarian. In the end we decided to raise our kids jewish and we are very happy with our decision.

The only two aspects that are issues. One is that I am the only one in our immediate family who is not jewish and there are times when my kids have questions that relate to judism that I cannot answer, so I defer to the wife. The other issue is that my parents don't get it. I try to involve them and keep them up to date as possible but they don't seem to care or are uninterested in an important aspect of their grandchildrens' lives.

Overall though, I am glad that we chose this route. At first it did seem to be like a "loss" for me but as the kids get older and more involved that is not an issue anymore. Plus for me, I am learning more about their religion at the same time.

Wex1

The hypocrite versus the fitting in in schools issue is the crux. When my eldest was born my OH insisted on batisim though non practicing RC. I went along for peace's sake, but refused to mouth the prayers at the font (much to my father's utter disgust!)
10 years and 3 more kids later the tables have turned - OH doesn't want the RC thing but I actually bring them to mass occassionaly and have explained to them that if they want to be RC this is what they are supposed to do. 2 oldest have made communioun and been seriously devout about whole process. I went along with this completely. Now oldest doesn't want to go to mass - and that's fine.
A girl in his class is Muslim and he thinks this is great. (RC school by the way) She doesn't do religion and this is fine with the school. Her older sister in what was a convent and that's fine too.
Point is I'm glad that they were babtised, I'm a christian but not an RC (though was brought up in a strict RC family) The kids can decide what way they want to go. Its as meaninful or meaningless as you make it but you have to accept that the church doesn't like you to do it just for the sake of it and in fairness that's their job.