The Two Cows Guide to Political Ideologies

dannyd20

The Two Cows Guide to Political Ideologies

A Quick and Easy Guide To Understanding Political Ideologies:

FEUDALISM
You have 2 cows. Your Lord takes some of the Milk

FASCISM
You have 2 cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care
of them and sells you the Milk

PURE COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows. Your neighbours take care of them and you all
share the milk.

APPLIED COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows. You have to take care of them but the government
takes all the milk.

DICTATORSHIP
You have 2 cows. The government takes both and shoots you.

MILITARISM
You have 2 cows. The government takes both and drafts you.

PURE DEMOCRACY
You have 2 cows. Your neighbours decide who gets the milk.

REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY
You have 2 cows. Your neighbours pick someone to tell you who gets the
milk.

NIGERIAN DEMOCRACY
You have 2 cows. The government takes both, shoots you and sends the
cows
to
Zurich.

AMERICAN DEMOCRACY
The government promises to give you 2 cows if you vote for them.
After the election the President is impeached for speculating in
Cow futures. The Press dubs the affair "Cowgate".
The cow sues you for breach of contract.

BRITISH DEMOCRACY
You have 2 cows. You feed them sheep's brains and they go mad.
The government doesn't do anything.

EUROPEAN DEMOCRACY
You have 2 cows. At first the government regulates what you can
feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them.
After that it takes both, shoots one and milks the other, pouring the
milk down the drain.
Then it requires you to fill out forms regarding the missing cows.

SINGAPOREAN DEMOCRACY
You have 2 cows. The government fines you for keeping 2 unlicensed farm
animals in your apartment.

CAPITALISM
You have 2 cows. You sell one and buy a Bull

HONG KONG CAPITALISM
You have 2 cows. You sell 3 of them to your publicly listed company,
using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank,
then execute a debt/equity swap with associated general offer so that
you
can get all 4 cows back, with a tax deduction for keeping 5 cows. The
milk
rights of 6 cows are transferred via a Panamanian intermediary to a
Cayman
Islands company secretly owned by the majority shareholder, who sells
the
rights to all 7 cows milk back to the listed company. The annual report
says that the company owns 8 cows, with an option on one more.
Meanwhile,
you kill the 2 cows because of bad Feng Shui.

TOTALITARIANISM
You have 2 cows. The government takes both and denies they ever existed.
Milk is banned.

POLITICAL CORRECTNESS
You are associated with (the concept of "ownership" is a symbol of the
phallucentric, warmongering, intolerant past) two differently aged (but
no
less valuable to society) bovines of unspecified gender.

SURREALISM
You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica
lessons.

seamus

Originally posted by dannyd20

POLITICAL CORRECTNESS
You are associated with (the concept of "ownership" is a symbol of the
phallucentric, warmongering, intolerant past) two differently aged (but
no
less valuable to society) bovines of unspecified gender.

SURREALISM
You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica
lessons.

lmao rofl deadly

Aspro

.Capitalism -
You have two cows that should be used to provide milk for you and your neighbours. They are taken from you by a multinational cow corporation. You milk them all day making the corporation enough money to buy four cows. You get paid a pint of milk. The government taxes you quarter of a pint. It gives the corporation a cow tax amnesty.

po0k

0wned

DeVore

Dot.Com Start Up Economy 1.
We own no cows, however Gartner says the Cow market
will be 5.8 billion dollars by 2003. We're building the north american Cow portal to capture all the vertical cow market
and provide a b2b e-cow site.
Then we'll be SURE to make money!

Dot.Com Start Up Economy 2.
You have two cows. Oops, now you have 1.7 cows.
1.5 Cows. Oh sh|t 1.3 Cows. 0.9 Cows...
Sell Sell Sell the feckin 0.3 cows!!!

DeV.

strat

lol thems some funkey cows