21 going on 16?

LegacyUser

Lads and ladies,

BIG PROBLEM... Spent a night of passion with a girl I met in a bar who told me she was 21. But on the way to work on Friday I saw her crossing the road going to school with her mates... She keeps on calling in, but I don't want to do anything just in case she's underage (I'm 32). But I really think we've connected... HELP!!

seamus

Yeech.....

You'll have to talk to her. If she's 17 or 18 (most likely), then there's no problem unless it bothers you. If she's 16, it gets messy. Just tell her you saw her going to school and ask her her real age.

audge

Ah come on now... there is no real future here for you two. You are 32, the girl is 18 at most! Seriously, you have 14 years life experience on her... just put this idea out of your head, its a bad one, give the girl a few years to grow up. if I thought I 32 year old man was seriously thining about having a relationship with my 18 year old sister, I would not be impressed.
Look, I am 23, I have just finished college, I am not be mature enough to embark on a relationship with a 32 year old man, I doubt that a 17 year old girl is ready! You are gonoing to want different things from this,
Please forget about it, it just isn't right!

Femelade

ah hold on...whatever happened to "age is only a number" ok if she's in school then there is the possability that she is under age. talk to her and find out her real age. if she isnt underage and u think you two could embark on a relationship then do what you want. it might not work, it probably wont work but be careful, she is young, and i doubt her parents would be impressed.
good luck.

ferdi

Carlos Lust wrote:

But I really think we've connected

oh please:rolleyes:. stop messing around with kids or the only thing that'll be connected will be your future and a jail sentence.

alfa147

thats kinda funny. :rolleyes:

bummer man. dont bother, first off shes too young as ur 32 and secondly do u think u should really bother.. ur mates would hound you till no end.

audge

Femmy wrote:

ah hold on...whatever happened to "age is only a number" ok if she's in school then there is the possability that she is under age. talk to her and find out her real age. if she isnt underage and u think you two could embark on a relationship then do what you want. it might not work, it probably wont work but be careful, she is young, and i doubt her parents would be impressed.
good luck.

Who actually believes that age is just a number? its a number alright, the number of years you have lived on the planet, and he has lived on this planet 14 years more then she has, and I imagine that during those 14 years he has had many relationships and obtained a lot of life experience, he may have dont the college thing, and has done the career thing, she hasnt even done the school thing so he should just leave her alone, let her gain her own life experience, kiss a million boys, make her own mistakes, allow her to mature and grow up and decide what she wants from life, cos no matter what anyone says, she does not have a clue what that is yet!

Victor

Hmmm, how about this?

Ask to meet her family, then bring her to see your family. See if the approve (I suspect they won't).

dundalk cailin

32 seems a bit too old for an 18 / 17 / 16 year old imo, i think she needs to get out there and have fun with guys (closer to) her own age. i know a girl who's 21, she's going out with a 45 year old who has 3 kids, she's been going out with him since age 17, i think its totally wrong, they are generations apart!

Zebra3

Imo it's best to leave this one....

Femelade

audge wrote:

Who actually believes that age is just a number? its a number alright, the number of years you have lived on the planet, and he has lived on this planet 14 years more then she has, and I imagine that during those 14 years he has had many relationships and obtained a lot of life experience, he may have dont the college thing, and has done the career thing, she hasnt even done the school thing so he should just leave her alone, let her gain her own life experience, kiss a million boys, make her own mistakes, allow her to mature and grow up and decide what she wants from life, cos no matter what anyone says, she does not have a clue what that is yet!

ah bla, age is only a number, in retrospect.
i dont he's planning on marrying her, if she's old enough to be in a relationship with him, then why not, sure it probably wont last very long, but heck it might. there are people who have bigger age gaps than that and are very happy. it isn't impossible you know.

pclancy

Get out of there. That situation smacks of badness.

ballooba

(32 / 2) + 7 = 23

23 > 16

.: Don't go there.

Sifo

ok maybe she's 18 or even 19 (transition year or whatever), and as you've guessed by now a 32 two year old man seeing a girl of 18/19 is frowned upon.. Oh well guess you can't see her anymore!!
hold on a sec!!! are you not considered to be an adult at 18? free to make her own decisions!! Just make sure she is 18 and be honest with her... For all we know you could be the perfect couple...

Victor

PS Find out when she was born. Compare this to when you did the Leaving Cert.

audge

Sifo wrote:

ok maybe she's 18 or even 19 (transition year or whatever), and as you've guessed by now a 32 two year old man seeing a girl of 18/19 is frowned upon.. Oh well guess you can't see her anymore!!
hold on a sec!!! are you not considered to be an adult at 18? free to make her own decisions!! Just make sure she is 18 and be honest with her... For all we know you could be the perfect couple...

I want you to think about all the 18 year olds you have ever known and tell me there is one of them you think ready to get into a relationship with a 32 year old man.

how many 19 year olds do you know that are still in school?

and what kind of mature 18 year old feels the need to lie about her age???

If your going to say that this girl could be as old as 19. then she could be as young as 12 - bottom line, she is a school girl, just give it a miss!

Sifo

audge wrote:

I want you to think about all the 18 year olds you have ever known and tell me there is one of them you think ready to get into a relationship with a 32 year old man.

how many 19 year olds do you know that are still in school?

and what kind of mature 18 year old feels the need to lie about her age???

If your going to say that this girl could be as old as 19. then she could be as young as 12 - bottom line, she is a school girl, just give it a miss!

Tell you what, heres what you need to know, at 18 your considered an adult, and i'm sure most people will agree that its very frustrating to be treated like a child when you finally hit that landmark.. (I'm 24 by the way). I sat my leaving at the ripe old age of 16, turned 17 a month later, i then headed for college, turned 18 before starting my second year... Now i considered myself to be mature enough to make my own decisions and so did my parents.. So who's to say this girl isn't mature enough? she just might be, and if you think it's a mistake her being with a 32 year old then fair enough.. but i think she's entitled to learn from her own mistakes (just my opinion, not trying to wage a war here)

audge

Look, you may have been a very mature 18 year old, i am not trying to take that away from you, but i have an 18 year old sister who cannot get herself a job or fill out a college application.... however, she has no problem tarting herself up and copping off with older men! What I am saying is.... just because she managed to get into a club and shag a 32 year old man, does not mean that she is old enough or mature enough to embark on a relationship with one.
Yes, I agree, that there may be 18 year ols who could handle a relationship with an older man, but there are also a hell of a lot of 18 year olds who would not be mature enough to make up their own minds, they could be influenced by someone older and "wiser", and in this sense, I believe that they could be taken advantage of

Sifo

audge wrote:

Look, you may have been a very mature 18 year old, i am not trying to take that away from you, but i have an 18 year old sister who cannot get herself a job or fill out a college application.... however, she has no problem tarting herself up and copping off with older men! What I am saying is.... just because she managed to get into a club and shag a 32 year old man, does not mean that she is old enough or mature enough to embark on a relationship with one.
Yes, I agree, that there may be 18 year ols who could handle a relationship with an older man, but there are also a hell of a lot of 18 year olds who would not be mature enough to make up their own minds, they could be influenced by someone older and "wiser", and in this sense, I believe that they could be taken advantage of

I see what your saying but she's gonna make her own decision on this one! As for the OP, looks like you have a decision to make, Good Luck...

jptk

noo!! Forget about her! Even if she is 18, she lied about her age and the fact that shes in school, which suggests shes not that responsible and probably not that mature either. I know plenty of 18 year olds who think they are mature, get to know them a bit better and youll see there is a lot of growing up to do.

dundalk cailin

it'll only cause problems

de5p0i1er

I heard of a guy in my home town (castlebar) who got off with a girl in a night club only to find out she was 14. He got convicted, so be careful.

Chrissie

I don't so much think that it's the age gap that's the problem but more the age!
The general age we're talking about this girl to be is V young.
I mean, can any of us imagine being at a debs surrounded by people this age? It'd be a nightmare!
Op:- Can you imagine being out with this girls friends? More than likely headwrecking, plus, they'd see you as a father figure almost 'keeping an eye on them'!!! (Or trying to milk € of you for drinks & fags as they've none of their own!!!) I definitely think you should give this one a miss.
However, I started working after college when I was 20 & was quite mature for my age. Around that time I started going out with a 29yr old. We've only just broken up after 5 V happy yrs together, & ironically, we broke up because HE doesn't want to grow up (but that's another story)

Relationships with big age differences definitely can & do work, I just don't think this one will!! (You're probably older than 1/2 her teachers, & we can all remember what old f@rts we thought our teachers were!!!)

chuci

audge wrote:

allow her to mature and grow up and decide what she wants from life, cos no matter what anyone says, she does not have a clue what that is yet!

that s areally patronizing thing to say at 18 i knew exactly what i wanted im now 19 and in my third year of college. now i know thats going a bit off the point.

to the op i really think that a 14 yr gap is a bit much and that a relationship based on that may fall apart and if she is 16 then it will get messy. but if you do decide to go ahead then best of luck.

Funky

Go for it. When you're 34 you'll have an 18 year old girl friend !

ek942

Yeah.Just do it!

OrlaOrla

you should talk to her,tell her u know shes in school and take it from there. but to be honest your not likely to have much in common,its not just an age difference,its life experience and different stages your both at in your life,you might think youv connected but then again havent we all thought weve connected with randomers in nightclubs and pubs,drink and atmosphere are powerful aphrodisiacs!

Talliesin

ballooba wrote:

(32 / 2) + 7 = 23

23 > 16

.: Don't go there.

Any analysis of a relationship that can be expressed in a mathematical formula can be safely ignored.

Anyone who analysises replationships in ways that can be expressed in mathematical formulae can also be safely ignored.

Real things to focus on:
She may not be over the age of consent.
She may not be a legal adult. Her parents probably don't know about her having nights of passion with people over 30 and until she's an adult it's their business.
She lied to you.
What is she going to want in her life, does she even know yet, and where could you fit into that.

Once someone's and adult there are no hard-and-fast rules, but there's still going to be a hell of a lot to overcome.

b3t4

My uncle met his now wife when she was 18ish. He is 20years older than her. I have never met a couple who are happier.

Her parents also had such an age gap in their marriage and they were also a happy couple. Her father passed away in the last year.

So it can work for some.

A.

dudara

As a previous poster pointed out, the fact that she lied about her age demonstrates her immaturity.

Master...Card

If you had a night of passion with her the first night you met her, you're probably just another notch on her bedpost so don't get too keen, love.:(