Candy Underwear.

Tar.Aldarion

Flashling wrote:

Has anyone seen the edible ones? You know, the thongs made out of those candy necklaces?

After reading this post I became intrigued and I thought of the ever wonderful fashion statement I could be making.
So as a fashion guru,I thought I would set a new craze for Ireland.Candy undewear.Namely the candy G-String and the candy Bra.They are winging there way to me as we speak from;
http://www.14-condoms.co.uk/massage-oils/candy-g-string.html
http://www.14-condoms.co.uk/massage-oils/candy-bra.html
You don't even have to give your size for one size fits all!For those of you aware of candy necklaces you will know that these babies stretch to fit and of course you can nibble off the excess sweets, if you want something a little smaller.
Girls,I can see you there talking to yourselves,You have your Bra and G-String but you do not feel you have the full set.How can you entertain your partner without feeling your sexiest and most comfortable?
You can use your new suspender belt of course(for the nerds out there i'm sure you can hold all sorts of things like calculators and logtables on it)
http://www.14-condoms.co.uk/massage-oils/candy-suspender-belt.html
You now have a full stylish outfit for a very reasonable price.

Now I know you guys who frequent F/AP are getting a little jealous from all this female confectionary but of course there is more!Just for the special guy,it's the Candy Posing Pouch and as the site says,One size fits all.
Beware,may contain nuts (if you can fit them in).
http://www.14-condoms.co.uk/massage-oils/candy-posing-pouch.html

Finally you and your special somebody are stylishly outfitted for a romantic dinner and afterwards maybe you could have another little snack?
http://www.14-condoms.co.uk/massage-oils/after-dinner-willies.html

Truely, is there nothing than can not be made fun by the adding of candy??
So what are your thoughts,do you forsee a bright or a bleak feature in the world of wear-once underwear that you can eat so as to leave no waste?Think of all the money you could save on washing and maybe if mass produced the price would fall so that even us students could lead a life of luxury or do you think they are only for the special occasions?(weddings,funerals,baptisms etc)
What sort of fashion rating would you give them?Do you think they would add to the appearance of your partner?Do you want them to be for the normal Joe Soap or would you like to see models parading around in them?

Goodshape

Tar.Aldarion wrote:

Beware,may contain nuts (if you can fit them in).
http://www.14-condoms.co.uk/massage-oils/candy-posing-pouch.html

Ha! very good ...although I'm not so sure I'd want someone chomping away on that particular area :eek:

Scraggs

Now available in a River Island store near you....

[well the one in grafton st. had anyway!!]

@ tar have fun!!!
@goodshape go on you _know_ you want to!!!

Gazza22

I have actually seen these around Dublin already....a place in Temple Bar sells them, though i think that's a sex shop. But Debenhams sell them too...ah they would be fun to eat away...

/rushes of to get my gf some...

Tar.Aldarion wrote:

Now I know you guys who frequent F/AP are getting a little jealous from all this female confectionary but of course there is more!Just for the special guy,it's the Candy Posing Pouch and as the site says,One size fits all.
Beware,may contain nuts (if you can fit them in).
http://www.14-condoms.co.uk/massage-oils/candy-posing-pouch.html

Now that's just nasty :eek:

Larianne

gazza22 wrote:

...ah they would be fun to eat away...

Yeah just don't get too carried away! :eek:

Le Rack

yeah a place in Temple Bar, it's not quite a sex shop, when you go in it branches off into a piercing place and a fancy dress sorta shop, sex toys just happen to be part of it!
Love that shop!

Cerdito

This is where I saw these things first....there are no words. You should see the rear view, it ain't pretty :eek:

Stark

http://www.14-condoms.co.uk/massage-oils/after-dinner-willies.html

That's just wrong.

Must buy some in case I have guests I someday need to offend

Larianne

Le Rack wrote:

yeah a place in Temple Bar, it's not quite a sex shop, when you go in it branches off into a piercing place and a fancy dress sorta shop, sex toys just happen to be part of it!
Love that shop!

Ad Hoc?

Le Rack

Not sure, could be! I'm not from Dublin or anyhting

Tar.Aldarion

I suggest we form ad hoc to address the issue of candy underwear.
It could be the fashion club.

Le Rack

What do you mean Tar? Keep going?

Scarinae

Larianne wrote:

Ad Hoc?

Yeah, Ad Hoc sells them, I got a candy bra there. They're often sold out of the bras though, they're more popular than the G strings

Aisling(",)

You can get them in topshop

Flashling

Yes, but why would you WANT to get them in topshop? Or at all for the matter? Fishie?

On the subject of "rude candy" though, I got naked man shaped jellies in Germany! They were SO delicious......

dudara

Cerdito wrote:

This is where I saw these things first....there are no words. You should see the rear view, it ain't pretty :eek:

God man, it's too early in the morning to see such horrible sights. I mean, I haven't even eaten my breakfast yet!!

The posing pouch had me in stitches

I saw willie shaped pasta in Ann Summers once. Little penises with two little balls at the bottom. I was thinking that I'd love to invite someone over for dinner, cook that pasta with a sauce, and serve it. Then sit back and see if they notice

Tar.Aldarion

I really want to serve the after dinner willies at some sort of formal occasion and see do people say anything...failing that, the waiters and waitresses at the next occasion may be wearing interesting uniforms

Scarinae

Flashling wrote:

Yes, but why would you WANT to get them in topshop? Or at all for the matter? Fishie?

As a present, for the same reason you'd get someone a Dolly the Inflatable Sheep - it makes them laugh!

eth0_

Le Rack wrote:

yeah a place in Temple Bar, it's not quite a sex shop, when you go in it branches off into a piercing place and a fancy dress sorta shop, sex toys just happen to be part of it!
Love that shop!

Metal Morphosis is the place you're on about

nobodythere

Thanks a lot Tar, now every time i see you on the street i'll be thinking of you in a candy thong.

Think of that when you see me

Beth*

you can also get them in river island!

Tar.Aldarion

grasshopa wrote:

Thanks a lot Tar, now every time i see you on the street i'll be thinking of you in a candy thong.

Think of that when you see me

Whatever floats your boat,you now know what floats mine!(:
You just thank your lucky stars that I will be wearing trousers:eek:

*Btw, You are going to feel very disturbed when you see me next,muauahaha*

dudara

Tar.Aldarion wrote:

You just thank your lucky stars that I will be wearing trousers:eek:

But surely you'll have your candy posing pouch on underneath!

Tar.Aldarion

Sometimes I regret being in the photoshoot for that site...



But other times I just thank the heavens for the comfort of my posing pouch!!!:-)

Le Rack

I actually have to admitt there are a number of fellos I wouldn't mind nibbling that off!

Tar.Aldarion

I have to admit, that is not the case for me.

Le Rack

so if a hot girl had them on?

Tar.Aldarion

a posing pouch eh..
I think I would tell her that we have to talk!

Le Rack

you know what I mean!

Tar.Aldarion

I want candy!!!!!do do do do do do

simu

Sometimes, I really worry about you, Tar!

So, is it possible to get protective spray to make candy underwear last a lifetime?

Tar.Aldarion

Oh my, you do realize the the possibilities that you have just opened in my mind!
Unlike cloth, these candy underwear would not fade with time.There could be a form of metallic(yet soft on the skin,think fairy liquid) spray.It would coat the candy, chemically bonding to it if you will.Now the trouble with chemically bonding underwear is discussed here,
http://www.engr.utk.edu/mse/pages/Textiles/Chemical%20Bonding.htm

The main problems being;

The fabric doesn't have enough strength.-Candy clearly does
The fabric is too stiff.-Candy underwear is on a string and so each cog of candy is free to move to a certain yet acceptable degree.
The fabric has inadequate absorbency. -Candy underwear does not absorb for it need not,no washing required!
The fabric shows poor laundering ability. -Bit of Deja vu?
The fabric has inadequate dry cleaning ability.-As if that would be a problem for candy underwear,you cannot wet it \o/
The fabric simply doesn't feel like a textile.-In yo face polyvinyl acetate.

Now that you have thoroughly perused that site you will no doubt have come to the same conclusion as the fashion guru himself, no chemical bondant is good enough.We must make a new combined rubber( http://www.absoluteastronomy.com/encyclopedia/r/ru/rubber.htm )/fairyliquid effort.
Standard rubber is not good enogh for the results we so desperately clamber for.
Humans must advance,for a race that does not advance ...dies.Do we want that?"We do not!" I hear you cry and you are right to be adament about this, candy underwear is the only viable future for the human race,it will not only stave off depressions in the market but also hunger and famine.It is a shining light in a world that is bleak.We must make a stand, Underwear as our banner,together we are one. We need much advancement in all fields and we need a symbol to spark off a renaissance in fashion.

simu wrote:

Sometimes, I really worry about you, Tar!

Why?

Le Rack

Was in AdHoc the other day, and was gonna get a bra but was then informed by my friends that it wouldn't fit me... I'll get a garter next time!

thefinalstage

grasshopa wrote: »

Thanks a lot Tar, now every time i see you on the street i'll be thinking of you in a candy thong.

Think of that when you see me

No thanks. The sweets at the back would be ruined.

Lil' Smiler

My ex got me a candy bra for my birthday once, i was not impressed... i was even less impressed when he asked me to try it on and it pinched the hell out of my nipples.. ow!!! I can only imagine what the thongs etc would be like eeeuuurrgghhh!!!

simu

Go to sleep, old thread!