Questions about Love...

LegacyUser

Just two quick questions today. Gathering general opinions tbh.

What is the shortest time you think should pass before you
1) Honestly love somebody
2) Express your love for said person

Thanks,
GreenApple

[Jackass]

Love. Why do we feel we have to define it? And try to pinpoint a moment it "happens" then tag it!

How do you honestly know when you're happy, sad, angry, tired, nervous, excited? How much time should pass before you can feel these emotions for/about someone?

You're in love when you feel love for somebody. It could be instant, or build up very gradualy and you wont really notice...a fond admiration over time can blosom into absolute admoration, into completely head over heels in love...

just like you can instantly get angry with someone you dont know, or anger can build over a long period.

As for when to express it? Express it when you feel it will be best recieved, or most appropriate.

If you feel your love is reciplicated then express it, if you don't, then don't...yet.

Be warned though, it's a very powerfull emotion that can distort our rasional thinking, and although we have romantic notions of it being perminant, and never like to admit it, like all emotions, it's very fical, and can leave you/her as quickly or as gradualy as it came in the first place.

Just to be even more annoying, i'll sumarise by answering your question with a question: How long is a piece of string?

Hope that helps

Funky

There's no right or wrong, when you feel it say/do it.

AARRRGH

GreenApple wrote:

What is the shortest time you think should pass before you
1) Honestly love somebody
2) Express your love for said person

I think it takes about 2 - 3 years to really love someone. Before that I think it is just infatuation and insecurity.

I think you can express love for someone whenever you think you are in love (I know I'm contradicting myself slightly) because you want and need to do it. However it's very possible you aren't actually in love with the person at that stage (you just think you are.)

I think when you love someone you love them forever (after a breakup, you love them like a sister you hate...)

Mr.Nice Guy

GreenApple wrote:

Just two quick questions today. Gathering general opinions tbh.

What is the shortest time you think should pass before you
1) Honestly love somebody
2) Express your love for said person

Thanks,
GreenApple

1. I think the great thing about love is that no one can tell you whether you are in love or not. Only you really know.

2. I personally don't think a guy should say 'I love you' until the girl says it first. I just think it's more natural that way. I'm sure people have different views but that's just my personal opinion.

nobodythere

It's very easy to fall in love with someone very quickly after meeting them. The whole thing is, it's not quite THEM that you're falling in love with. Unless both of you are being completely open and honest about everything then you can't know them well enough to fall in love with them. When you feel love for someone you have only met recently, you are only really in love with who you THINK they are 90% of the time. People have sides to them that don't come out until you know them for a long time.

As Bukowski put it, "It's possible to love a human being when you don't know them too well".

But does it really matter if you're in love? No need to worry about that with someone you've just met. Leave it a while before you say the big words, instead of scaring her away.

LegacyUser

Why can no-one define it! DublinDude was the closest to it overall, but still missed my point overall.

Mr. Nice Guy wrote:

2. I personally don't think a guy should say 'I love you' until the girl says it first. I just think it's more natural that way. I'm sure people have different views but that's just my personal opinion.

This isn't a straight couple. 2 guys. More difficult now!

I think it takes about 2 - 3 years to really love someone. Before that I think it is just infatuation and insecurity.

I think you can express love for someone whenever you think you are in love (I know I'm contradicting myself slightly) because you want and need to do it. However it's very possible you aren't actually in love with the person at that stage (you just think you are.)

I think when you love someone you love them forever (after a breakup, you love them like a sister you hate...)

I'll agree this is a true love, something I wish I could have, but I mean the more modern love. Still not something you throw around, but something that happens when you trust someone, want to be with them etc. The youthful kind of love. I am quite young.


Ultimately the question I'm asking (I think) is what would you consider insincere? If you were with someone a week and they said they loved you, would you believe them? If not, how long would it be before you would?

Beruthiel

GreenApple wrote:

If you were with someone a week and they said they loved you, would you believe them? If not, how long would it be before you would?

6 months to a year
I wouldn't believe anyone who said it after a week, how can they know they love you till they truly know you as a person?
and that takes time.

dudara

It's a hard question. I fell in love with my bf nearly damn instantaneously, but looking back, and like previous posters said, it was infatuation. I think I didn't say "I love you" until about 6 months in. As time has gone by, it's deepened.

I think that just like everyone else on the planet, you'll have to muddle your way through it as best you can

Squirrel

Beruthiel wrote:

6 months to a year
I wouldn't believe anyone who said it after a week, how can they know they love you till they truly know you as a person?
and that takes time.

If you see the person for an hour a week, then a long time, if you're with them constantly, then the time is reduced significantly, only you can tell if you feel it, and only you can tell if they're being sincere. IMO a week is too short, a month is too short, you should need at least 4-6 months before you even begin thinking about it, and as Beruthiel said, 6 months - a year

Le Rack

don't get me started on love! Too late!

Love is something you feel, an emotion that takes hold of everything, you can't pinpoint it, you can't control it it just is.

I knew a guy kinda for two years, then over six months we really got friends, we ended up getting together, and one night I was on a bus at 3am headed for the airport when I turned to my best friend and said "I do" Not in the maraige sense! It's just myself and friend had been talking about the guy and she knew I was mad about him and then just out of no where I just came out with it. Never told him though cuz we were only together a very short time and it would have been too much too soon...

simu

Le Rack wrote:

don't get me started on love! Too late!

Lollers! Classic stuff!

To the OP: there are no fixed answers for your questions. The most important thing is that you are sincere to yourself about what you feel and to the other person as regards what you say tbh.

nesf

Personally, I think that you can fall in love early. But it takes time for you to be able to say it's not just an infatuation. Until you've gone through a few patches of badness you can't really be sure imho.

I definitely would not think that you can put a time limit on it though. It's not the same relationship to relationship. Some you can fall in love fast, some it takes a lot of time. It also strongly depends on the two people involved and just how much time you are spending together and apart. To be realistic about things you need a good mix of both. Too much time apart and you'll not really know them. Too much time together and it's hard to step back and think about things.