More Bash.org

Capt'n Midnight

#22419 +(397)- [X]

<Ebony> Did anyone else realize that the media-dubbed "The War Against Terrorism" comes out as "TWAT"?


#304168 +(384)- [X]

<Justin> What's your sign, baby?
<The_Gevil> Yield


#196362 +(277)- [X]

<vindalou> but you know how all gossip has a grain of truth
<Bishi> I heard your mom's a real dirty slut


#59336 +(169)- [X]

<|404notfound> My friend, who was new to online gaming, complained to me about a 30 ping.
<donotdisturb> LOL
<|404notfound> But that's not all. His question to me was:
<|404notfound> "Why won't it go any higher?"


#8209 +(3136)- [X]

<Kyuss> how big should disk 1 of neverwinter be?
<JtHM> |<

---

>|
<JtHM> (not to scale)


#258768 +(353)- [X]

<+flash> WHER CAN I DOWNLOAD A VIRUS?THAT KILLS MY PC FOR FREE?
<Server> flash: www.windowsupdate.com


#76320 +(259)- [X]

AlexKN3: i'll be a laughting stuck
AlexKN3: stick
Davey: STOCK YOU IDIOT


#15970 +(223)- [X]

*** Now talking in #clubsi.com
*** Topic is 'I hate Linux because it makes me type "man mount"'
*** Set by Arctil on Wed Jul 10 16:27:12


#11050 +(72)- [X]

<Zuwadza> "When all you've got is a penis, everything looks like an anus." - Japanese proverb


#6277 +(178)- [X]

<Speck> being able to type doesn't mean you're a computer nerd. It just means you have a higher intelligence than a turnip


#442133 +(231)- [X]

JonTG3: ever since i learned internet speak
JonTG3: i've wanted to turn in a 600 word paper that consisted of my name, the date, a title and 300 instances of OMG TOASTER


#441908 +(77)- [X]

[ @Jesper ] windows is really secure, they just hid the close exploits check box very well


#28348 +(880)- [X]

<tis_berni> I'm a construction worker
<tis_berni> for one more week
<tam> and then?
<moof> then he has to be the indian or the navy guy.


#115626 +(290)- [X]

<Lailoken> On Cinemax tonight they're showing Shrek from 11:00 to 12:30 and then Best Sex Ever from 12:30 to 1:00.
<Lailoken> Somewhere in America parents leave their child to go to a dinner party, "Here honey, you just watch Shrek and we'll be home some time after midnight."


#367188 +(450)- [X]

<Schitz02> its microsoft. they don't have bugs
<Schitz02> they have unpublished features
<Qooiii> like the function office calls randomly called void Randomly_Crash_And_Delete_Document(void)
<Schitz02> right, just like that one
<Qooiii> i wish they had at least made it predictable
<Qooiii> like the paperclip guy could pop up and say
<Qooiii> "it looks like word is going to crash. would you like to save your document?"


#243238 +(652)- [X]

<CharoNoMe> Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.


#3221 +(292)- [X]

<SementE> anyone here have a commercial pilot license?
<blazemore> semente: do you have any idea how many fbi "carnivore" systems you just set off
<SementE> blazemore: oh.. I forgot to add airline


#5301 +(4145)- [X]

<blazemore> LITTLETON, Colo. - Colorado officials plan to try a 15-year-old boy as an adult for allegedly offering a Sony PlayStation to have his aunt killed.
<FlipTopBx> is it modded?


#36403 +(198)- [X]

<daveb> ide is hot pluggable, right?
*** daveb has quit IRC (Read error: 104 (Connection reset by peer))


#36507 +(429)- [X]

<slackor> maybe, send me your pic first. last person i met off the net turned out to be 12 FBI agents


#59703 +(1324)- [X]

<AdmiralPJ> I can predict things before they happen
<AdmiralPJ> yes i know
<ari> That's precognition, not telepathy
<ari> Ah, damnit...
<ari> Good one


#50106 +(6)- [X]

AoD_ELiTe_WaSp> whats the alt command for ™?
TDJ_Bilbo_Fett> alt+f4
AoD_ELiTe_WaSp> i will try it
(Exit)> AoD_ELiTe_WaSp


#17483 +(501)- [X]

<JustNoodle> be right back
<JustNoodle> it's time for my daily sacrifice of a virgin
<meatwad_> you're committing suicide?!


#173795 +(265)- [X]

<@NapKiN&gt; ANYONE KNOW PERL
<@NapKiN&gt; ?
<dez> yeah
<dez> cant remember what porno she was in tho

RefulgentGnomon

<blazemore> LITTLETON, Colo. - Colorado officials plan to try a 15-year-old boy as an adult for allegedly offering a Sony PlayStation to have his aunt killed.
<FlipTopBx> is it modded?

RotalicaV

<tis_berni> I'm a construction worker
<tis_berni> for one more week
<tam> and then?
<moof> then he has to be the indian or the navy guy.

^ good one, the rest where ****.

danniemcq

i love that site!

Rozie

Sick of Bash. I submitted a whole load of quotes that were better than half the trash they get there and not a single one got approved. Some real classics too that I don't have stored anywhere anymore that I miss now.

The funniest joke on Bash was the "quotes pending" count. They've since approved some and wiped the rest, I believe.

Peteee

Rozie wrote:

Sick of Bash. I submitted a whole load of quotes that were better than half the trash they get there and not a single one got approved. Some real classics too that I don't have stored anywhere anymore that I miss now.

The funniest joke on Bash was the "quotes pending" count. They've since approved some and wiped the rest, I believe.

I've tried to get quotes approved too, but none ever get through, mostly cos they are 'context dependent'

try http://qdb.us

biko

Fantastic stuff

Lafortezza

<Tall Israeli> I think just about anyone who meets me and talks to me for long enough comes to terms with the fact that I am a very sick, twisted person. Also factor in a few mountain dews, a Peer-to-Peer connection, and boredom and you get what might be the funniest combination imaginable.
I had been downloading music yesterday evening. Led Zeppelin, REO Speedwagon, Flock of Seagulls, things like that. Then I realized that it'd be a funny joke to play on people if I were to change "Keep on Rolling" to "Hot Lesbian Sex". I watched as within minutes this file got 50 downloads. I was astounded.
Then the Tom got an idea.
An awful idea.
The Tom got a wonderful awful idea.
What if, perhaps, I was to change some of these names to sick pornography titles? I wonder if I'd get any bites?
And this is where the fun begins.
The first title I put up was "Naked boys dancing and eating cake." I sat in anticipation, waiting for my first download. Success, the first download came. Then the second. Then the third. This baby was steamrolling down the information super highway like a trucker with a hardon that has 2 miles left to the next truck stop. Before I knew it, I was getting twenty downloads. Then thirty. Then fifty. Can you imagine that in the end, rather than getting dancing boys naked and indulging themselves with sweets and frolicking in a dewy meadow, one-hundred thirty two people got a disappointing video of Led Zeppelin performing "Dazed and Confused" in front of a live audience? At this point, I had no choice but to continue.
The second title I put up was "My Ex-Girlfriend mowing the lawn naked." I thought that this was too far out to get any downloads. Alas, I was wrong. It got a download. Then two. Then thirty. In the end, seventy-eight sweaty, drooling fudges wanted to see my ex girlfriend mow the lawn stark naked. She's not even that hot. Rather then get their lawn-mowing beauty, they got the song "Ozone baby."
For the third title, I decided to transform "White Wedding" into the more intriguing "Elephant cock horse." I wish I could say I was kidding when this thing was downloaded one hundred eighty seven times. I guess there is something about horses and elephants showing their cocks that bring out the best in people. I nearly died of laughter at this point. "How can nearly two hundred people want to see naked animals? They're ALWAYS naked!" For sanctity's sake, we're going to leave this as a mystery. I hope I turned some people on to Billy Idol, hopefully distracting them long enough to forget that masturbating to horse and elephant genitalia are not really something their mothers would be proud of.
I couldn't stop myself from doing another. "Grandma Bingo Sex." Short and sweet. I couldn't stop myself from amusing.........myself..... "Grandma Bingo Sex." Surely not a common scenario, and surely not a scenario that would arouse many a twisted psyche. Apparently I know nothing about the human psyche. One hundred twenty two. ONE HUNDRED TWENTY TWO PEOPLE would like to see grandma getting bent over the bingo table, game card in hand, getting donkey punched by a 90 year old addle brained porn star. I rubbed my eyes just to double check. My eyes had to be lying to my brain. My penis had shriveled to the size of a 2 day old Wendys chicken nugget.
They asked for Grandma.
They got Joan Jett.
At this point I had to start taking puffs of my albuteral inhaler to keep from suffocating myself with laughter. "Girl on girl toe insertion (LEGAL)" was my next proud creation. Everyone likes 38 Special, so everyone won't feel like such dumb-asses after downloading this footy piece of crap. Never underestimate the inertia traveling behind a toe inserting itself into a rectum, friends. It's like a fudging semi hurling down Interstate 40 in the noonday sun. One hundred twelve people wanted to jerk to this. God have mercy on us.
At this point, for some odd reason, the user name "Enraged Baboon" popped into my head. "Enraged Baboon fudging a nipple factory." No way in hell would this get many downloads. Who could possibly type in any or all of those keywords? I guess people like seeing sweaty red-ass baboons, nostrils flaring, banging their chests like Marky Mark in the movie "Fear", having sex WITH each other in a factory that produces baby-bottle nipples. Imagine what those children would look like. One hundred seventy two people typed those magic words into Limewire, and got a hot steaming pile of monkey love. Well, it was Pink Floyd, but a man can dream, cant he?
This could all seem very disturbing. My final experiment, however, made me dizzy as my precious sack retreated into my pelvis. ...THREE PEOPLE...three disgusting, drooling, perverted, fudged up people, wielding a box of Puffs Plus and a tube of Vaseline Intensive Care Lotion, bright eyed and bushy tailed, wanted to see "An emu taking a vicious dump." How does one take a VICIOUS dump and how does an EMU take one, for that matter?
Ladies and gentlemen: this is why I have lost every last ounce of faith in humanity.
If I may quote Method:
"You're going to make a lot of sick people very unhappy."

Karoma

*G*


..time to add some