It must be true!!!

Sadie

Sorry if this has featured before but.... the wonderful world of spam

So,

I was on my way to the post office to pick up my case of free M&M’s, Sent to me because I forwarded their e-mail to five other people, celebrating the fact that the year 2000 is “MM” in Roman numerals), when I ran into a friend whose neighbour, a young man, was home recovering from having been served a rat in his bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken - which is predictable, since as everyone knows, there’s no actual chicken in Kentucky Fried Chicken, which is why the government made them change their name to KFC. It was so ironic because his wife had to have her jaw removed because cockroach eggs hatched in her cheek from eating at Taco Bell.

Anyway, one day this guy went to sleep and when he awoke he was in his bathtub, and it was full of ice and he was sore all over, and when he got out of the tub he realized that HIS KIDNEYS HAD BEEN STOLEN. He saw a note on his mirror that said “Call 911!” but he was afraid to use his phone because it was connected to his computer, and there was a virus on his computer that would destroy his hard drive if he opened e-mail entitled
“Join the crew!” He knew it wasn’t a hoax because he himself was a computer programmer who was working on software to prevent a global disaster, in which all the computers get together and distribute the $250.00 Neiman-Marcus cookie recipe under the leadership of Bill Gates. (It’s true - I read it all last week in a mass e-mail from BILL GATES HIMSELF, who was also promising me a free Disney World vacation and
$5,000 if I would forward the e-mail to everyone I know.)

The poor man then tried to call 911 from a pay phone to report his missing kidneys, but a voice on the line first asked him to press #90, which unwittingly gave the bandit full access to the phone line at the guy’s expense. Then reaching into the coin-return slot he got jabbed with an HIV infected needle around which was wrapped around a note that
said, ”Welcome to the world of AIDS.”

Luckily he was only a few blocks from the hospital, ..you know,...the one where that little boy who is dying of cancer is, the one whose last wish is for everyone in the world to send him an e-mail, and the American Cancer Society has agreed to pay him a nickel for every email he receives. I sent him two e-mails and one of them was a bunch of x’s and
o’s in the shape of an angel (if you get it and forward it to more than 10 people, you will have good luck, but for 10 people you will only have OK luck, and if you send it to fewer than 10 people you will have BAD LUCK FOR SEVEN YEARS).

So anyway the poor guy tried to drive himself to the hospital, but on the way he noticed another car driving without its lights on. To be helpful, he flashed his lights at him, and was promptly shot as part of a gang initiation. It kind of serves him right after all... because he was low on gas and bought gas on a day that we were all supposed to protest buying gas to send a message back to the oil cartels.

Send THIS to all the friends who send you their junk mail, and you Will receive 4 green m&ms, but if you don’t, the owner of Proctor and Gamble will report you to his Satanist friends, and you will have more bad luck, and you will get cancer from the Sodium Laureth Sulfate in your shampoo. Your wife will develop breast cancer from using the
antiperspirant, which clogs the pores under your arms, and the government will put a tax on your e-mails forever.

“I know this is all true, ‘cause I read it on the Internet!”

Pugsley

This is the humour board....but theres no humour in that post

irishguy

that was just sad

P R O F A N I T Y

What a stupid post, no offence but that is the biggest load of **** of ever had the mis pleasure of reading

Shiminay

Folks,
There are rules on this board. They're viewable by clicking the Announcement link entitled "The Rules" which is located just above the thread list. And I quote:

Quoted from The Rules
No flaming newer members cause the've posted something that's been on before. We're getting new members everyday and we don't want them to turn around and leave again as a result of someone's ignorance

I hope this is understood.

And, if you didn't find it funny, you're obviously Internet Newbies because I had a hearty LOL to that one.

Sadie, I hope these muppets don't put you off visiting here again.

P R O F A N I T Y

Originally posted by Kharn
Folks,
There are rules on this board. They're viewable by clicking the Announcement link entitled "The Rules" which is located just above the thread list. And I quote:I hope this is understood.

And, if you didn't find it funny, you're obviously Internet Newbies because I had a hearty LOL to that one.

Sadie, I hope these muppets don't put you off visiting here again.

yea im new, only been on the net 3 years now, and ive heard all this muck so so many times before, its not even funny at this stage

sixpack's little hat

that's kind of the point of the "joke"....