Taliban tv shows[and not that ancient slightly altered Iraqi version]

The Gopher

Only available on Sky Digitaliban......

TALIBAN T.V.

6.00 G-Had TV. Morning prayers.

8.30 Talitubbies. Talitubbies say "Ah-ah". Dipsy and
Tinky-Winky repair a Stinger missile launcher.

9.00 Shouts of Praise. More prayers.

11.00 Jihad's Army. The Kandahar-on-Sea battalion
repulse another attack by evil, imperialist, Zionist
backed infidels.

12.00 Ready, Steady, Jihad! Celebrities make lethal
devices out of everyday objects.

12.30 Panoramadan. The programme reports on Americas
attempts to take over the world.

13.30 Xena: Modestly dressed Housewife. Xena stays at
home and does some cooking.

14.00 Only Fools and Camels. Dhal-Boy offloads some
Chinese rocket launchers to Hamas.

14.30 Green Peter. The total of Kalashnikovs bought
by the milk bottle top appeal is revealed.

15.00 Madrasah Challenge. Two more Islamic colleges
meet. Bambah Kaskhain asks the questions.'Starter for
ten, no Praying.'

15.30 I Love 629. A look back at the events of the
year, including the Prophet's entry into Mecca, and
the destruction of pagan idols.

16.00 Question Time. Members of the public face
questions from political and religious leaders.

17.00 Koranation Street. Deirdrie faces execution by
stoning for adultery.

17.30 Middle-East Enders. The entire cast is jailed
for unislamic behaviour.

18.00 Holiday. The team go on pilgrimage to Mecca.
Again.

18.30 Top of the Prophets. Will the Koran be No.1 for
the 63,728th week running?

19.00 Who wants to be a Mujahadin? Mahmoud Tarran
asks the questions. Will contestants phone a mullah,
go 'inshallah', or ask the Islamic council?

20.00 FILM: Shariah's Angels. The three burkha-clad
sleuths go undercover to expose an evil scheme to
educate women.

21.30 Big Brother. Who will be taken out of the house
and executed this week?

22.30 Shahs in their Eyes. More hopefuls imitate
famous destroyers of the infidel.

23.30 They think it's Allah over. Quiz culminating in
the 'don't feel the Mullah' round.

0.00 When Imams attack. Amusing footage shot secretly
in mosques. The filmers were also secretly shot.

12.30 a.m. The West Bank Show. Arts programme looking
at anti-Israel graffiti art in the occupied territories.

1.30 Bhuffi the Infidel Slayer.

2.00 The Gaza strip. The adult hour where couples
discuss their favourite strategic positions

3.00 A book at bedtime. The Koran. Again

smoke.me.a.kipper

good stuff!

Victor

All of the above programmes have been cancelled by the Telly-ban.