My philosophy in life:

goose

It may be that your whole purpose in life is to serve
as a warning to others.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by
people who annoy me.

At least you're not being rectally probed by aliens.

What if, at this very moment, you are living up to your
full potential?

The more you think about things, the weirder they seem.
Take this milk. Why do we drink *cow* milk?? Who was
the guy who first looked at a cow and said, "I think
I'll drink whatever comes out of these things when I
squeeze 'em.

My favorite poem is the one that starts "Thirty days
have September" because it actually tells you
something.

Eat a live toad first thing in the morning, and nothing
worse can happen to you the rest of the day.

Hang in there, retirement is only thirty years away!

Do not believe in miracles, rely on them.

We all can't be heroes. Somebody has to sit on the
sides and clap as they go by.

I don't have a solution but I admire the problem.

My ambition is to live forever - so far, so good!

Don't follow in my footsteps, because I run into a lot
of walls.

Sanity calms, but madness is more interesting.

Know what I'm thinking? No. Neither do I; frightening,
isn't it?

If at first you don't succeed, failure may be your
style.

Never say "OOPS!" always say "Ah, Interesting!"

If you must choose between two evils, pick the one
you've never tried before.

Don't talk about yourself so much... we'll do that when
you leave.

If you try and don't succeed, cheat. Repeat until
caught. Then lie.

If you can't say anything nice...come sit by us.

Pugsley

LMAO there brilliant!!!!!

Lump

LOL, love the second last one


John

po0k

Yeah, gotta second that....
3rd, 9th, 10th, 20th
Would you mind if I took that as my sig update?

I call dibs.