Raaaawk Moves

Beany

Please find below exerpts from the Rawk Moves Bible. This should settle any controversial judge's decisions, for any future gigs...


RAWK MOVES

This game rewards artistes who resort to cliché rock tricks, therefore there is no negative marking.


GENERAL
Wearing Bandana 30
Wearing substantial leather clothing 20
Wearing t-Shirt with no sleeves 20
Wearing nothing only a smile 100
Half-nakedness 50
Spitting 30
Spitting on Audience 60
Swear at/Abuse audience 40
Swear at/Abuse fellow band member 20
Deride famous band 20
Deride local band 40


SINGER
“Hello (Placename), how are you all feeling tonight" 20
“This song is about…” 10
“You’ve been a great/wonderful audience…” 20
One (1) arm outstretched towards audience 20
Two (2) arms outstretched towards audience 30
Stage Diving 40
Swinging microphone in rotational manner 30
Swinging microphone in rotational manner (overhead) 50
Play Air guitar during guitarist’s solo 30


GUITARIST/BASSIST
Bended knees solo (15 secs minimum) 30
Dive from amplifier/support unit (during performance) 30
Break String 20
Break instrument (Accidentaly) 30
Break instrument (on purpose) 100
Kick amplifier/mic stand (with substantial force) 50
Move in unison with other guitarist/bassist in ‘Quo’ styee 30


DRUMMER
Toss sticks and catch them mid-song 40
Twirl sticks in hand mid-song 40
Break (1) stick 10
Play while standing up (10 secs minimum) 50
Mouth words of song (2 lines minimum) 20
Leave kit for 10 secs mid song 40
Break Skin 30

tibor

how could you leave out the foot on monitor pose. worth at least 50 points i reckon.

mixer007

Foot on monitor indeed, but surely puking mid-song is worth at least 100 points. Also collapsing on stage should warrant 150 points. Breaking leg after jumping from speaker, 200 points.

James_M

There's always the "Even Flow" stage dive courtesy of Pearl Jam.

Boots first that is

Beany

Thank you gentlemen, your suggestions will all be taken into consideration before the 2002 edition of 'Rawk Moves' hits the shelves.

Dan of Ilk

Hows about:

Throwing instrument across stage without breaking it. Deserves a few points anyway.

Getting down on knees and shoving your face right up against amplifier while making extremely violent feeback.

Crashing symbols in time with the song with your hand much to the annoyance of the drummer.

Hard one to judge, but if band member wakes up next morning and can't remember playing the gig...rocktastic!!!

Dr. Loon

Originally posted by Dan of Ilk
Hows about:
Crashing symbols in time with the song with your hand much to the annoyance of the drummer.

Hard one to judge, but if band member wakes up next morning and can't remember playing the gig...rocktastic!!!

My singer does that to my cymbals all the time, and I quite often wake up not remembering the gig so we must be rocktastic!!
How about the singer climbing the drumkit and then onto amps and various bits of equipment!?! That's gotta be worth somethin'
Singer cart wheels!? I'd say that's a 20 pointer at least.... how about singer throws glass up in the air and hopes to catch it, or out to the crowd, or else picks up a monitor from the stage and starts waving it about like a mad man.... Insane I tell ye

<edit for spelling>

Beany

How about getting a motorbike to circle the stage, burning out it's tires...Who needs dry ice?

Eating animals on-stage.

Or having animals on stage full stop really.

Dr. Loon

Originally posted by Beany
How about getting a motorbike to circle the stage, burning out it's tires...Who needs dry ice?

Eating animals on-stage.

Or having animals on stage full stop really.

Yeah, I was thinking of tying a number of dogs to my drum kit. They would have to be underfed and angry though, so they'd be barking alot and if anyone went near them, they'd be likely to bite. Much hilarity.

Gar_ptc

sex on stage ->30pts
sex with band member on stage -> 50 pts
sex with an animal on stage -> 80pts
getting shut down by the police ->100pts

guitartist/bass player grabs mic from singer and screams ,ala,Kurt C.:
RAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWKKK!

50 pts
singer doing songs in a :
cabaret stlye ->10pts
mick jagger style ->25pts

yeah?

mixer007

Why don't we publish a book. Or at least put a page on the internet somewhere (gigsmartireland.com) with these moves. Then everyone will be clear. We could run a gigsmart fantasy band league based on moves performed. 5 members per team with £10 pound to spend. For example Mixer from Obsolete would be £1.50p, Trev from Otranome £3, etc
Right, back to work.

Trev M

hahahaha is there no limit to the imagination ...thats a class idea mixer....we could put photos on the site too of the rawwwwwwkkkkkkk action!!!

sheer class men sheer class!!

Dan of Ilk

One I've always wanted to do is this:

Now, it has to be done in a small venue, just to make it even tackier. You know in that Bon Jovi video for Living on a Prayer where the band goes flying over the audience suspended on strings. Imagine doing that in the Shelter or Eamonn Dorans. It'd be stupidest thing ever, but brilliant at the same time.

Beany

You're not the only one with that harness fantasy.

The 'Rawk Harness' has been discussed at length by the members of Obsolete. If it ever becomes financially feasible, we will do it...

...And our drummer, Mixer, will be playing in a cage like the drummer from Van Halen...


"We're half way theyerrrre! Wooah Hooah!...

horsekick

Well if animals on stage clock up the points then Turn must be in the lead for twice having up on stage a "horse" who kicked out in fury. Quite an athletic manouver too I might add.

As for the fantasy rawkstar league i'd be well up for it,

Ollie Cole
Trev Mooney
Beany
Cormac Battle (Best in the League)

to name but a few.

Mr Crowe

....The Murder of Crows.......we pretty much have every rock cliche there is......

peace&loveThe Murder of Crows

knobbles

not to forget, though:

tossing your guitar as high as you can into the air,
raising your arms up as it descends
and making a genuine attempt to catch it,
only for it to crash onto your forehead

50p for the effort
100p in sympathy

Dan of Ilk

Anyone see Trans Am when they played in Whelans a few weeks ago. The drummer kicked out his drumkit all over the stage at the end. Truly amazing sight when seen from the balcony directly above.:eek:

Dr. Loon

Originally posted by Dan of Ilk
Anyone see Trans Am when they played in Whelans a few weeks ago. The drummer kicked out his drumkit all over the stage at the end. Truly amazing sight when seen from the balcony directly above.:eek:

He must either have alot of cash, or not really give 2 shíts about his kit, in which case that's a foolish manouevre :rolleyes:

Aspro

Yeah, the breakage of equipment isn't rawwwwwwwwwwwkkkk.
It's just stupid.

If you don't want it, give it to a kid who can't afford it and they might appreciate it more.

mixer007

Indeed, the breakage of instruments actually has a low points rating, due mainly to the fact it's always preconcieved. Mr. Greaney take note, you would do very badly in the Fantasy Rawk Move league. Infact, anyone who breaks an instrument on purpose should be given -20 points. JJ72 now have -1000 points.

Beany

Although I stated that there are no minus points in Rawk Moves, I should also outline that Judges are aware of the instrument breakage clause, and take into account the circumstances of the breakage.

As cliche as it is (and that's what Rawk Moves is all about), charaters like Greaney who can afford to break guitars (especially when his roadie removes the expensive pick-ups) shall not be rewarded for their pre-meditated acts.

Instrument breakage points are based on a logarithmic scale, taking many factors into account - financial staus of band, crowd attendance, band profile, number of spare instruments, etc.

This is why each of our Rawk Points ajudicators, like Gar, have to attend a rigorous training camp, to familiarise themselves with the more intricate details of the Rawk Bible.

Dan of Ilk

I said he kicked the drums out i.e. they fell all over the stage. Never said he broke the ****ing things.

Dr. Loon

Originally posted by Dan of Ilk
I said he kicked the drums out i.e. they fell all over the stage. Never said he broke the ****ing things.

He's still more than likely damaginf his fúckin drums. Do you know how easily drums are scraped and dented, you could dent a rim or shell or even crack a shell doin that, so it's still stupid. Shít you might not break an amp kickin it over, but you will probably damage it. May sound silly, but drums aren't designed to be battered in that way

Trev M

It appears there'a a reactionary movement forming against the rawwwk bible activists ..


PCAMI
Prevention of Cruelty Against Musical Instruments

hehehehe

Trev M

How amny points for a kilt??

tony 2 tone

How many point for changing clothes all the time alá Axl Rose?
Or for opening up big wounds in yer chest with the mic stand?

AtlantaSuburb

Originally posted by Aspro
Yeah, the breakage of equipment isn't rawwwwwwwwwwwkkkk.
It's just stupid.

If you don't want it, give it to a kid who can't afford it and they might appreciate it more.

can i tell you as a who fan that that hurts? *sniffle* *shouts to heaven* show'em, moonie, throw down some kit breakage!

:-)

AtlantaSuburb:cool:

bombidol

150 points for wearing a headset mic, Blarrggggg!!

BomB

horsekick

Anyone just see Iron Maiden on Top Of The Pops??? At least 300 points. Watch the repeat of it, you'll fall around the place laughin if you've read this thread!

kirn

what about weeing yourself onstage?
crapping yourself?

constantly referring to your cd's you have in a bag backstage for sale?

winking at attractive girls like the big repressed nerdy recluse you are?

licking you lips disgustingly during everysong so there is a thin wet patch an inch from your lips on all sides?

eh? eh? well?

:rolleyes: