Santa's Little Helpers...

Smiley

Santa Claus….Friend or Fraud??

Everyone knows SC as the jolly red man in the thick red coat. Children world-wide see him as a figure of jollity and cheer - true, you could call him the spirit of Christmas.

Why then, is it, that people will choose to disbelieve?? Maybe it has something to do with the fact that people will grow out of fairy-tales and make believe. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that people will question the concept of one man delivering presents to millions of children world-wide, all in the short space of one night. Or maybe it's plain old insecurity. Imagine if you knew there was someone or something out there that could sneak into your house at the middle of the night and lurk around, unknown to you??

The real question here is - do people actually want to believe in him??

Over the years, Santa Claus has become a figure of not only great kindness, but also of great versatility. Think…this is a man who can do extraordinary things. He can deliver presents to over 1billion children world-wide in just one night, eat up to 1billion treats left out for him in one night, and the reindeer. They travel thousands of kilometres without ever tiring. So, what is it then, that allows Father Christmas to carry out such achievements??

Aliens.

Plain and simple….that's what helps him. Or, indeed, maybe Father Christmas is himself an alien.

Lets look at the facts…

Santa Claus can travel the world over in just one night….
- To an alien, this would be child's play.

Santa Claus delivers presents to over 1billion children
- Alien technology could easily account for this.
Teleportation devices, for example, could be used to transport the goods instantly, from point A to point B.

He can go down chimneys that are far smaller than him, even with a sack full of goodies.
- What if the aliens have invented a device that can make Santa Claus travel through walls? Indeed, maybe the teleportation device I talked about earlier could be used to as a double.

The reindeer. They can go around the world without tiring.
- Alien technology could create alien super-robots easily.

The sleigh. Why is it so big? And what's with the design?
- It's big because it has to hide all the high tech gizmos, and all of the passengers. I mean, would you give up a ride around the world?? And the "perceived" design?? Simple. Low leg room, panoramic viewage. I'm not sure why the car companies haven't latched onto the design!!

So, you see, alien technology is quite probably the main culprit in the whole 'Who is he and how does he do it' story.

And as for his humble abode….

The Elves. Weird looking, eh? 4 foot high, pointed ears, coned heads??
- Aliens. Any conspiracy theorist could identify it from a mile.

Location, location, location…
- Think about it…miles of ice, where no man has even dreamed of exploring. And miles of ice beneath the surface. For all we know, there could be a whole civilisation under there!!

The Earth's magnetic fields.
What if the aliens could latch onto the movements of the EMF, and travel along them. The EMF shoots out from the top of the earth and rejoins at the bottom. Maybe there is even a Presents Transportation System. Which might even explain the Aurora Borealis, to a certain extent.

And where do the Elves get their raw materials from?? Remember the Bermuda Triangle…:eek:

And we haven't even touched on crop circles, abductions, sightings, Charlie McCreevy…:rolleyes:

So you see, Santa does have many Little Helpers.

Of course the traditional Christmas version of the legend of Santa is obviously a plot by the governments of the world to cover up the real story.

Oh well, guess that one's out of the bag. Back to the drawing board….

The End



Mike the Insomniac...

Man U babe

Right then, so can the 4 foot tall aliens rustle me up a ps2 out of seawater from the bermuda triangle and use the earths emf to deliver it to me on xmas nite? And some bacardi breezers would also be nice, HINT HINT!

lordsippa

Originally posted by Smiley
Location, location, location…
- Think about it…miles of ice, where no man has even dreamed of exploring. And miles of ice beneath the surface. For all we know, there could be a whole civilisation under there!!

If they lived under the earth would they really be aliens?

And how come they know what we want and we can go see Santa in supermarkets.

I prefer the Earthworm Jim theory.

Scarinae

What is the Earthworm Jim theory?

lordsippa

Santas helpers (the people in shopping centres and malls) are really just impersonators who spend their lives in the north pole training to act like santa.

Santa is however Thor.

To quote : "Santa exists! AND HE KICKS BUTT!"

qwidgybo

Originally posted by Smiley
Santa Claus….Friend or Fraud??

Everyone knows SC as the jolly red man in the thick red coat. Children world-wide see him as a figure of jollity and cheer - true, you could call him the spirit of Christmas.

Why then, is it, that people will choose to disbelieve?? Maybe it has something to do with the fact that people will grow out of fairy-tales and make believe. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that people will question the concept of one man delivering presents to millions of children world-wide, all in the short space of one night. Or maybe it's plain old insecurity. Imagine if you knew there was someone or something out there that could sneak into your house at the middle of the night and lurk around, unknown to you??

The real question here is - do people actually want to believe in him??

Over the years, Santa Claus has become a figure of not only great kindness, but also of great versatility. Think…this is a man who can do extraordinary things. He can deliver presents to over 1billion children world-wide in just one night, eat up to 1billion treats left out for him in one night, and the reindeer. They travel thousands of kilometres without ever tiring. So, what is it then, that allows Father Christmas to carry out such achievements??

Aliens.

Plain and simple….that's what helps him. Or, indeed, maybe Father Christmas is himself an alien.

Lets look at the facts…

Santa Claus can travel the world over in just one night….
- To an alien, this would be child's play.

Santa Claus delivers presents to over 1billion children
- Alien technology could easily account for this.
Teleportation devices, for example, could be used to transport the goods instantly, from point A to point B.

He can go down chimneys that are far smaller than him, even with a sack full of goodies.
- What if the aliens have invented a device that can make Santa Claus travel through walls? Indeed, maybe the teleportation device I talked about earlier could be used to as a double.

The reindeer. They can go around the world without tiring.
- Alien technology could create alien super-robots easily.

The sleigh. Why is it so big? And what's with the design?
- It's big because it has to hide all the high tech gizmos, and all of the passengers. I mean, would you give up a ride around the world?? And the "perceived" design?? Simple. Low leg room, panoramic viewage. I'm not sure why the car companies haven't latched onto the design!!

So, you see, alien technology is quite probably the main culprit in the whole 'Who is he and how does he do it' story.

And as for his humble abode….

The Elves. Weird looking, eh? 4 foot high, pointed ears, coned heads??
- Aliens. Any conspiracy theorist could identify it from a mile.

Location, location, location…
- Think about it…miles of ice, where no man has even dreamed of exploring. And miles of ice beneath the surface. For all we know, there could be a whole civilisation under there!!

The Earth's magnetic fields.
What if the aliens could latch onto the movements of the EMF, and travel along them. The EMF shoots out from the top of the earth and rejoins at the bottom. Maybe there is even a Presents Transportation System. Which might even explain the Aurora Borealis, to a certain extent.

And where do the Elves get their raw materials from?? Remember the Bermuda Triangle…:eek:

And we haven't even touched on crop circles, abductions, sightings, Charlie McCreevy…:rolleyes:

So you see, Santa does have many Little Helpers.

Of course the traditional Christmas version of the legend of Santa is obviously a plot by the governments of the world to cover up the real story.

Oh well, guess that one's out of the bag. Back to the drawing board….

The End



Mike the Insomniac...

dear lord,you can talk

smiles

Oh dear....

Who wants the job of telling kiddo here that

"SANTA DOES NOT EXIST!"

and whoever it is... be tactful... we dont want to destroy his dreams.... *grin*

<< Fio >>

sisob

children need foolish things to believe in - otherwise there would be no contrast when they reach the point of questioning everything.

if i did not believe in santa - then i would not have been thrown into a paranoid suspicion of everything i had ever been told, when i found worked out he didnt exist.

thus he is important - and it is soo cute to see happy children.

Mark

lordsippa

I have a nephew and he's too young for Santa but come on next year (or the one after) and... aw!

Scarinae

We know a rather religious family. The kids have never had Santa Claus/Easter Bunny/Tooth Fairy etc. cos their parents think that if you lead your children to believe in these things, when they find out they don't exist they will also lose faith with Jesus

Man U babe

Thats just freaky. You gotta have magic and all that sort of thing when you're young because its all part of being a child. Christmas isnt as much fun once you find out about Santa.

Crash

you do realise there could be small children reading this post right now......

so for the prosperity of evilness....

THERE IS NO SANTA CLAUS heehee, i'm evil

lordsippa

Originally posted by foobar
heehee, i'm evil

And I smell funny, don't see me bragging.

nlb

if sven's "earthworm jim" theory is true, and that the guys in tesco spend years impersonation santa in every way, and doing what santa a does...,

does that mean that santa is an alcoholic??

if so than i think that the real noth pole is saint james' gate!

could this be true, or am i just stoned...