Dictionary

Tom Dunne

Sorry about the >>>'s

AEROPLANE BLONDE
> >> > One who has bleached/dyed her hair but still has a
> >> > 'black box'.
> >> >
> >> > AUSSIE KISS
> >> > Similar to a French Kiss, but given down under.
> >> >
> >> > BADLY PACKED KEBAB
> >> > A vulgar (but still excellent) term for the female
> >> > genitalia.
> >> >
> >> > BEAVER LEAVER
> >> > A homosexual.
> >> >
> >> > BEER COAT
> >> > The invisible but warm coat worn when walking home
> >> > after a booze cruise at 3 in the morning.
> >> >
> >> > BEER COMPASS
> >> > The invisible device that ensures your safe arrival
> >> > home after a booze cruise, even though you're too
> >> > pissed to remember where you live, how you get there,
> >> > and where you've come from.
> >> >
> >> > BEER SCOOTER
> >> > The ability to get home after a night out on the booze
> >> > and not remember it i.e. "I don't even remember
> >> > getting home last night, I must have caught the beer
> >> > scooter".
> >> >
> >> > BOBFOC
> >> > Body Off Baywatch, Face Off Crimewatch.
> >> >
> >> > BOILER SUIT
> >> > The prosecution charge that you did wilfully, and with
> >> > phallus aforethought, score with a BOBFOC last night.
> >> > This charge is usually brought by a kangaroo court of
> >> > your friends in the pub on Saturday night.
> >> >
> >> > BONE OF CONTENTION
> >> > A hard-on that causes an argument, e.g. one that
> >> > arises when a man is watching Olympic beach volleyball
> >> > on TV with his girlfriend.
> >> >
> >> > BREAKING THE SEAL
> >> > Your first piss in the pub, usually after 2 hours of
> >> > drinking. After breaking the seal of your bladder,
> >> > repeat visits to the toilet will be required every 10
> >> > or 15 minutes for the rest of the night.
> >> >
> >> > BRITNEY SPEARS
> >> > Modern Slang for 'beers', e.g. "Couple of Britneys
> >> > please, Doreen".
> >> >
> >> > BRUCE LEE
> >> > Erect nipple (as in, a hard Nip).
> >> >
> >> > BUDGIE'S TONGUE or SMALL MAN IN A BOAT, or TONGUE
> >> > PUNCHBAG
> >> > The female erection.
> >> >
> >> > BUNNY-BOILER
> >> > An unhinged and overly possessive woman. From the
> >> > rabbit boiling scene in the film "Fatal Attraction",
> >> > e.g. "I don't like the look of that aeroplane blonde -
> >> > could be a bunny boiler".
> >> >
> >> > DOUBLE BASS
> >> > A sexual position in which the man enters the woman
> >> > from behind, and then fiddles with the woman's nipples
> >> > with one hand and her Budgie's Tongue with the other.
> >> > The position is similar to that used when playing a
> >> > double bass instrument, but the sound produced is
> >> > slightly different.
> >> >
> >> > DRINK-LINK
> >> > A modern term for a cashpoint machine(ATM). Named so
> >> > because it is common to visit one before going out on
> >> > the booze.
> >> >
> >> > ETCH-A-SKETCH
> >> > Trying to draw a smile on a woman's face by twiddling
> >> > both of her nipples simultaneously.
> >> >
> >> > FLOGGING ON
> >> > Surfing the Internet for some left-handed websites.
> >> >
> >> > FREE THE TADPOLES
> >> > Liberate the residents of **** Tanks.
> >> >
> >> > FRIGMAROLE
> >> > Unnecessarily time-consuming foreplay.
> >> >
> >> > ************************
> >> > The sound made when driving through too narrow a gap
> >> > at too high a speed.
> >> >
> >> > GOING FOR A Mc****
> >> > Entering a fast food restaurant with no intention of
> >> > buying food, you're just going to the bog. If
> >> > challenged by a pimply staff member, your declaration
> >> > to them that you'll buy their food afterwards is a
> >> > Mc**** With Lies.
> >> >
> >> > GREYHOUND
> >> > A very short skirt, only an inch from the hare.
> >> >
> >> > HAND-TO-GLAND COMBAT
> >> > A vigorous masturbation session.
> >> >
> >> > JOHNNY-NO-STARS
> >> > A young man of substandard intelligence, the typical
> >> > adolescent who works in a burger restaurant. The
> >> > 'no-stars' comes from the badges displaying stars that
> >> > staff at fast-food restaurants often wear to show
> >> > their level of training.
> >> >
> >> > MILLENNIUM DOMES
> >> > The contents of a Wonderbra, i.e. extremely impressive
> >> > when viewed from the outside, but there's actually
> >> > ****-all in there worth seeing.
> >> >
> >> > MONKEY BATH
> >> > A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you go:
> >> > "Oo!Oo! Oo! Aa! Aa! Aa!"
> >> >
> >> > MUMBLER
> >> > An attractive girl in tight shorts or jeans, etc. i.e.
> >> > you can see the 'lips' moving but can't quite make out
> >> > whatt they're saying.
> >> >
> >> > MYSTERY BUS
> >> > The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while
> >> > you're in the toilet after your 10th pint, and whisks
> >> > away all the unattractive people so the pub is
> >> > suddenly packed with stunners when you come back in.
> >> >
> >> > MYSTERY TAXI
> >> > The taxi that arrives at your place on Saturday
> >> > morning before you wake up, whisks away the stunner
> >> > you slept with, and leaves a 10-Pinter in your bed
> >> > instead.
> >> >
> >> > NBR (NO BEERS REQUIRED)
> >> > Someone that you'd chat up instantly in the pub. The
> >> > opposite of a 10-Pinter.
> >> >
> >> > NELSON MANDELA
> >> > Rhyming Slang for 'Stella' (the larger).
> >> >
> >> > ONE IN THE DEPARTURE LOUNGE
> >> > The need to defecate imminently.
> >> >
> >> > PEARL HARBOUR
> >> > Cold (weather). An example of it would be - "It's a
> >> > bit Pearl Harbour out there!" Meaning - there's a
> >> > nasty "nip" in the air.
> >> >
> >> > PICASSO ARSE
> >> > A woman whose knickers are too small for her, so she
> >> > looks like she's got 4 buttocks.
> >> >
> >> > RAGMAN'S COAT
> >> > Untidy and unkempt pubic hair e.g. "That mumbler looks
> >> > quite fit but I bet she's got a kebab like a ragman's
> >> > coat!"
> >> >
> >> > RELEASE A CHOCOLATE HOSTAGE
> >> > To defecate e.g. "I've got one in the departure
> >> > lounge, so I'm just nipping out to release a chocolate
> >> > hostage".
> >> >
> >> > SALAD DODGER
> >> > An excellent phrase for an overweight person.
> >> >
> >> > SKIN-CHIMNEY - see BADLY PACKED KEBAB
> >> >
> >> > SPERM WAIL or SPUPHEMISM
> >> > A vebal outburst during the male orgasm.
> >> >
> >> > STARFISH TROOPER or ARSETRONAUT
> >> > A homosexual.
> >> >
> >> > SWAMP-DONKEY
> >> > A deeply unattractive woman.
> >> >
> >> > TART FUEL or BITCH PISS
> >> > Bottled Alcopops, e.g. Hooch, regularly consumed by
> >> > young women.
> >> >
> >> > TEN-PINTER
> >> > Someone that you'd only chat up after drinking at
> >> > least 10pints.
> >> >
> >> > TITANIC
> >> > A lady who goes down first time out.
> >> >
> >> > TODGER DODGER
> >> > A lesbian.
> >> >
> >> > TWO-BAGGER or DOUBLE BAGGER
> >> > Someone that you'd need 2 paper bags to have sex with
> >> > (1 to cover their head, and 1 to cover yours, in case
> >> > their bag falls off).
> >> >
> >> > UP ON BLOCKS
> >> > Menstruating i.e. out of action, a bit like a car in a
> >> > garage. e.g. "I dont think I'll be in luck tonight
> >> > lads, the missus is up on the blocks".
> >> >
> >> > VAGINA DECLINER
> >> > A homosexual.
> >> >
> >> > WALLACE AND GROMIT
> >> > Rhyming Slang for 'vomit'.
> >> >
> >> > **** SEANCE
> >> > During a masturbation session, the eerie feeling that
> >> > you're being watched with disgust by your dead
> >> > relatives.
> >> >
> >> > WYNONA RYDER
> >> > Rhyming Slang for 'cider' e.g. "Pint of Wynono, half a
> >> > Nelson and a bottle of tart fuel please Doreen".
> >> >
> >> > X-PILES
> >> > Unwanted visitors from Uranus.