Letter From Little Johnny To Santa

Lucifer · 17-12-2001 12:27am #1

Dear Santa,

You must be surprised that I'm writing to you today, the 26th of December. Well, I would very much like to clear up certain things that have occurred since the beginning of the month. When filled with illusion, I wrote you my letter. I asked for a bicycle, an electric train set, a pair of roller blades, and a football uniform. I destroyed my brain studying the whole year. Not only was I the first in my class, but I had the best grades in the whole school. I'm not going to lie to you, there was no one in my entire neighborhood that behaved better than me, with my parents, my brothers, my friends and with my neighbours. I would go on errands and even helped the elderly cross the road. There was virtually nothing within reach that I would not do for humanity. What sort of balls do you have leaving me a ****ing yo-yo, a poxy whistle and a pair of ****ing socks. What the **** were you thinking, you fat ****ing son of a bitch. You've taken my for a sucker the whole ****ing year to come out with this ****ing **** that I found under the tree. As if you hadn't' ****ed me enough, you gave that little prick across the road so many toys he cant even walk into his house. The little **** didn't know what to play with first. I soon fixed that for the little ****ing ****. Please don't let me see you trying to get your big fat ****ing arse down my chimney next year. I'll **** you up, I'll stick the biggest ****ing pitchfork I can find right up our fat ****ing arse. I'll throw rocks at your ****ing reindeers and scare them away to ****, then you can ****ing walk home you bollix, just like I have to walk since I didn't get the ****ing bike I asked for.

**** YOU SANTA,
LITTLE JOHNNY.