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Translating English!

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  • 05-01-2002 5:56pm
    #1
    Mr.Applepie
    Registered Users Posts: 2,079 ✭✭✭


    Well i dunno if its been posted before but hopefully this will help some of ye out i know its helped me! :)

    TRANSLATING WOMEN@S ENGLISH:
    Yes = No
    No = Yes
    Maybe = No
    We need = I want
    I'm sorry = You'll be sorry
    We need to talk = I need to complain
    Sure...go ahead = I don't want you to
    Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful
    Do what you want = You'll pay for this later
    I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!
    Are you listening to me?? = Too late, you're dead
    You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
    Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs
    You're so.. manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot
    Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive
    It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now
    You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about??
    I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game On TV
    How much do you love me? = I did something today that you're really Not going to like


    TRANSLATING MEN'S ENGLISH:
    I'm hungry = I'm hungry
    I'm sleepy = I'm sleepy
    I'm tired = I'm tired
    Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
    I love you = Let's have sex now
    I'm bored = Do you want to have sex?
    What's wrong = I guess sex tonight is out of the question
    I love you, too = Okay, I said it...we'd better have sex now!
    May I have this dance? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
    Can I call you sometime? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
    Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd eventually like to have sex with You
    Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
    Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys
    You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to have sex with You in the next ten minutes
    Let's talk = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep Person and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me
    I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I am gay


Comments

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    #2
    Pugsley
    Registered Users Posts: 7,136 ✭✭✭Pugsley


    teeheeeheee,good stuff


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    #3
    Baz_
    Registered Users Posts: 2,660 ✭✭✭Baz_


    rofl, heard some of them before but not all of them, its the funniest thing ive read on humour board in a while, ta.


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    #4
    sceptre
    Registered Users Posts: 19,608 ✭✭✭✭sceptre


    Like it LOL


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    #5
    MelKor
    Closed Accounts Posts: 185 ✭✭MelKor


    thats some good squishy!! but you forgot 2 (or else im the only one who thinks these)

    (both are male translations)

    youre lace is untied, here ill do it = im going to give you a blowjob now

    youre lace is untied, you'd better tie it = well i better not say as im new...use your imagination


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