Lessons in life

Yo Mamma

Pull up a chair kids, because it's time for me to drop some science. There are many universal rules that everyone should know and abide by prior to reaching the age of 5. Therefore we must point and laugh at these people. Point with me now, my friends.

Firefighters in Cape Coral, Fla., said that they retrieved a mans severed, semi-frozen penis from a freezer after receiving a call for assistance from a local hospital.
The hospital requested assistance last weekend, after the man transported himself to the hospital. Firefighters found the penis attached to the surface of the freezer, then poured warm water over it to release it.

Lesson number one? Keep the junk clear of any fcuking frozen object. This means no attempting to hump a flagpole in wintertime, and no manhandling yourself inside your butcher's icebox. Remember when your mother warned you against putting your tongue against these types of things when you were a kid? Well that was just your tongue. Your piece should be your most prized possession, so treat it that way. Moving along...

A Long Island woman accidentally squeezed a drop of glue in her daughter's eye, thinking she was holding a tube of prescription eye drops, police said. Christine Giglio reached for the drops, a treatment for 9-year-old Nikki's pink eye, but instead grabbed a tube of nail glue Thursday morning. Giglio said she made the mistake because the two tubes looked very similar and were kept near each other.

Lesson number 2? First learn rule number 1. But rule number 3 is, look before you leap. Honest to God, you shouldn't have to see American Pie 2 before you realize that glue should be kept in a seperate drawer from any other household item. Also, watch out for Mom. Sometimes they make mistakes. Like my Mother, who I refused to let give me a haircut ever again, after she cut my ear while attempting to give me the wonderous bowl cut. She contends to this day that I was fidgeting (Hi Mom) thereby causing the literal ear-lowering. I say that if she didn't want me fidgeting, she shouldn't be cutting my hair on a barstool in the cold garage next to the area where our dogs did their business. Besides, as I've grown older, I've noticed that I have a slight shaking in my hands. I wonder which parent donated that little genetic trait?

smoke.me.a.kipper

silly people. kinda sad really.

elexes

i thought evolution process ment that these ppl couldent have kids and were the last of there stupid blood line o well i guess if there surviving ther's hope for me

dono about you angel what you think :P