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If Computer Operating Systems Ran the Airlines

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  • 10-01-2002 12:48am
    #1
    Lemming
    Registered Users Posts: 14,148 ✭✭✭✭


    UNIX Airways
    Everyone brings one piece of the plane along when they come to the airport. They all go out on the runway and put the plane together piece by piece, arguing non-stop about what kind of plane they are supposed to be building.

    Air DOS
    Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they jump on and let the plane coast until it hits the ground again. Then they push again, jump on again, and so on ...

    Mac Airlines
    All the stewards, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket agents look and act exactly the same. Every time you ask questions about details, you are gently but firmly told that you don't need to know, don't want to know, and everything will be done for you without your ever having to know, so just shut up.

    Windows Air
    The terminal is pretty and colorful, with friendly stewards, easy baggage check and boarding, and a smooth take-off. After about 10 minutes in the air, the plane explodes with no warning whatsoever.

    Windows NT Air
    Just like Windows Air, but costs more, uses much bigger planes, and takes out all the other aircraft within a 40-mile radius when it explodes.

    Linux Air
    Disgruntled employees of all the other OS airlines decide to start their own airline. They build the planes, ticket counters, and pave the runways themselves. They charge a small fee to cover the cost of printing the ticket, but you can also download and print the ticket yourself. When you board the plane, you are given a seat, four bolts, a wrench and a copy of the seat-HOWTO.html. Once settled, the fully adjustable seat is very comfortable, the plan leaves and arrives on time without a single problem, the in-flight meal is
    wonderful. You try to tell customers of the other airlines about the great trip, but all they can say is, "You had to do what with the seat?"


Comments

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    #2
    ykt0di9url7bc3
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,155 ✭✭✭ykt0di9url7bc3


    Fu<Kin true!


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    #3
    seamus
    Registered Users Posts: 68,317 ✭✭✭✭seamus


    ROFLMAO. hehe so good, esp Linux Air


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    #4
    WhiteWashMan
    Registered Users Posts: 20,099 ✭✭✭✭WhiteWashMan


    my copy of windows has never exploded with a 40 mile radius

    so its not true, just humourous :)


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    #5
    Most Wanted
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3 ✭Most Wanted


    lmfo


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    #6
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 2,874 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Originally posted by WhiteWashMan
    my copy of windows has never exploded with a 40 mile radius

    strangely enough mine has. Anyway thats fuckin good. It livened up my day :(


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    #7
    GoneShootin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,478 ✭✭✭GoneShootin


    zooming round the email chain as we speak


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    #8
    rymus
    Registered Users Posts: 8,819 ✭✭✭rymus


    ah mac air.. how true.. but wouldnt the planes all look sleek and sexy but have no real internal structure or real power in the engines? Ohh and they'd have to make odd, inexplicable noises every minute or so


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