Embarrasing Moments

smiles

A competition was recently held to find out the most
embarrassing moments in people's lives. The following
are the four finalists:

Fourth Place
While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler
decided to release some pent-up energy and started
to run amuck. I was finally able to grab hold of her
after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from
other patrons. I told her that if she didn't start
behaving herself right now, she would be punished. To
my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a
voice just as threatening, "If you don't let me go
right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing
Daddy's pee-pee last night!". The silence was
deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the
tellers
stopped what they were doing I mustered the last of my
dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in
tow. The last thing that I heard as the door closed
behind me were the screams of laughter.

Third Place

It was the day before my eighteenth birthday. I was
living at home,but my parents had gone out for the
evening, so I invited my girlfriend over for a
romantic night alone. As we lay in bed after making
love, we heard the telephone ringing downstairs. I
suggested to my girlfriend that I give her a
piggy-back ride to the phone. Since we didn't want to
miss the call, we didn't have time to get dressed.
When we got to the bottom
of the stairs,the lights suddenly came on and a whole
crowd of people yelled"SURPRISE!". My entire family,
aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins and all of my
friends were standing there ! My girlfriend and I were
frozen to the spot in a state of shock and
embarrassment for what seemed like an eternity. Since
then, no-one in my family has planned a surprise party
again.

Second Place

A lady picked up several items at a discount store.
When she finally got up to the checker, she learned
that one of the items had no price tag. Imagine her
embarrassment when the checker got on the
public address system and boomed out for all the store
to hear: "PRICE CHECK ON LANE THIRTEEN.TAMPAX,
SUPERSIZE." That was bad enough, but somebody at the
rear of the store apparently misunderstood the word
"Tampax" for "Thumbtacks".In a very business-like
tone, a voice boomed back over the public address
system;"DO YOU WANT THE KIND YOU PUSH IN WITH YOUR
THUMB OR THE KIND THAT YOU BELT IN WITH A HAMMER ?"

And the Winner ......

In a biology class, the professor was discussing the
high glucose levels found in semen. A young
female(freshman), raised her hand and asked, "If I
understand what you are saying, there is a lot of
glucose in male semen, as in sugar?" "That's correct."
responded the professor,going on to add much
statistical data. Raising her hand again, the sweet
young thing asked, "Then why doesn't it taste sweet?"
After a stunned silence,the whole class burst out
laughing, the poor girl turned bright red and as she
realised exactly what she had inadvertently said(or
rather implied), she picked up her books without a
word and walked out of the class,and never returned.
However, as she was going out of the door, the
professor's reply was a classic. Totally
straight-faced, he answered her question,"It doesn't
taste sweet because the taste-buds for sweetness are
on the tip of your tongue and not in the back of
your throat!"

<< Fio >>

Victor

Shouted across lab to student: "Bernard are you sterile" (He meant "Bernard are your hands sterile").

On explaining sub-cuticle fat (the fat under the skin) to the class: "Its what make women soft and men hard" (Of course he meant it is what makes their skin soft / hard).

Pugsley

ROFLMFAO!!!! the 1 in 2nd and the winner are both brilliant!

Oeneus

Heh! There all brilliant!

Another one for you:

A friend of mine told me this story of when she went to some Summer Camp thing. She was changing in one of them Bog Cubicals or something. Apparently they only had the one Toilet. And she dropped her Knickers down the toilet and some how accidently flushed them down.

She came out of the cubical wearing only a towel laughing her head off. Everyone saw her and she ended up telling them why she was laughing. And then she also had to explain to their Teacher/superviser why the Bog was Blocked.

Kairo

Brilliant! Absolutely Hillarious!

MelKor

i had one too, in 6th year all my class were inside with the principal going over some maths revision for the leaving, the principle asked me if we wanted to go down the beach (our school was right on the beach) and i said "no ill stay and we can do some intercourse"..... i would have gone on but everyone was laughing!..i wanted to say inter-cert papers!!!!!

i dont know why im saying this, i still dont find it funny

thegills

Our 6th year religion class was shared with all 6th year students and the discussion one day was about sex and procreation. Usually all of the Brothers attended the sessions but the teacher himself was a non-Brother. He was sprouting on about having sex only for the purpose of creating a child. It was getting a bit boring so he asked had anyone any questions.
I said 'Yes Sir, How long are you married'
'21 years he replied', really proudly I might add.
'How many children to you have sir'
'2 lovely teenage daughters' he replied.
To end the class I then asked him 'So what the hell do you know about sex then??'

Everyone burst out laughing and the class was ended about 1 hour early.

GoneShootin

4th clas : primary school

was asked by the teacher to go the room next door and get the footballs. [for sports day or something]

i misheard, and i arrived back with the 6th class footballers. so i sat down thinking i was great. teachers asks them what they want. they reply that he [me] told us to come in here.

it took a week for the laughter to die down, from then on my hatred of the GAA has been steadfast

strat

rofl pld fio
and co

Sangre

LMAO!!!!!! ALL CLasic!!!!
Ive got a pretty mild one cant think of any others

TWas back in the day (4th class). Twas religion class and our teacher is telling us about the wonder of god and Jesus. This went on for a while and finally the teacher asked "so what did jesus ask the disciples at the last supper". ONe of the brighter boys puts up his hand and answers............."CAn i go to the toilet"

Sorry i couldnt think of anything better

Oeneus

Notice that they're all school related?

Lucifer

lol nice 1!!! :D:D

nanook

This thread is too good to vanish just yet.
Keeps me smiling.
Kissing daddy's pee pee
kids you gotta love em

GoneShootin

Kissing daddy's pee pee

now thats just wrong

Dont be at yourself

Hmmm, I would have been in Senior Infants or so and we were doing Irish and the teacher was teaching us how to say "ealk out the door" or something. So she pointed at the door and said "Suil amach on doras" or whatever. And err, I did.

Another time, I actually got in a whole heap of trouble for this, was around 4th class. We were asked to draw a birthday card for our siblings in our religion copies. Anyway, a few months before, I was sent to the shop to get a card for my brother's birthday. I got one that said "What do getting it off with a fat bird and riding a moped have in common? Both great until your mates see you". I, being 10 years old, didn't know what this meant. Anyway, I drew that card in my religion copy. I was called up and given a stern talking to about putting filth in my religion copy. It only later hit me how funny my parents thought I was bringing home the card for my brother.

frood4t2

It snowed a couple of inches last week... so these kids stomped out a rather demeaning phrase to one of their friends, covering the entire soccer field. Apparently, "Earl loves pen1s" can be seen 3,000 feet up in an airplane. That's one to tell the kids!