37 true things................

Lenny

1) Moles are always smaller than you imagine.

2) At the end of every party there is always a girl crying.

3) One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your
pint to toilet cycle gets scynchronised with a complete stranger.

4) You've never quite sure whether it's ok to eat green crisps.

5) Everyone who grew up in the 80's has entered the digits 55378008 into a
calculator.

6) Reading when you're drunk is horrible.

7) Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly.

8) Your never quite sure whether it's against the law or not to have a
fire in your back garden.

9) Whatever your age the desire to make plastic dolls do the 'deed' is
almost impossible to resist.

10) Nobody ever dares make cup a soup in a bowl.

11) You never know where to look when eating an apple.

12) Its impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat.

13) Prodding a fire with a stick makes you feel manly.

14) Rummaging in an overgrown garden will always turn up a bouncy ball.

15) You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses.

16) Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school.

17) the most embarrassing thing you can do as schoolchild is to call your
teacher mum or dad.

18) The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the
first given opportunity.

19) Some days you see lots of people on crutches.

20) Every bloke has at some stage while taking a piss flushed half way
through and then raced against the flush.

21) Old women with mobile phones look wrong!

22) Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a frisbee.

23) Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.

24) You never ever run out of salt.

25) Old ladies can eat more than you think.

26) You can't respect a man who carries a dog.

27) There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you you've
gotten your hand or head stuck in something.

28) No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers.

29) Despite constant warning you have never met anybody who has their arm
broken by a swan.

30) The most painful household incident is wearing socks and stepping on an upturned plug.

31) People who don't drive slam car doors too hard

32) You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood to specifically stir paint with.

33) Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose.

34) Bricks are horrible to carry.

35) In every plate of chips there is a bad chip.

36) Triangle sandwiches taste better than square ones.

37) Beneath every floating balloon is a tearful child.

Goodshape

so true... so funny

Oeneus

I have to say that I have never Flushed at mid-piss and tried to race it.

But I'm definately going to try it right now

You've corrupted my brain....HEhehehehehee!!

Spunog UIE

b o o b l e s s. OH ITS TRUEEEEEE, ITS TRUE. *sheds a tear*

BlackMagic

All funny .................... All true

BLITZ_Molloy

The flush one is reminding me of a skiing holiday in Italy last year. There were only two toilets in the nightclub and no urinals so there was a very large queue. I was 2nd in line and there was this Scottish guy in 3rd who was rather drunk. The door opened and the scottish guy just shoved the 3 of us into the cubical (It had a fair bit of room) and said:

"Right lads, three muskateers!"

Me and the other guy looked at him questioningly.

"Cross swords."

Fair enough... the girls queueing just outside watched in amusement as we performed our trinity of urination. The Scottish guy pissed all over his shoes :rolleyes: .

Panda

Pld OJ

Sangre

LMAO dolls doing the 'deed' its so true

scuzzy

Very true...:p

Hunter-FLUID

lol Very true....:p

phaxx

10) Nobody ever dares make cup a soup in a bowl.

Bite me!



"...as we performed our trinity of urination. "

Heheh!

smoke.me.a.kipper

omg!

BoobeR

sheer brilliance

C B

I never reply in humour but I'll have to make an exception for this - absolutely class.

Number 32 recently happened to me.

And don't laugh - 'cause it'll 'appen to you too.

MelKor

thats unbelievable every one of them is true how did you do it?


oooh wait sorry but i once made a cup a soup in a bowl

Kairo

Originally posted by OJ
36) Triangle sandwiches taste better than square ones.

OMG! Why!? I know its true, but whats the science of it?!

Lol, they are all excellent..especially the monkey one.

No one fears monkeys quite like I do.

saik

*tears*
my own number 38) , if you will:

coke from a bottle ALWAYS tastes better when the wrapper is on.

azezil

20) Every bloke has at some stage while taking a piss flushed half way through and then raced against the flush.

I thought I was the only one! lol

Lenny

Haha, ever fella has _well_ tried that one

strat

hahaha some real class ones there

Chowmein

So damn funny......... So damn true
Pld OJ

Puck

27) There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you you've gotten your hand or head stuck in something

LMAO so true!

Guy Incognito

That's one of the funniest things I've ever read on these boards. Brilliant! All so true.

24) You never ever run out of salt.

I've never seen salt in among the shopping. Where does it come from?