Morning Bruce got a small problem with my bird!!!

Gordon

An email I got recently...

Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems, known as "squawks," said to have been submitted by pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers. Before paranoia sets in just remember the carrier concerned is the major airline that doesn't have accidents. It helps to imagine these lines being pronounced with an Australian accent.

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except autoland very rough.
S: Autoland not installed yet on this aircraft.

P: No. 2 propeller seeping prop fluid.
S: No. 2 propeller seepage normal. Nos. 1, 3 and 4 propellers lack normal seepage.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on backorder.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200-fpm descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for!

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windscreen.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious!

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with words.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

Pugsley

Originally posted by Gordon
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

ROFL!! guddun

nanook

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh gordon

i smiled, i smiled alot

carrot:D

Sangre

Originally posted by Gordon


P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

.

LOL nice one,