Yo momma so.........?

Sangre

[Read message at bottom when done]


Yo momma so fat she goes to a restaurant, looks at the menu and says "okay!"
Yo momma so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat, people said "Taxi!"

Yo momma so fat she had to go to Sea World to get baptized

Yo momma so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller

Yo momma's so fat, she used the interstate for a slip, and slid

Yo momma's so fat, The National Weather Agency assigns names to her farts

Yo momma so fat the highway patrol made her wear "Caution! Wide Turn"
Yo momma so fat when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND THE HOUSE!

Yo momma so fat when she steps on a scale, it read "one at a time, please"

Yo momma so fat when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too

Yo momma so fat she lays on the beach and greenpeace tried to push her back in the water

Yo momma so fat and stupid, her waist size is larger than her IQ!!!

Yo momma so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors
Yo momma so fat she was floating in the ocean and spain claimed her for the new world

Yo momma's so, fat she plays pool with the planets.

Yo momma's so fat, when she weighs herself the scale says "To be continued..."

Yo momma's so fat when she sits on a dollar, blood rushes out off George Washington's nose!

Yo momma so fat she lay on the beach and people run around yelling Free Willy
Yo momma so fat when she has sex, she has to give directions!

Yo momma's so fat she was born with a silver shovel in her mouth!

Yo momma's so fat she makes big bird look like a rubber duckie!

Yo momma's so fat when she walks in front of the T.V. you miss out on 3 commercials!

Yo momma's so fat, the telephone company gave her two area codes!

Yo momma's so fat, her feet need license plates!

Yo momma's so fat, people jog around her for exercise!

Yo momma's so fat her Highschool picture is taken on airfoto

Yo momma's so fat when she fell down and cut herself, gravy poured out

Yo momma's so fat, when she ran out into the road in front of me, I tried to swerve round, but ran out of petrol

Yo momma's so fat that after sex I rolled over twice and I was still on the bitch

Yo momma has one short arm and can't applaude

Yo momma has one short leg and walks in circles

Yo momma has so much hair on her upper lip, she braids it

Yo momma's got three teeth... one in her mouth and two in her pocket.

Yo momma's got so many gaps in her teeth it looks like piano keys

Yo momma's got so many rings around belly she's gotta screw her underwear on

Yo momma's got so many teeth missing, it looks like her tounge is in jail

Yo momma's so old and stupid she knew the Virgin Mary when she was 10 and said, "Li'l Mary will never amount to anything"

Yo momma's so old Jurassic Park brought back memories

Yo momma's so old she has a picture of Jesus in her yearbook

Yo momma's so old she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook

Yo momma's so old she knew the Beetles when they were the New Kids on the Block

Yo momma's so old she owes Jesus a nickel.

Yo momma's so old she owes Moses a quarter

Yo momma's so old she's got Jesus' beeper number

Yo momma's so old that when she was in school there was no history class.

Yo momma's so old when god said "let there be light" she was there to flick the switch

!If you want more i've got plenty so just ask i didnt want in the one thread!

Did you know that yo momma is a member of boards? i think hes gonna take offence.

They is deh funneh neway.

p.s get a life sangre :P

Sangre

Originally posted by Jabba
Did you know that yo momma is a member of boards? i think hes gonna take offence.

They is deh funneh neway.

p.s get a life sangre :P

My mummy isnt a member of boards

P.S you Get a life you STUPID BLONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Victor

"Yo momma's so fat, when she ran out into the road in front of me, I tried to swerve round, but ran out of petrol "

Excellent!!!

Sangre

Yo momma's so old when Moses split the red sea, she was on the other side fishing

Yo momma's so old when she reads the bible she reminisces

Yo momma's so old, her birthday's expired

Yo momma's so old, she co-wrote one of the ten commandments

Yo momma's so old, she coughs out dust

Yo momma's so old, she knew Burger King while he was still a prince.

Yo momma's so old, she used to babysit Jesus.

Yo momma's so old I told her to act her age and the bitch died

Yo momma's breath smells so bad people look forward to her farts

Yo momma's so greasy she sweats crisco

Yo momma's so greasy she uses bacon as a band aid

Yo momma's so greasy when she slid into second she ended in detroit.

Yo momma's so dirty she has to creep up on bathwater

Yo momma's so hairy Bigfoot takes pictures of her

Yo momma's like a refrigerator, everyone puts their meat in her!

Yo momma's like McDonald's... Billions and billions served!

Yo momma's like a mobile phone; free after 7:30

Yo momma's like a radio; she gets turned on by bent knobs.

Yo momma's like a bowling ball; first she gets fingered then chucked down the alley!

Yo momma's teeth are so yellow, when she yawns, traffic slows down!

Yo momma so nasty when she goes to a hair salon, she told the stylist to cut her hair and she opened up her shirt
Yo momma so nasty She gotta put ice down her drawers to keep the crabs fresh!

Yo momma so nasty she made speed stick slow down.
Yo momma so nasty she brings crabs to the beach

Yo momma so nasty she made right guard turn left.

Yo momma so nasty the fishery be paying her to leave

Yo momma so nasty she has to creep up on bathwater

Yo momma so nasty that her sh*t is glad to escape

Yo momma so nasty she went swimming and now we have the dead sea

Yo momma so nasty I called her for phone sex and she gave me an ear infection

Yo momma so nasty lice consider her a great vacation place

Yo momma so nasty she was declared quarantine since before she was born

Yo momma so nasty the bitches teeth look like she got jumped by the Cavity Creeps!!!

Yo momma so nasty skunks run from her
Yo momma like a screen door, after a couple bangs she tends to loosen up!

Yo momma like the pillbury doughboy - everyone gets a poke!

Originally posted by Sangre


My mummy isnt a member of boards

P.S you Get a life you STUPID BLONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

... i dont even have to say anything except lol u gobshite :P

BlackMagic

All great , keep up the good work sangre :cool:


I got to use some of them on my mates:D

Sangre

Originally posted by Jabba


... i dont even have to say anything except lol u gob****e :P

Ummmmmmmm i'd call that saying something

Sangre

Yo momma like a doorknob - everyone gets a turn!

Yo momma like a T.V. set, even a three year old can turn her on!

Yo momma like a bus, fifty cents and she's ready to ride!

Yo momma like a golf course, everyone GETS a hole in one!

Yo momma like the railway system, she gets laid all over the country!

Yo momma like a tomato source bottle, everyone gets a squeeze out of her!

Yo momma like a shotgun: one cock and she blows!

Yo momma like a hardware store: 4 cents a screw!

Yo momma like Domino's pizza-- Something for nothing

Yo momma like a refridgerator: everyone likes to put their meat in her!

Yo momma like cake mix, 15 servings per package!

Yo momma like a rifle... four cocks and she's loaded

Yo momma like a bowling ball. She's picked up, fingered, and then thrown in the gutter

Yo momma like a bus: Guys climb on and off her all day long

Yo momma so stupid when she saw the NC-17 (under 17 not admitted) sign, she went home and got 16 friends

Yo momma so stupid she told everyone that she was "illegitiment" because she couldn't read

Yo momma so stupid that she puts lipstick on her head just to make-up her mind

Yo momma so stupid she hears it's chilly outside so she gets a bowl

Yo momma so stupid you have to dig for her IQ!

Yo momma so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved!

Yo momma so stupid that she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order!

Yo momma so stupid she could trip over a cordless phone!

Yo momma so stupid she sold her car for gasoline money!

Yo momma so stupid she bought a solar-powered flashlight!

Yo momma so stupid she thinks a quarterback is a refund!

Yo momma so stupid she took a cup to see Juice

Yo momma so stupid that she sold the car for gas money

Yo momma so stupid she asked you "What is the number for 911"

Yo momma so stupid she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept

Yo momma so stupid when she read on her job application to not write below the dotted line she put "O.K."

Yo momma so stupid she got stabbed in a shoot out
Yo momma so stupid she stole free bread

Yo momma so stupid she took a spoon to the superbowl

Yo momma's so ugly, she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween!

Yo momma's so ugly, she entered the ugly contest and the judge said, "Sorry, no professionals."

Yo momma's so ugly she makes onions cry

Yo momma's so ugly, her mom had to be drunk to breastfeed her!

Yo momma so ugly she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning.

Yo momma so ugly just after she was born, her mother said "What a treasure!" and her father said "Yes, let's go bury it."

Yo momma so ugly they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies

Yo momma so ugly they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower

Yo momma so ugly they didn't give her a costume when she tried out for Star Wars

Yo momma so ugly instead of putting the bungee cord around her ankle, they put it around her neck

Yo momma so ugly when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillence cameras

Yo momma so ugly her mom had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her

Yo momma so ugly when she walks down the street in September, people say "Damn, is it Halloween already?"

Yo momma so ugly the government moved Halloween to her birthday

Originally posted by Sangre


Ummmmmmmm i'd call that saying something

Hence the word 'except'.

Biffa Bacon

I like them jokes

azezil

Seen / used most of them before.. but really love this one

Yo momma so fat she lays on the beach and greenpeace tried to push her back in the water

ROFLMAO LMAO LOL hee hee hee

Panda

Nice work there sangre

"Yo Mommas so ugly, she turns milk sour!"

"Yo Mommas so short and fat that its faster to jump over her than go around!"

Im sure i had more....