Great Irish Quotes

Lucifer · 29-01-2002 5:54pm #1

Great Irish Quotes

Bosco is a Bollox! Bosco is a Bollox!'

What Zig and Zag were caught shouting (with Ian Dempsey laughing in
background) when the cameras returned prematurely from a commercial break
during 'Dempsey's Den'. Zag was tossing the Bosco puppet around.
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'When I said they'd scored two goals, of course I meant they'd scored one.'

RTE Commentator George Hamilton
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'That mail used to be handled by hand, now it's handled manually.'

Chief Executive of An Post, John Hines.
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'The referendum went as most people hoped it would'

Irish Times editorial displaying acute understanding of the Democratic
Process.
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'Clap your feet!'

Bernie of the Nolan Sisters.
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'He's pulling him off. The Spanish manager is pulling his Captain off!'

George Hamilton as Butreguanio comes off against Ireland.
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'The idea is well and good in theory, but tell me this, who is going to
feed them?'

Wicklow Councillor objects to a proposal to boost tourism by putting
gondolas on Blessington Lake.
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'We are not prepared to stand idly by and be murdered in our beds'.

Rev. Ian Paisley.
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'If you're a fifty pence piece in a pile of ten pence pieces,you have to
shine so much brighter in order to be noticed.'

Bono.
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'What we are doing is in the interest of everybody, bar possibly the
consumer.'

Aer Lingus spokesman.
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'Deep down I'm a very shallow person.'

Charles Haughey.
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'I can hold a note and I know I'm not ugly so, in ways, that's enough.'

Keith Duffy of Boyzone.
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Larry Gogan: 'With what town in Britain is Shakespeare associated?'
Contestant: 'Hamlet'.
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Larry Gogan: 'Name the BBC's Grand Prix commentator? .... I'll give you a
hint. It's something you suck....'
Contestant: 'Oh, Dickie Davies'
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Larry Gogan: 'What was Jeeve's occupation?
Contestant: 'He was a carpenter'.
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Larry Gogan: (after a caller got none of 18 questions right on the Just a
Minute Quiz) - 'Ah, sure the questions didn't really suit you did they?'
Caller: 'Ah go **** off Larry you're only an old bollox'.
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Gerry Ryan: (during a discussion on whether people would like to be buried
or cremated when they die) - 'Would you like to be
buried or cremated?'
Caller: 'Oh, buried Gerry'.
Gerry Ryan: 'And where would you like to be buried?'
Caller: 'Up to me balls in Bibi Baskin!'
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'Stephen Roche, the only British or Irish cyclist to win the Tour de
France'.

ITV commentator.
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'I'm always suspicious of games where you're the only ones that play it'.

Jack Charlton on hurling.
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'Outside HIV in Grafton Street'

Gay Byrne plugging Hot House Flowers appearance.
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VIOLENCE DELAYS PEACE - LENIHAN Irish Times

MRS REAGAN BETTER AFTER FALL Irish Times

DOG SHOOTS MAN Evening Press

TEENAGE MUTANT BINGE AT THURLES Feile '92

RAPIST: I THOUGHT SHE WAS MY WIFE Star

MAN KEPT ARMS UNDER BED AFTER RELATIVE'S DEATH
Irish Times

DEAD MAN INJURED IN CRASH Irish Times.
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'Mrs Windsor can come and go as she wants'.

Gerry Adams on a visit by the Queen to Northern Ireland.
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'I think the Irish woman was freed from slavery by bingo....
They can go out now, dressed up, with their
handbags and have a drink and play bingo. And
they deserve it'

John B. Keane.
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Jim Mitchell TD: You're always mixing me up with someone else.
Ceann Comhairle, Joe Brennan: Yes, I'm always confusing you with that fella
Mitchell.
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'Get married again'.
Charles Haughey to women asking for an increase in the Widows Pension.
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After the cops raided a massage parlor in Rathmines,this is the arresting
Garda's testimony:
"When we entered the premises the defendant was naked and in an aroused
state. When asked the reason for his presence at the establishment, he said
he was being treated for a GAA injury."
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Larry Gogan: 'Complete the saying As happy as ?'
Contestant:'um'
Larry Gogan: 'Think of me'
Contestant: 'A pig in ****'``