naked fridge contents

GoneShootin · 04-02-2002 11:42am #1

Three men were standing in line to get into heaven one day. Apparently
it
had been a pretty busy day, though, so St. Peter had to tell the first
one,
"Heaven's getting pretty close to full today, and I've been asked to
admit
only people who have had particularly horrible deaths. So what's your
story?"

The first man replies: "Well, for a while I've suspected my wife has
been
cheating on me, so today I came home early to try to catch her
red-handed.
As I came into my 25th floor apartment, I could tell something was
wrong,
but all my searching around didn't reveal where this other guy could
have
been hiding. Finally, I went out to the balcony, and sure enough, there
was
this man hanging off the railing, 25 floors above ground! By now I was
really mad, so I started beating on him and kicking him, but wouldn't
you
know it, he wouldn't fall off. So finally I went back into my apartment
and
got a hammer and starting hammering on his fingers. Of course, he
couldn't
stand that for long, so he let go and fell-but even after 25 stories,
he
fell into the bushes, stunned but okay. I couldn't stand it anymore, so
I
ran into the kitchen, grabbed the fridge, and threw it over the edge
where
it landed on him, killing him instantly. But all the stress and anger
got to
me, and I had a heart attack and died there on the balcony."

"That sounds like a pretty bad day to me," said Peter, and let the man
in.

The second man comes up and Peter explains to him about heaven being
full,
and again asks for his story.

"It's been a very strange day. You see, I live on the 26th floor of my
apartment building, and every morning I do my exercises out on my
balcony.
Well, this morning I must have slipped or something, because I fell
over the
edge. But I got lucky, and caught the railing of the balcony on the
floor
below me. I knew I couldn't hang on for very long, when suddenly this
man
burst out onto the balcony. I thought for sure I was saved, when he
started
beating on me and kicking me. I held on the best I could until he ran
into
the apartment and grabbed a hammer and started pounding on my hands.
Finally
I just let go, but again I got lucky and fell into the bushes below,
stunned
but all right. Just when I was thinking I was going to be okay, this
refrigerator comes falling out of the sky and crushes me instantly, and
now
I'm here."

Once again, Peter had to concede that that sounded like a pretty
horrible
death.

The third man came to the front of the line, and again the whole
process was
repeated. Peter explained that heaven was full and asked for his story.

"Picture this," says the third man, "I'm hiding naked inside a
refrigerator..."