Classic scifi quotes

azezil

Originally posted by Terminator
"Get away from her you bitch!"

I love that part!

Inspector Gadget

...a few fine cuts of choice sarcasm from our McGyver in the (star)field, Richard Dean Anderson a.k.a. Col. Jack O'Neill:

Daniel: "Hathor was the Egyptian goddess of fertility, inebriety, and music."
O'Neill: "Sex, drugs, and Rock 'N Roll?"
Daniel: "In a manner of speaking, yeah."
-- "Hathor"

Teal'c: "If the coordinates are for a Goa'uld world which is not on the Abydos cartouche, the Goa'uld will most likely not expect us. I believe a medical attack could be successful."
O'Neill: "'Surgical strike', Teal'c. It's called a 'surgical strike' and I'd feel like an idiot."
Carter: "Sir?"
O'Neill: "I was answering Daniel's question. If we don't do something now and they do attack later I'd feel like an idiot. We go."
-- "Within The Serpent's Grasp"

"Teal'c, look scary and take point."
-- "Prisoners"

"We had a nice time, Sir. Carter picked up some Naquada. Teal'c made some new friends as usual. Daniel got engaged. And, um, I'm gonna hit the showers."
-- "Need"

"Um, you all know I take great pride in my title as Mr. Positive. However, we did destroy their de-goa'ulding thing. Might not they look unkindly on that?"
-- "Thor's Chariot"

Mayborne: "Striking an officer is a quick way to a court martial."
O'Neill: "Oh, I'm not going to strike you, Mayborne. I'm going to shoot you."
-- "Bane"

"That's why we'd like to go back, Sir. Carter wants to get a closer look with some of her specialized... doohickeys."
-- "Touchstone"

Carter: "Even though we can't see them, these Reetou can definitely see us."
Teal'c: "Which puts us at a great strategic disadvantage. I can understand why the Goa'uld would want to eliminate them."
O'Neill: "They're Goa'uld, Teal'c. That's their job."
-- "Show And Tell"

O'Neill: "Jaffa jokes? Let's hear one of them."
Teal'c: "I shall attempt to translate one, O'Neill. A Serpent guard, a Horus guard, and a Setesh guard meet on a neutral planet. It is a tense moment. The Serpent guard's eyes glow. The Horus guard's beak glistens. The Setesh guard's nose drips..."
-- "Seth"

"So help me if I wake up and I'm singing soprano...."
-- "Seth"

Carter (hearing Apophis): "Sir?"
O'Neill: "Just a huge, honkin' Apophis, Major. Nothing to worry about."
-- "Rules Of Engagement"

"They put that damn memory thing on me. And then they gave me something that reminded me of the 70s."
-- "The Devil You Know"

Carter: "Look, Colonel, Mayborne's forces are moving in soon."
O'Neill: "Mayborne? How'd he get....?"
Carter: "I called him."
O'Neill: "Willingly?!"
-- "Foothold"

"To be fair, General, I did it. Carter and Daniel protested. And Teal'c...well, he really didn't say anything, but I can tell he was opposed to my actions by the way he...cocked his head and raised his eyebrows...."
-- "Shades Of Grey"

Carter: "The Stargate isn't made of regular stone. If given enough power, a wormhole forms within the circle and that allows us to travel to other worlds."
Reegar: "Wormhole?"
O'Neill: "Giant worms. Huge."
-- "New Ground"

Carter: "Well, that means something inside this pyramid is slowing down neutrinos. Normally neutrinos pass right through ordinary matter, no matter how dense. I mean, something like five hundred million billion just passed through you."
O'Neill: "No matter how dense."
--- "Crystal Skull"

Carter: "I'm getting ready to do a detailed analysis of the decay rate of Naquada within the reactor. It's really quite amazing that, unlike plutonium, Naquada actually has a...."
O'Neill: "Ah ah ah! I'm on vacation."
-- "Nemesis"

Carter: "So, Sir, are you saying these bugs are technological?"
O'Neill (about the replicators): "Apparently they plan to land the ship and infest Earth. Thor says this would not be a good thing."
-- "Nemesis"

Daniel (to Thor): "You're actually saying that you need someone dumber than you are?"
O'Neill: "You may have come to the right place."
Hammond: "Thor, with all due respect to you situation, we need SG-1 here."
Carter: "I could go, Sir."
O'Neill: "I don't know Carter, you may not be dumb enough."
Carter: "I think I can handle it Sir."
-- "Small Victories"

"I remember something. There's a man. He's bald and wears a short-sleeved shirt, and somehow he's very important to me. I think his name is Homer."
-- "Beneath The Surface"

"Flight, this is Digger One. Cheyenne, we have a problem."
-- "Tangent"

"Flight. This is Digger One - we have negative… nudging capabilities."
-- "Tangent"

O'Neill: (referring to Apophis) "He's looking a little pissed."
Carter: "We did just destroy his fleet."
-- "Enemies"

O'Neill: "We brought pizza and a movie."
Teal'c: "Star Wars."
O'Neill: "He's seen it what... 8 times?"
Teal'c: "Nine."
O'Neill: "Nine times. If Teal'c likes it, it's gotta be okay."
Carter: "You've never seen Star Wars?"
O'Neill: "Oh, you know me and sci-fi. Come on, we never get to just hang out, so I thought we..."
-- "Ascension"

"I have great confidence in you, Carter. Go on back to the SGC and confuse Hammond."
-- "Red Sky"

Ambassador: "They made a star? How?"
Carter: "Well, theoretically, by increasing the density of a sufficiently massive gas giant until a thermonuclear reaction could take place. In fact, Arthur C. Clarke posited a…"
O'Neill: "Ambassador, you gotta be careful about the use of the word ‘how', unless you really wanna know."
-- "2001"

Carter: "Sir, are you ok?"
O'Neill: "Oh, couple stitches, concussion, nausea, dizziness, the usual."
-- "48 Hours"

"Its always suicide mission this, save the planet that...no one ever stops by to just say hi anymore."
-- "Summit (Part 1)"