The further adventures of Little Johnny...

Shiminay

A first-grade teacher, Ms Smith was having trouble with one of her students.

The teacher asked, "Little Johnny what is your problem?"
Little Johnny answered,"I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third-grade too!"
Ms Smith had had enough. She took Little Johnny to the principal's office.

While Little Johnny waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms Smith he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave. She agreed.

Little Johnny was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.

Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Little Johnny: "9".

Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
Little Johnny: "36".

And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade should know. The principal looks at Ms Smith and tells her, "I think Little Johnny can go to the third-grade."

Ms Smith says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions?" The principal and Little Johnny both agree.

Ms Smith asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?"
Little Johnny, after a moment: "Legs."

Ms Smith: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"
The principal wondered, why does she ask such a question!
Little Johnny replied: "Pockets."

Ms Smith: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"
Little Johnny: "Pants"

Ms Smith: "What's starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin Whitish liquid?"
Little Johnny: "Coconut."

The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer, Little Johnny was taking charge.

Ms Smith: "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?"
Little Johnny: "Bubblegum."

Ms Smith: "What does a man do standing up, a woman do sitting down and a dog do on three legs?"
The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer.
Little Johnny: "Shake hands."

Ms Smith: "Now I will ask some "Who am I" sort of questions,okay?"
Little Johnny: "Yep."

Ms Smith: "You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do."
Little Johnny: "Tent."

Ms Smith: "A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first."
The Principal was looking restless and bit tense.
Little Johnny: "Wedding Ring."

Ms Smith: "I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good."
Little Johnny: "Nose."

Ms Smith: "I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver."
Little Johnny: "Arrow."

Ms Smith: "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of heat and excitement?"
Little Johnny: "Firetruck."

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put Little Johnny in the fifth-grade,
I got the last ten questions wrong myself."

swiss

I usually don't respond to the humor board but in this case I'll make an exception

ROFL, good'un mate!

Lump

Ya gotta love little Johnny



John

Shad0r

Hearty spud munching lol indeed...

Kraken

i failed first grade got all the second set of answers wrong.....

filthy mind

Victor

Originally posted by Kharn
Ms Smith: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"
Little Johnny: "Pants"

What am I missing here?

Qualm

A dog... poops, while a man steps in it....
A man steps into pants, whie a dog...pants.
ooooh, the mysteries of the world unraveled!

Ps: What a DAM good selection of larfs.

xern

man that kid rocks!!:D

EvilGeorge

Excellent!!

Kolodny

Cool. A Little Johnny I hadn't heard before - excellent!!!

Pugsley

Isnt Jhonnie the living embodyment of a bast*rd?