Why Dogs Are Better than Women

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Why Dogs Are Better than Women

Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs.
Dogs understand that you are their master.
Dogs love it when your friends come over.
Dogs think you sing great.
Dogs understand that farts are funny.
Dogs are excited by rough play.
Dogs like it when you leave lots of things on the floor.
Dogs can appreciate excessive body hair.
Dogs enjoy heavy petting in public.
Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk.
Dogs have ten breasts.
Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.
Dogs don't borrow your shirts.
Dogs don't mind if you give their offspring away.
Dogs don't expect you to call when you are running late.
Dogs don't shop.
Dogs don't want to know about every other pet you've had.
Dogs don't cry.
Dogs get excited when you take out the leash and choker chains.
Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.
Dogs understand that instincts are better than asking for directions.
Dogs seldom outlive you.
A dog's disposition stays the same all month long.
A dog's parents never visit.
A dog's time in the bathroom is confined to a quick drink.
Dogs like it when you leave the toilet seat up.
When a dog gets old and starts to snap at you incessantly, you can shoot it.
It's legal to keep a dog chained up at your house.
You never have to wait for a dog. They're ready to go 24 hours a day.
The later you are, the more excited dogs are to see you.


Why Women Are Better than Dogs

It is socially acceptable to have sexual relations with a woman.
Women look good in sweaters.
Women leave the room to fart.
Women know how to make popcorn.

How Women and Dogs Are the Same
Both look stupid in hats.
Both look good in a fur coat.
Both put too much value on kissing.
Both can eat 5 pounds of chocolate in one sitting.
Both tend to have hip problems.
Both constantly want back rubs.
Both are good at pretending that they're listening to every word you say.
Neither understands football.
Neither believes that silence is golden.
Neither can balance a checkbook.
You can never tell what either of them is thinking.