if it were a mans world!!!

FatB

If It Really was a mans world......



1. Breaking up would be a lot easier. A smack on the arse and a
"Cheers for the séx - now fúck off" would pretty much do it.


2. Birth control would come in ale or lager.


3. Valentine's Day would be moved to February 29, so it would only occur in leap years.


4. On Mothers Day, you'd get the day off to go drinking.


5. Instead of "beer-belly", you'd get "beer-biceps".


6. Tanks would be far easier to rent.


7. Every woman that worked would have to do so topless.


8. Every man would get four, real Get Out of Jail Free cards per year.


9. Telephones would cut off after 30 seconds of conversation.


10. When your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during the televised football, she'd appear in a little box in the corner of the screen when the ball goes out of play.


11. Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed as an
acceptable response to "I love you."


12. The funniest guy in the office would get to be boss of the company.


13. "Sorry, but I got wasted last night", would be an acceptable excuse for absence and/or poor time keeping.


14. Lifeguards could remove females from beaches for violating the "Public Ugliness" law.


15. Hallmark would make "Sorry, what was your name again?" cards.


16. Lager would have the same effect as Viagra.


17. "Fancy a shag?" would be the only chat up line in existence and it would work every time.


18. Everyone would drive at least 80mph and anyone driving under that would be fined.


19. Dinner break would happen every hour and the boss would hire in strippers and 2000 per-night brasses for the duration of those breaks.


20. Saying "Lets have a threesome. You, me and your sister" to your wife/girlfriend would get the response, "What a great idea!!"


21. Harrier jump jets would take you to and from work.


22. Everyone would own a real Light saber. Any disagreements would be settled with a fight to the death. (or the loss of a hand)


23. Vomiting after 20 pints would actually make you more attractive to the opposite séx.


24. When it was time to leave work, a whistle would sound and you'd get to slide down the back of a Brontosaurus like Fred Flintstone.

suppafly

Aright F@B a couple of them are really funny. like the first one!! but some of them are really lame!!

Spunog UIE

3. Valentine's Day would be moved to February 29, so it would only occur in leap years.

Sweet!

10. When your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during the televised football, she'd appear in a little box in the corner of the screen when the ball goes out of play.

LAMO just imagened this.

leeroybrown

If that happened, you'd probably still end up missing a goal every time she popped up. And imagine the size of window needed for some women ...

FatB

Originally posted by suppafly
some of them are really lame!!

well then u post some funny stuff, instead of trying to build up your post count by replying to all my messages!!!!:rolleyes: :rolleyes:

Puck

24. When it was time to leave work, a whistle would sound and you'd get to slide down the back of a Brontosaurus like Fred Flintstone.

Yep that's the dream alright!:D

Sangre

LMAO there a work of genius, but we can only dream right?

Hussy

The college Professor had just finished given his class an important research project which was necessary to pass the class.There are only two excuses for it being late:
1)Medically certifiable illness
2)Death of a students immediate family member
A smart ass student at the back of the class put up his hand and said"what about extreme sexual
exhaustion?"As you would expect the class exploded into laughter,when they had finally calmed down,the professor froze the young man with a glaring look."Well",he responded "I guess you'll just have to learn to write with your other hand."

vac

That one hussy said was used in a film, i just can't remember the name of it